Monday, June 23, 2008

An airport, two stink bombs and a lot of swearing....

So Sunday we headed to the airport to await the much anticipated arrival of the daddy. Yes, he was coming home.....finally. He was at a conference finishing the 2nd part of a really big test. I was ecstatic, I missed him, I couldn't wait to hand off the kids and lock myself in my room for a little alone time.

As we were waiting in a field for the plane to come in.....yes I know how that sounds. We were waiting in a field of grass and the plane, well mini-plane was going to touch down about 100 ft from where we were standing. Well I say 100 ft, but in all honesty I have no idea how far 100ft. is....let's just say Josh saw us from his plane window waving.

So we are standing there waiting and Meredith has picked up every rock within a 25ft. radius of us and all of a sudden there was an explosion. Of the Oh Shit sort.....the Oh green shit sort! And it wreaked....god did it wreak. So I had two options, hold my full of green shit baby boy and await the highly anticipated plane or go inside to the terminal and change the diaper taking the chance of missing the landing of the plane that we had been talking about for 4 days. I opted for number one. The plane was delayed 15 was smallest tikes nasty bum was less than 2 feet from my nose....damn flight delays. And I was thinking....where is the god damn plane???? Maybe I even said it a time or two.

Finally I see a light in the sky and it looks to be headed straight for us.....

"Look Meredith there is daddy's plane!"

"What....what momma?"

"Daddy's plane is right there in the sky.....See it?" pointing at the bright light in the sky

"What....what you say momma? What momma?"

pointing furiously while holding a cute baby with a stinky bum...."RIGHT THERE...SEE IT"

"Plane scary momma!"

"No baby the plane is not scary...see look it is landing...see daddy?"

turns to the parking lot "what momma? where's daddy?" looking in the opposite direction

"Mizzie look at the plane...wave to daddy"

Waving furiously at the big, loud plane "HI DADDY! HI DADDY PLANE!....MOMMA SEE DADDY?!?!?!"

So we headed inside to get Josh and that is when I inform him that Noah has the most smelliest diaper ever and the diapers are in the car. So I leave him in the shoebox that they are calling an airport and head to the car to fetch the diaper bag. I come in and change the explosion in the said diaper and Josh and Meredith head off to retrieve the luggage with the other 15 passengers...I had never seen a plane so small.

"Come on Meredith come with daddy to get his bag"

"Going get bag daddy?"

"Yep come on!"




At this point I am just smiling at the people staring as I change the poop in the terminal and wave to my child who is yelling for everyone to hurry up dammit!

As they head back with the luggage I noticed that someone else has dropped a stink bomb in their diaper as well. I'm glad she didn't say "I shit in my diaper dammit...quit staring!" It is only a matter of time!


Shannon said...

Kids have the best timing, don't they?! Glad to hear that the family is finally back together. ; )

McKenzie said...

Oh, this made me laugh. Upstanding Christian that I am, I tend to drop the Jeezie Creezie (I don't want to type it out, lest I offend anyone) in front of my 19 month old, usually when his 5 week old sister won't stop crying, typically saying "J C, baby - please stop crying." I schlepped them both to the pedi for her 1 month check, and in the waiting room was another newborn. My curious son walked over and the baby started to cry. He looked at me, slyly, looked at the baby, and said, very calmly, "J C, baby - please stop crying." I silently thanked J C when our name was called a few moments later. Oops!