Slave to the pager

Earlier today my husband called to ask how my day was going....I had one word for him....BUSY! I have been getting ready for a "Holly Fair." I will have a table there and sell stationery as well as take orders. It is in three weeks so a lot of preparation for that has been going on around here. That and we leave for Disney the next day and Delta decided to cancel our direct flight, so I have been talking to them all day today too. Busy, that is exactly how I would describe myself. There is not enough time in the day to get everything I need done, done.


So my loving husband said "don't cook, we can go out or I will pick up take out." Great, no cooking, one monkey off my back. But I forgot that tonight we were "slave" to the pager. Just as we finished telling Meredith we were going out to dinner and getting everyone in the car, the wretched thing went off, blaring in my ear. That is always the way it works, so the kids and I went to eat out alone. As I was turning around at the entrance of our subdivision to bring my husband back to his car it could go 1 of 2 ways. I could go back home and try to whip something up with no groceries in the house and no plan or go out by myself with two kids and make a mess for someone else to clean. I opted for number 2.

I pulled up in the parking lot of our favorite local pizza haunt and two babies started crying for me to carry them, one that actually needed carrying and one that was heartbroken her daddy would not be dining with us. So I lug in all 58lbs of children, plus my purse and diaper bag. Then I remember I forgot Meredith's cup that we brought along for free drinks and had to lug them back to the loser cruiser to get it. Yes body building and weight lifting are my past time.

I then struggled to get the door open and carried the 2 tikes to the counter where I politely told the older tike she abso-freaking-lutely had to walk because my arm was about to fall off. I then ordered a pizza and salad and drinks for the three of us and my absentee husband. I dug into my purse while holding my twenty pound octopus and looked for the ever-missing credit card. I finally found it before he emptied the entire contents of my purse and diaper bag and paid. I then carried the twenty pound octopus and a high chair while navigating a two year old to a quiet table in the back. It was no easy feat, but I made it look easy, I must have.

I listened to the "wow, how does she do it" and "she is one brave lady" the whole time while I thought to myself.......Yes I am super-mom that is how I do it, not to mention I am charged on pure anger that you lazy, gentlemen-less ass did not get up to help me. There were at least 5 tables of able bodied men and women who watched as I struggled to carry the damn high chair and two children and not one offered any assistance other than snarky comments.

I then lugged the said octopus and his sister to the drink machine where I filled up three cups and maintained my sanity again while others just stared and talked loudly about me. My kids were damn good, they sat like a little gentleman and lady and waited patiently for their pizza. I then fed a hungry baby who really wanted table food and simultaneously cut pizza for my two year old and managed to enjoy three slices of my own.

When we finished I flagged down a box and again carried my two kiddos and a pizza and salad out to the car. I know you won't believe me when I tell you no one even got up to open the door, but it is true. What the hell is wrong with you people!

I wanted so badly to shout..."Please don't feel sorry for me, I chose to do this. I can do this! My husband does love our family but there was a more pressing matter in the ICU or something and that is why I am here by myself..........SO OPEN THE DAMN DOOR FOR US YOU LAZY SHIT!"

But I didn't, I maintained what sanity I had left for the day and had a slice of pizza. I will tell you this though, when I see a "supermom" struggling and in need of some extra super powers I damn sure will lend her mine, I hope you lend her yours too!