This week has been tough. Noah started running fever Monday and on Monday afternoon we found out he had another ear infection. This one has made him very cranky and restless. In fact he hasn't slept a whole lot at all. No good naps and at night he is up crying literally all night long. Meredith knows her bubby is sick.
"Nowee no feel dood!"
"Nowee ear hurt"
She says those two things over and over. And I guess since he is feeling bad and she sees how tired I am she has been on really good behavior. No tantrums, no episodes of absolute crankiness or chaos. Having my sweet Meredith back has been really nice.
So last night as Josh was trying to get Noah to sleep, I was laying with Meredith. We were laying in her bed in the dark giggling and talking like girls do at slumber parties. Talking about Woody and Jesse and life and politics and then she picked her head up and rubbed my head very gently and said....
"Mommy, I proud of you!"
I know it is something she has probably heard me say to her before, but at that moment I needed it. I had no idea what being a mother was all about. I had no clue how hard it was or how much out of me it would take. But knowing that Meredith was proud of me or that I was often proud of her just let me know that I can do this after all.....well I will just keep trying my best and trying to make her and Noah proud.