Friday, July 11, 2008


Have I ever told you that I am person with high anxiety. I worry about things all the time. I worry about dumb things, things that may not happen, things that will work themselves out in time and things that are way beyond my control. I have always been this way....a worrier.

Sometimes I feel so blessed, I truly have a great life. There is a roof over my head, my kids go to bed with full bellys and I am married to the most wonderful man. My life is too good, when will the bad luck hit? This is the kind of thing I worry about.

My husband loves his job and it provides better than a great life for us. My kids are happy and healthy and I got to spend every minute with them. My days this summer have been spent hanging out by Mimi's pool surrounded by friends and family and doing lunch and playdates with friends. What is not to love about this life?

But at night when I lay my head down I am ever thankful for it and then I worry that in one instant it could all slip away. My karma is bound to run out. I know this degree of worry is not normal. I also know it comes and goes. A family here in the town I live is going through a really dark time. A father and husband is losing his life to cancer and it is so sad. I know this situation is the cause for my latest anxiety, but it scares me. I don't want to take this life for granted, but I don't want to lose it either.

If you pray please say some prayers for this family.


The Owen Family said...

I am MS. Anxiety too!!!! Robert worries about nothing but I am always worrying about something. And when I don't have anything big to worry about, then I will look for something to worry about! I really think this is a woman thing. I feel so much for the Weather's family and Stephanie his wife. I have prayed for her a ton. Go to and type in jasonweathers (all one word) for the is amazing what strength she has in a time like this. She did a journal entry yesterday I think, I wish I was as strong as she is. It really was incredible to read.

Blair said...

I worry a ton too. About dying, loosing Wade or my children. I think it is hard not to worry when there is so much heartache out there.
I will pray for that family.

Jaimie said...

Every since I've known you you have worried about the silliest things. I'll never forget the one time you thought you had cancer. Every ache and pain is "what is that?" "I think I'm dieing" "THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END SOON!!!"

Honey you have a wonderful life b/c God made it that way. You deserve the life and great friends and family you have. Don't dwell on the "karma" thing and enjoy every minute you have been given. God knows what he's doing and knows whats to come. Let Him worry about that...NOT YOU!!!!!

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!


mandi said...

Thanks girls for you comments.

Jaimie you are right, I need to find more faith to trust more. I am actually going to go to a bible study with laura (commented first) in the fall and really looking forward to it.

Adalyn's World Views said...

Don't worry. I am insane. When we cross bridges I actually locate my seatbelt cutter and start making plans about how to get the kids out if we go into the Lake. Yes, I ordered a seatbelt cutter and window smasher. Just imagine when I am bymyself. Who do I unbuckle first and how am I going to swim with two kids? Now that's anxiety.

Annie said...

Mandi, seriously are we sisters? If I happened to watch a TV show where the person has the man eating flesh disease, guess what? I saw spots appearing on my leg and I have it to! The shameful part is, I know I have this disorder, but yet I can still make myself believe something awful is going to happen, or that I have something, I don't. I've gotten a tad bit better, but I can still make myself believe things that are crazy. If I plant the seed.. it will grow. I think, I need some sort of support group!