The memories I want to last forever

Tonight my little man made a very big milestone....no not potty training....we did that a few weeks ago.  No tonight marks his second night of going to bed WITHOUT his pacifier.  The pacifier I dreaded taking away for a few reasons....

1. I am pretty sure he was more addicted to it, than his sister was, if that is possible.
2. My hands are pretty full and this was one more thing I was putting off.
3. There was no Disney world trip planned to try and bribe him with.

However Mimi and Poppa came to the rescue with number 3....no we aren't going to see Mickey Mouse....but they did promise to by my boy a "shewiff car" that he had been eyeing in the toy store for his birthday IF he got rid of the paci.  And I was not sure who was more excited....Noah or Mimi.  Noah was pretty stoked someone agreed to get him a "shewiff car" even though he already has a gator.  And Mimi is always excited when she gets to spoil her grandchildren...which she does quite well.

So yesterday, Mimi kept all 3 tikes while I went to a meeting.  When I got home they showed me a bag of pacifiers.  A bag that Noah had willingly collected and put his pacifiers in.  He then gave them to Mimi to take home.  Later on that day he found one....under his bed...he put it in his mouth....and when I found him he told me that Mimi forgot one....then he asked me to hide it with him under his covers so Mimi and his Daddy couldn't find it.  I guess he knows who lets him slide in the family....me.

I laughed and then I took his paci and said he could only have it at night time OR I could call Mimi and give it to her so he could get his sheriff car.  He told me to give it to Mimi and so I took it downstairs and hid it. 

That night he went to bed.....WITHOUT a pacifier.  And he slept all night WITHOUT a pacifier. 

At 7am the next morning, Noah was ready to call Mimi and report his news.  And as promised Mimi and Poppa picked him up from school today and took him to get his sheriff car.  He then stayed at Mimi's that afternoon to work on it with Poppa.  When I picked him up around 3, the sheriff car was finally finished, however it needed to charge for 24 hours before it could be driven.  Explain that to an almost three year old without any tears.  He was genuinely heartbroken as was his Poppa seeing this.  Poppa promised that as soon as the sheriff was full of gas he would bring him over the next day.  And with that promise we finally got him into the car to head home.

Tonight Noah went to bed at his usual time again without a paci.  However he got up three times to use the bathroom.  Finally after asking a fourth time to go potty in an hour, Josh told him no and the tears started flowing as well as the "I want my paci" cries.  My heart broke a little, but I knew better to give in.  He did it the night before and now he was the proud new owner of a sheriff.

So I laid with him and his daddy laid with him and we both listened as he cried broken heartedly for his paci and the sheriff he never got to ride today.

I finally asked him if he wanted me to tell Poppa to bring his sheriff back to the lady at the toy store and I would go get him a paci and he shook his head no while sobbing "no I a big boy."

Right now my two favorite guys are upstairs sound asleep side by side and neither one of them has a paci.  These are the memories I don't want to forget and the stories I want to one day tell Noah.  How much everyone loved him and wanted to celebrate this accomplishment.  How very proud of him we were at what may one day seem as very small accomplishment....because today, right now....this is huge.

To my birthday boy

Dear Noah,

Happy belated birthday!  Can you believe you are two?  Me either.  I'm not sure how it happened or where the time went.  I swear just yesterday you were learning to sit unsupported.  Do you remember those days, because I am trying to figure out how we got from there to here so quickly.

But yes, you are two.  Your daddy says I baby you too much.  I let you get away with things I still don't let your sister get away with.  But you're the baby right?  That's what I keep telling myself.  And you are and you always will be.  Even when the caboose arrives.

You have totally swept me off my feet.  I fell in love all over again for the third time.  It was a love just as strong and powerful as the 1st and 2nd.  When you were born that early morning 2 years ago I grew a whole second heart and I love you with all of it.  I cannot describe it in words, but I love you my little boy.

When I found out you were a boy, I was elated.  I secretly wanted a boy.  I know you aren't supposed to say that, of course I wanted you to be healthy, but I also wanted you to have a penis.  And when I found out you had one, I was beaming inside.  See I didn't grow up with any brothers, it was just me and my sister and then along came Meredith and we know she is all girl.  Pink and sparkly are her domain.  But, you were brand new.  And you totally intimidated me at first.  I had no idea what to do with a little boy and those little boy parts I wanted you to have.  But I learned quickly.  I'm amazed at all the boy things I have learned in two short years.

You have changed my lift little man.  That phrase momma's boy doesn't even cover it.  You are such a little momma's boy.  And such a little boy.  You are into dirt, playing rough, getting messy, trucks, trains and airplanes.  You are rough and tumble and have no drama.  Rarely do you shed a tear.  You do know how to work the lip, but tears are not your thing.  However at the same time you give the best cuddles, you climb in my lap look at me and say "Wuv you momma....es cuddle!"  And cuddle we do.

You love to talk and you have the vocabulary of a three year old.  You talk non-stop.  You also love to sing. LOUD.  Even in quiet places like church.  You answer the phone when it rings, you tell me which way to go when I'm driving, you tell me how to fix things, or when to sit, come and play or when you want anything.  In fact you are very bossy...you get that from your dad and your sister...definitely not from me. 

You have climbed out your crib and now sleep in your "boo bed."  You love your blue bed, it has blue sheets and you named it that yourself.  We tried calling it your "big boy bed", but you would have none of that.  It is your blue "baby" bed.  It is definitely not a big boy bed.  You make that fact known immediately.  Because you are the baby.  Your refer to yourself as the baby.  I often here you say "baby do" or "baby's turn" when referring to yourself.  I could eat that up.  See why it is so hard for me to accept you are two.

Part of you wants to grow up.  To follow your sister and join in on the big kid games, yet part of you still wants to be the baby and snuggle and cuddle and be carried everywhere.  I'm okay with that, if it is possible I promise to carry you in on your first day of high school.  Which hey at the rate you are gaining weight may very well be possible.  You weigh no more than 24lbs fully dressed.  You are my bean pole, very tall and very thin. 

You got a John deer gator for your birthday.  Absolute best gift ever.  You love that thing.  You drive better than your sister does, hell you drive better than your daddy does.  Don't tell them I said that...they would totally cry.  You are such a big boy on that thing.  You drive it all over the drive way and even go off roading.  All too soon I know it will be a real vehicle and so I beg....please s.l.o.w down.  Stay little, just for a little while longer. 

I love you my big two year old....my baby!
Love,
momma