Never enough...

Ever notice how quickly time flies by. I am sure you do it is a phenomenon about the older you get the quicker is goes. I wonder if like childhood there is a point that it slows down again, even if it is just a little while. When I was 12 I started counting down until I got my driver's license, I though I was getting it at 15 so the 3 year countdown that seemed like an eternity started then. Funny thing, I did not get it until I was 16, but I did vigilantly countdown 3+ years of my life. I could not wait. I eventually got that thing, only to have it suspended a mere 3 months later....by the court system, my parents actually suspended more like 6 months. Damn speeding tickets.

Then I counted down until I was 18 for obvious reasons and then again until I was 21. I remember being so disappointed at 21. Why did I count down and wish away my days of my life. Nothing really spectacular happened and that is where I vowed to never do that again. But I got engaged at the age of 25 and the countdown started once again. At 26 I got pregnant and the countdown started again, except that it went by more slowly. When I got pregnant a second time I knew that in 9 months time I would meet my son and that Meredith would not be my only child. I was excited and sad, and so I did not wish those minutes away. I knew that Noah could be my last baby and that I would never again feel a little one inside me or feel that close connection that a mother only feels. Those days flew by and my second miracle was here.

Since then the time has flown, it truly has. Noah is about to be 5 months old and Meredith will be 2 years old on Thursday. Where has the time gone? I am sure that I have not had enough time to savor the small things in life. Like the sweet kisses and big hugs and love you mommas. I need more time to rock my little Noah to sleep and more time to play "bippity boppity boo" with Meredith. I need more time to tell my sweet husband that I love him dearly. I need more time to sit together around the table as a family to eat dinner. I need more time to nurse my sweet baby boy and let him hold my finger as he does. I need more time to make everything "all better" with just a kiss.

I need more time until my kids start kindergarten. I need more time until they learn the cruelty of being made fun of. I need more time until they fall in love and have a broken heart. I need more time until they learn to drive. I need more time until they want to say "I hate you mom." I need more time before they are slamming doors and getting attitude. I need more time before my kisses will not make it all better. I need more time until they leave to go off to college. I need more time before they get married and move out.

Can someone do that, will there counting down and wishing away their own years really slow time down for all of us. I just need a little more time.