Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Tips for Margot

Dear Margot,

Since you are still pretty new to this thing called life, I thought I would impart a few words of wisdom to help you survive in this big, bright world.

1.  Despite what your mother's day out friends say, the macaroni, pudding, yogurt, spaghetti in the hair look is NOT in style.  I promise.

2.  Despite Meredith's wish, we do not in fact have a robot named Rosie like the Jetsons that comes behind you every meal to sweep and vacuum the food.  Yes, as a child I thought that was futuristic and be around when I was an adult, but that is not the case.  And Brownie she just doesn't do that well of a job, so the food needs to stay at the table...or the highchair tray.

3.  Diaper changes are necessary.  Diaper rash is absolutely no fun, it's itchy and uncomfortable.  So please, please, please stop thrashing and wailing when I change you.  It is so not necessary.

4.  We do not have or want an indoor pool.  No matter how much water you spill out of the kentwood machine, it will never be enough to swim in.  Please stop trying.

5.  Speaking of swimming, the toilet is for poop and tee-tee.  It is not for swimming or splashing.

6.  While we are on potty talk, toilet paper is expensive.  Once you place the entire roll in the toilet it is no longer of use.  If you want to go to college one day...again Please stop.

7.  Hiding you shoes will not result in you never having to wear them.  It will make me crazy.  All the time I spend searching and cursing the fact that we are now late.  Yes, please leave your shoes in the cubby like your brother and sister.

8.  Snack time is at 9am and 3pm.  You are not allowed to help yourself to a snack any ole' time you want.  Your brother is wrong...we do not just help ourselves to cookies and fruit snacks all day long.

9.  Crayons and markers were made for paper.  Not walls....or cabinets....or furniture....or clothing....or your face....or to eat, they are for paper only.

10.  It is not nice to play hide and seek with important things.  Like keys, remotes, wallets, your shoes!  It's only nice to play when you tell someone you are playing and you hide yourself.  Not things.