By definition of Homework......

I often forget how literal 3 year olds can be.  No, seriously I do, even with my 3 year old shadow talking to me constantly, I do.... I forget.  This week Noah had a homework assignment for his pre-school class.  Now before you all freak out, it was to decorate a collage about things he LOVES.  Very cute I know.  I have to say I'm getting to be a mighty fine collage maker.  This is the 5th one I've made in the last three years, I'm sure #6 is a week or so away.

Back to the story, his HOMEwork was to make a collage.  He got the assignment last Monday and had a whole week to do it.  It was due yesterday.  I completed it Sunday...I like to teach my kids procrastination.  See I can't even complete this story without going off topic multiple times....it's late....forgive me.  Yes, 8:44pm is late these days.

Okay trying agan....the HOMEwork was due Monday.  We completed it and I have to say it looked darn cute for pulling things together Sunday morning and printing pics right off my computer onto card stock.  I listed all the things Noah loved....well most of them...he's pretty loving.  He then colored it with his big sisters help.  And when it was done we talked about it so he would know what to tell his classmates about all the things he loves and then packed it neatly into his folder and schoolbag.  I was proud of my our work.  He seriously did color it, with a lot of help from his sister....at his request.

So off to school we went Monday with our collage.  As I walked him in, I saw all the kiddos laughing, smiling and holding their collages proudly.  I couldn't wait to hear about what everyone loved and what he told the class  about his when I picked him up later that day.

So imagine my surprise when he gets in the car that afternoon and I open his folder and see the collage that I had did we had did.  My first thought was.....what the hell....I mean come on Mrs. P, you could have at least kept it one day....I worked so damn hard!  I was perplexed.  His teacher last year had hung them all year and sent them home in a scrapbook at the end.  Surely his new teacher could keep them a night....right?

Hey Noah....did Mrs. P not want to keep your collage at school?

"Uh-huh"

Uh-huh she did or Uh-huh she did not.

"She did"

"She did want to?"

"Yeah....but I cwried"

You cried?

"Yeah I cwried because I didn't want to"

You didn't want to what?

"I didn't want to weave mine....so I cwried and her let me take it home."

Did any of the other kids take theirs home?  Or just you?

silence


Noah did the other kids hang theirs up or take them home?

"They hung dem...I taked mine home becuase I cwried"

Buddy, no we have to send it back....you have to leave it at school like your friends....we can't take it back home.

And the crocodile tears started.....so did the hysterical crying and incomprehensible speech.  I finally got him to calm down enough to explain to me that...

"Momma it's HOME- WORK....I don't want it at school....I want it at HOME!"

I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that the crying  and negotiating went on for an hour over the homework.  I tried explaining that homework is sent home to do, but goes back to school.   He has still not mastered the definition of HOMEwork.  I promised to help him make another collage for at home...I also promised that one day we would get this one back.  But none of these promises pacified the little guy.  So I had to use the tough love approach when I explained the collage was going back to school and that he would get it later when all the other kids did.  Tears or no tears.  He finally accepted that.

He wanted the homework on that board up there apparently.  

Today I didn't send it back though.  I walked him in to talk with Mrs. P to see if Noah's version of the story was true.  Especially since I learned that his little friend Bella brought hers home too.  Well his story was true.  Apparently when she went to hang them, Noah started crying.  It took Mrs. P a minute to figure out why.  Once she did, she told him he could take it home, she didn't want to upset him.  After that he started a domino effect with the 3 year olds and they all wanted to bring theirs home....Mrs P, being the wonderful, sweet teacher she is, let them.  But this Mamma is a stickler for rules and tomorrow it's going back.

Yes, my Noah is very literal, poor little guy.