I'm no Martha either

Sewing.....(insert big sigh)!

I wish I could sew, it is the one of the many skills I don't have, but wish I did. At night I dream of how whipping up some curtains or a cute little dress for Meredith or a little Jon-Jon for Noah. Seriously in my dreams it is so easy and I am a fabulous seamstress.

Well a few months ago I sat at Meredith's preschool orientation and listened to the various programs and parties they would hold this year. In November was the Thanksgiving feast and the children were to come dressed as Pilgrims or Indians. So cute right? The only catch the costumes had to be made not store bought. Now I know full well that the teachers did not expect me to go home and pull out my sewing machine and whip up an adorable costume. What they meant was don't spend money, take the time to make it with you child. I mean we could only jump on the world wide web and have one sent to our door in days. But the point was make it out of a paper bag, pillowcase or get really creative and sew one up.

My plan was to learn to sew and whip one right out. I then emailed me friend, Julia, who in my eyes is Martha freaking Stewart. Look at this dress she whipped up over night. And it is reversible and can be worn like this too. Oh yes my friends, if you ask her she will deny being very good at sewing too!

Anyway I emailed her about my plan. I was going to go to hobby lobby, buy some fabric, cut a neck hole and then throw it over her neck and ties a belt and call her an Indian. Sounded easy. Then I remembered how two years ago I got a wild hair up my ass and ran off to Target and got a sewing machine. Yep, I even once upon a time sewed a really quick blanket. So I thought I can totally rock this, I can whip it up and get it done. Who needs sewing lessons, or a pattern?

I emailed my friend back and told her my new plan. I just needed to see if she could come and help me get the machine gone. See that was where I got stuck. I needed someone to help me just thread the darn thing, I was pretty confident I could do the rest in my head, no pattern, no plan, no clue. A self proclaimed seamstress.

I ran to get my fabric and the lady asked what I was making. I told her about the Thanksgiving feast at the preschool and how I had to make the costume. She asked how long I had been sewing and it was so nice to see young girls who knew how to sew and on and on. I then let her in on my little plan. I didn't know how to sew. I was going to just whip one up with no pattern or anything. Cut a hole, sew up the edges, tie a belt and voila! She had a look of sheer horror on her face. In fact she didn't sell me too much fabric because it was like $7 a yard and she was pretty sure I only needed 1 yard to do what I had just described. I tried to by more, I knew I would need at least 2 for practice. She only sold me one and wished me good luck!

I then emailed Julia and told her of my plan and the run in with the lady at the Hobby Lobby. Julia wasn't so sure this plan would work either, she informed me I did indeed need a pattern and offered her assistance. I was stoked. The Indian dress was coming together.

So today was the first lesson. Yesterday Julia showed me how to cut out the fabric with a pattern. Very easy....I had that covered.

Then today we started. She got my machine all ready and off we went. Two hours lady the dress was done, well except for the button holes, the machine really is possessed, even Julia couldn't get the damn thing to do it right. So she took my little Indian dress home to put some button holes on it. I have to admit though, Julia did most of the sewing and me most of the observing. I asked lots of questions, but failed to take notes. I should have though trust me.

I was stoked, I called my husband to tell him, I did it I made Meredith's dress. He was so excited and said he couldn't wait to see what else I would be making. Me either. After my first lesson I had it down pat!

After I fed the kids lunch and played outside a bit, I put them down for naps and couldn't wait to sew some more. So I took the extra fabric I had. Oh I forgot to mention after cutting out all the fabric with Julia I did indeed need some more. Only a little more, but this time the nice lady insisted I needed a whole yard, because a half wasn't going to make it. So I bought it, she didn't remember me and this time I just pretended to have the whole sewing thing down.

So there I was sitting on my threaded machine that was waiting to go. What was I to make? And a genius idea popped in my brain.....Indian pants for Noah! He could wear his on Thanksgiving with Meredith! How cute would that be. So I got started. I laid out a pair of Noah's pants just like Julia showed me and I started cutting away. I didn't have a pattern, this would do right. Wrong.....I am so clueless. After 20 minutes I gave up. The damn machine wouldn't work, I couldn't remember the steps, it kept getting stuck and the pants were gettings smaller and smaller, pretty soon they wouldn't even fit barbie. I threw the fabric to the side and thought I totally suck. I was about to give up when I lost my mind and decided to give it another go. Only problem, I didn't have a enough fabric to cut some more pants so this time, I just decided to make a purse. A cute little indian purse that Meredith could bring to the Thanksgiving feast. Oh Meredith I really do try so hard!

I got it all cut, then I started. I know another pattern, this one completely from my head. After 5 minutes I had the needle stuck in the machine. I got it out, re-threaded it and began again. I forgot so much of what I learned earlier that my machine is now toast. The needle is stuck, the fabric is stuck in the machine, the damn thing won't go up or down even with my prying, begging and screaming. I get it......I'm no Martha, I'm no seamstress....and I'm no Bree Vanderkamp! I'm just me! Hey Julia....I think I need a few more lessons.....and I might need help getting the machine right again.