Lent, Facebook and other Things

Last year for Lent I decided to give up Facebook.  It lasted three days.  This year I had so much to be thankful for.  So much.  Life, love, family, friends, health.  I could seriously go on for hours.  So very much.  And when I got down to why we give up something for Lent it just really hit me this year.  Not that I have any less to be thankful this year than the others, but I do.  Because each year, each day, each minute is a gift.  A very precious gift.  And so I thought about Lent, I thought about God, giving his only son, to save me.  To save you, to save all of us.  I'm not sure I would be willing to do that. Being a mother has given me a whole new perspective on Easter and Lent.  Would I give my only child or any one of my three to save you or me?  No.  And when I thought about it that way, giving up a coke or chocolate or sweets and trying to improve my figure at the same time, just didn't seem right.  A son for a coke?  No, I felt like it needed to be big, it needed to mean something.  So I gave up...Facebook.

And to be honest, it has not been bad.  I've been more productive.  I've started blogging again.  I spend quality time with the tikes, that I hate to admit used to be spent on facebook.  My laundry hampers are always empty, my clothes are always put away, my dinner is typically cooked by noon.  I re-joined the gym and my husband he says I'm happier.  All this because of Lent and Facebook?  Probably not.  I mean Lent did inspire me to give up Facebook.  But giving it up sparked me to get busier, to think about things, life and to seize the moment.  Get things done.  It's been one of my best Lenten sacrifices yet.

Part of me misses being in the loop.  I have gotten phone calls and text messages asking me what happened.  Why would I give that up?  Asking if and why I defriended them?  Was I crazy?  Did I miss it?  Am I going back?

I will tell you what I miss.  I  miss the local news, the comments on the stories cracked me up.  And I miss the brief updates on the news.  I miss big happenings around town.  I have made friends promise to call and fill me in if it was a very need to know situation.  However is there "need to know" type situations on Facebook?  I miss my family from out of town posts.  I think my family also misses seeing pictures of my kiddos.  I miss being able to send a quick message to someone when I need to.  But that is all I miss.

Instead of Facebook, I fill my days doing house work I would have otherwise avoided or playing with the kids, without my phone in hand surfing Facebook.  I'm more engaged with them.  Noah and I spend more time in the driveway playing baseball than we ever have before.  I also found pinterest.  Which I find just as interesting without all the bullshit that goes along with it.  I also only spend a few seconds of time on it.  Never on my desk top always on my phone, while waiting in car lines or while sitting idle at meetings or whatever.  I have to say, since giving up Facebook, my pinterest skills have skyrocketed.  I probably have the best virtual closest, home and dinners around!

I thought the nights would be the hardest.  That is typically when I would spend way too much time on Facebook.  My husband often has loads of work to do at night and so that is when I would spend lots of time.... Unhealthy amounts...surfing, chatting, shopping.  Whatever.  Now I have read 6 books since Lent started.  Which is way more productive.  And my Words with Friends game has drastically improved.  And that helps me fend off Alzheimer's, seriously a doctor...and not my husband, told me that this weekend.

The other biggest difference I noticed is...I am no longer sitting on the couch with my iPad or my iPhone.  I'm more engaged in life, the here and now.  My kids....they no longer sit around fighting over my iPad or my iPhone.  Instead I find them reading books, playing with toys, and engaged in life.  I guess actions do speak louder than words.

So that my friend is where I've been.  The question I hear the most is will I go back?  Hmmm. I guess I have 33 more days to decide.

Bath Time Fun!

Too get this much enjoyment out of the the small things in life....It's what it's all about.

What he says...some of it is absorbed

Patience is a very big word in our house.  Since Meredith was born it is used daily. 

"God grant me the patience to get through this day."
"Because counting to 10 helps mommy find her patience."
"Meredith have some patience, I will bet there in a minute!"
"Noah, where is your patience?  One second and I will get it!"
"Have Patience.....PLEASE!"

