Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The Summer....A letter of apology

Dear Children,

The summer is over and I'm not sure if I should rejoice and celebrate or cry.  It's been a summer.  Our house has been re-listed, which meant loads of cleaning and showing and this momma stressing.  Your Poppa had a really big surgery and had a very rough recovery.  It stressed me, Nanny and Mimi out.  There were ups and downs and all kinds of bumps in the road.  The good news he is home and now driving Mimi crazy while on a road to a full recovery.

So I guess those things were stressful and I admit I was a little stressed, and therefore I let your summer down.  I let you stay up late and then woke you up early for the gym.  I did fun things with you, but stayed on you correcting you like little soldiers the entire time we did the fun things. I never got into the moment.  I was always sort of removed and my mind somewhere else.  I hardly ever enjoyed or seized the moment.  I was tired and lazy.

We had our fair share of days at the pool.  We took 2 vacations, although one as shortened and rainy the entire time.  You had a lot of babysitters and days home.  You didn't seem to mind.  It was probably nice to not have me breathing down your neck yelling to keep the house orderly or stop fighting.

We skipped out on the summer reading program at the library, even though I had the best intentions and signed us all up.  We only made one trip and one event.  I didn't even get the books we checked out back on time and we never checked any out again all summer.  You still read at home though.  Meredith you read to everyone.  You did your workbooks and you painted with watercolors and you cut and glued and used all sorts of pipe cleaners.  But I always fussed about the mess.  We had movie nights, but the popcorn wasn't there.

I bought cup cake mix and lots of icing and sprinkles and declared on the first day that we were baking them on the first day off.  The mix and icing and sprinkles still sit on the pantry shelf.

We did playdates, but not as many as we normally do.  We went to the pool and we did camps, and we stayed busy.  We fit in the children's museum and waterpark, but I always felt overwhelmed.  We went to the movies and jumpy places.  We did chuck-e-cheese and maybe we did Gattitown, I really just can't remember.  We ate out a lot, like all summer and you often asked for home-cooked meals.  You spent a lot of nights with just your dad, while I sat with Mimi at the hospital.  I missed you.

I guess in a nutshell, I'm apologizing.  For being a mom who was missing from the moment this summer.  I promise to always do better.  You guys were 6,4 and 2.  I expected and demanded you act a lot older.  It wasn't fair and this Momma is sorry.

I love you guys and I'm already sad that school is back in, but I promise, come 3 o'clock I'm going to the bestest momma in the world.  And next summer....it's going to freaking ROCK!  Thanksgiving Break, Christmas Break and Spring Break too!


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