I just kept waiting

So Sunday we headed to mass and as soon as we sat in the pew I knew it could be a long hour. Noah was already squirming to get on the ground and cruise. I knew that this was not going to be a very enjoyable or enriching hour while trying to contain an almost 1 year old.

So I told Josh why don't we see if he will go to the nursery. Yes Noah goes to Mother's Day Out one morning a week, but he knows those ladies and it is very familiar to him. He has never been to this nursery staffed with college kids and bigger kids and rowdy kids and now I had myself wondering if this was a very good idea.

But I took him anyway, just to see. I set him down and he immediately crawled right over to a toy and pulled himself up to play with it. He then looked back and me and smiled and squealed. I guess that was his way of saying "I'm alright momma, just go away!" So I stood and talked to the college girl who is the director and waited. I then talked to the other young girl who was sitting and playing with him and waited. I then filled out paper work and signed him in and waited. I then got my pager in case he started crying and they needed to page me and waited. I then got them to test it out to make sure it worked and waited. I then went and hugged him goodbye and waited.

What was I waiting for? The tantrum, the tears, the "don't leave me momma" sobs. They never came. I started to head out and then turned around and stood there for a minute watching him. I watched as a 2 or 3 year old went near him and hugged him and just as I started to walk over to yank him off and grab my precious baby and run out the door, Noah pushed him away and the college girl redirected the older child to a different area. I then watched as Noah re-engaged in another activity and started laughing in hysterics. I just kept waiting though and finally the director or college girl looked and said, "He will be okay and if he isn't we will page you."

With that huge cue, I left the room. We were seated in church only about 50 feet from the nursery. I made Josh get up three times during mass to peak through the door and make sure he was okay. Those college kids hadn't instilled the greatest confidence in me, I mean they seemed professional with their early childhood studies, but still he's my baby. All three times that Josh peeked in he was doing great. All three times he was engaged in some activity and having fun. All three times I thought...Wow, my baby isn't screaming or crying and needing his momma. All three times I thought, my children are as different as night and day. I still can't leave Meredith in the church nursery without her losing her marbles.

I kept waiting and waiting for him to cry and then I kept waiting for mass to be over to run and get him and hug him and tell him how much I missed him. He is growing up so fast and I am so not waiting for that.