SUNDAY, AUGUST 29, 2010
THREE!
It's been a while, what can I say, being the mother of three is a lot busier than I ever imagined. Well three that are stepping stones and all under 4, because in some way or another they all still need the momma. The one and only momma and no one else will do.
Let me describe three....so you can get the mental picture....
Three is standing at the back door trying to put the smallest in the car seat to get ready to get donuts, trying to answer the questions being spit out by the other two about can we leave now? when are we going? where are we going? are we getting chocolate milk? can I get sprinkles? is the sky blue? can we get a pet dinosaur? can we take a trip to the moon? all while consoling the crying.....scratch that....now screaming infant, who doesn't' really want to get in the car seat and go to get donuts. Nope that infant would rather just be held all day at home, because she can't even eat the damn donuts. So you finally console her and are about to buckle her, but at this point your 2 year old has grown so impatient he has unlocked the lock and deadbolt that you have constantly told him never to do and it is at that exact second that you remember that you forgot to turn off the alarm... the alarm whose speaker for the siren is located on the wall of the mud room that you are currently standing in with all three kids, approixamately 4 feet above you, in a room that is 6ft by 4ft and it is at that split second that you hear the door open and that tiny mudroom is instantly filled with the most awful, loudest, screeching noise you have ever heard. The only thing louder is the wails from the infant who has projectile spit up all over you and your hair in fear, and is now using her tiny palms and fingers to grab on to you for dear life....screw that car seat. The other two have now wrapped their entire little bodies around your two legs and aren't sure if they should cry or not....but surely they are beyond terrified and I am pretty sure the 2 year old has now shit in his diaper. And you are frozen, because you are covered in spit up, and can't move due to the two kiddos who have firmly attached themselves to you and make it increasingly difficult to walk. The alarm pad is 2 feet away....you are pretty sure you ear drums have blown and you now have a migraine from the noise at 7:30am....and you are thinking that at any moment someone is gonna throw you a break and scoop in and make it all better..... and then you realize you are the momma..... now the momma of three....and life is always going to be some sort of alarm just blaring in your ear waiting for you to fix it.....because the momma fixes everything....no breaks coming your way.
In the end we got the alarm turned off and told the alarm company we didn't need any rescue vehicles, I explained to the tikes, who never realized we had such a cool feature before, what it was for. I didn't use the whole it is to make sure intruders never enter the house speech....I went with the....it is to make sure that you guys never open a door to go outside without me knowing speech. I'm a mom...of course I gave the latter explanation. I then got the infant and myself cleaned....the infant who also had the shit scared out of her literally and it was all up her back....and then I reloaded everyone back into the car seats and headed to get doughnuts...eventually we were all sitting at the table enjoying our sprinkles and chocolate milk, it just took a hell of a lot longer than it would have taken with one tike or even two...but that's my life now....THREE! Welcome to my new journey. I promise I'm back...I think I've been missed, based on the various emails to please post on this blog again...well I've missed you too internets!
Let me describe three....so you can get the mental picture....
Three is standing at the back door trying to put the smallest in the car seat to get ready to get donuts, trying to answer the questions being spit out by the other two about can we leave now? when are we going? where are we going? are we getting chocolate milk? can I get sprinkles? is the sky blue? can we get a pet dinosaur? can we take a trip to the moon? all while consoling the crying.....scratch that....now screaming infant, who doesn't' really want to get in the car seat and go to get donuts. Nope that infant would rather just be held all day at home, because she can't even eat the damn donuts. So you finally console her and are about to buckle her, but at this point your 2 year old has grown so impatient he has unlocked the lock and deadbolt that you have constantly told him never to do and it is at that exact second that you remember that you forgot to turn off the alarm... the alarm whose speaker for the siren is located on the wall of the mud room that you are currently standing in with all three kids, approixamately 4 feet above you, in a room that is 6ft by 4ft and it is at that split second that you hear the door open and that tiny mudroom is instantly filled with the most awful, loudest, screeching noise you have ever heard. The only thing louder is the wails from the infant who has projectile spit up all over you and your hair in fear, and is now using her tiny palms and fingers to grab on to you for dear life....screw that car seat. The other two have now wrapped their entire little bodies around your two legs and aren't sure if they should cry or not....but surely they are beyond terrified and I am pretty sure the 2 year old has now shit in his diaper. And you are frozen, because you are covered in spit up, and can't move due to the two kiddos who have firmly attached themselves to you and make it increasingly difficult to walk. The alarm pad is 2 feet away....you are pretty sure you ear drums have blown and you now have a migraine from the noise at 7:30am....and you are thinking that at any moment someone is gonna throw you a break and scoop in and make it all better..... and then you realize you are the momma..... now the momma of three....and life is always going to be some sort of alarm just blaring in your ear waiting for you to fix it.....because the momma fixes everything....no breaks coming your way.
In the end we got the alarm turned off and told the alarm company we didn't need any rescue vehicles, I explained to the tikes, who never realized we had such a cool feature before, what it was for. I didn't use the whole it is to make sure intruders never enter the house speech....I went with the....it is to make sure that you guys never open a door to go outside without me knowing speech. I'm a mom...of course I gave the latter explanation. I then got the infant and myself cleaned....the infant who also had the shit scared out of her literally and it was all up her back....and then I reloaded everyone back into the car seats and headed to get doughnuts...eventually we were all sitting at the table enjoying our sprinkles and chocolate milk, it just took a hell of a lot longer than it would have taken with one tike or even two...but that's my life now....THREE! Welcome to my new journey. I promise I'm back...I think I've been missed, based on the various emails to please post on this blog again...well I've missed you too internets!
1 comment:
This post is so frighteningly true of my future. We are unexpectedly expecting our third child- doing the 2u2 again! I found your blog a while back but it wasn't on my reader. I'm glad to have stumbled across you again- as I'm going to need your insight. :)
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