Five

Dearest Meredith, 

Today you are five.  FIVE.  five?  I know... when did you get so big?  This has been a big birthday for you.  You could not wait for this day to come.  You birthday is one of the last amongst your little friends and it has been hard.  Just last month as we were getting ready for another birthday party, you put your hands on your hips and said "this is it, I'm done.  I'm not going to anymore birthday parties until I am 5!"  Thankfully we weren't invited to anymore, because I am pretty sure you would've stood by your word.

Your fifth birthday celebration was so memorable.  It started by us getting not one but two birthday cakes.  One to serve and one for you to blow candles out on.  Why?  Oh because you got mono two weeks before your 5th birthday.  The joys of big school and turning five.  But you were determined to feel better by your party.  You told me that all week.  "Don't worry mom I will feel better for my party."

In the past five years it is amazing how big you have gotten and how fast that has happened.  I know it is cliche' but it passed in the blink of an eye.  I still remember five years ago, being wheeled to my room in the hospital after coming out of recovery.  It was about 3am and the nurse was going over a few things.  I had been awake for 21 hours at this point, 17 of those hours in labor and had just undergoing a major abdominal surgery to meet you.  After her five minute spiel she looked at me and asked "Any questions?"  I remember looking back at her in my exhaustion and simply asking "Can you repeat all that to my husband when he gets here?" and then asking "Are you just going to leave this baby in here with me?"  Becoming your mom was surreal, like no other thing in the world.  I had no clue how awesome it would be, how amazing.  You changed me.

The night before you birthday party as we tucked you in, you looked at your dad and I and said "Well tomorrow a lot of things are going to change now that I'm five....Oh mom I just can't wait I'm going to start fixing my own food and my own drinks...and I'm going to be tall enough to go outside and get my own cokes out of the refrigerator."  It tickled me to death to see how excited you were for this day. 

Every year for your birthday, your dad and I go all out to throw the best celebration we can, to celebrate your five years here on earth.  To celebrate another year of you.  To celebrate getting the wonderful privilege to be your parents.  To celebrate you.  We love you so much.  We love who you are and who you strive to be.  We love you.  Happy Birthday to my five year old.

Love,

your momma