I don't think a day goes by that I don't utter the word patience to someone in this house or to myself.  In fact I don't think a day goes by that Josh doesn't utter it as well.  We are big at instilling patience in our household.  Maybe because my husband has gallons of it and I have none and hope to instill a little into our kids.  I am learning to get some of my own,  having 2 tikes has definitely helped me out.

A little background about what comes next.... At Noah's mother's day out program there is a handicapped door entrance.  It has a red button a few feet in front of it and when you press it, both door magically open.  Lots of parents stand outside the door with very patient children waiting for the doors to shut so the kids can have their turn pressing the magic button.  Not me and my kids, if the doors are already opened we just repress and walk in, I don't have time to wait for them to close and do it.  Most of the time we are rushing.  The rule is Noah presses it on the way in since he stays there and Meredith on the way out.  I established this rule after 3 weeks of them running and fighting over pressing it.  It works for them and me and my sanity.

Anyway today I was caught off guard with what happened...

"come on guys let's go, remember Noah presses the button on the way in Meredith!"

"Noah, hurry, hurry, go press the button!"

we were a good 30 feet away, 3 little kids were coming up quickly behind us, Noah looked over his shoulder at Meredith and said...

"Have pay-shens TATA!"

And that folks is what I call DAMN good parenting!

What she says....the fairy

 Blair this one is for you....

So a few weeks ago a friend of mine and fellow blogger posted a story about a special fairy.  This fairy is the clean up fairy.  After countless days of begging and pleading for Meredith and Noah to pick up their toys....and threats of throwing their toys away if they didn't pick them up, I took Blair's idea and went with it.  I told Meredith about the fairy.  I told her how she came at night and picked up any toys that were left out and gave them to boys and girls that didn't have any toys.

After my preschool explanation of this fairy and how she worked, my daughter began to cry.  At first I thought it was because she was so sensitive to the fact that some boys and girls had absolutely no toys.  I went into lots of detail about that and here she was sobbing about how some kids had no toys and she was going to share them.   I was impressed.....about to pat myself on the back...who said parenting was hard?  It wasn't but a few seconds later and then I realized that she was crying because she didn't want that fairy to come and give her toys to anyone.  It wasn't that she wanted to share with others who had no toys, it was that she didn't want to share with anyone....toys or no toys!  I know I will continue to work on that sharing thing, right after I get this clean up thing working.

Anyway I digress....back to the fairy.   So I go into detail and explain and re-explain how it works.  That night when the tikes are in bed, the play room, and their bedrooms are spotless.  I helped, but they did the bulk of the work.  Meredith worried about the fairy and Noah picking up due to his sister's persistent begging so that the fairy won't come.  The next night same thing.   In fact their have been times where we couldn't leave the house with the play room a mess in fear that the fairy would come by while we were out. 

A few days go by, the picking up continues and I realize my child is genuinely afraid of this fairy.  She is losing sleep over it, literally.  She can't sleep at night in fear of the fairy coming in her room at night to get her toys.  I am frustrated.  I didn't paint this fairy out to be the bad guy.  I didn't say she looked like a wicked witch and pulled toes.  So I really didn't want to have to say she was pretend and go back to living in a pig pen, but let's face it....we all need sleep....and by sleep I mean in our own beds.   So I did it, I broke down....I told her the damn fairy wasn't real.  She was just pretend.  She could sleep, there was no fairy coming.  It was just me and I was just going to throw those toys away if they were left out. 

My moment of truth did not change the mind of my 3 year old.  To her that fairy she still exist and I am just saying that she is pretend so she will sleep.  We still pick up at night.  She still stays up at night in fear of her.  I guess I need to make sure that the fairy brings a few surprises to let Meredith know she is a good fairy.

But today, the fairy thing backfired completely.  Meredith, Noah and I were in the backyard playing outside, when they started moving the pea gravel that is in the sand boxes under the swing set and dumping it all over the yard.  I quickly halted this and told them we needed to pick it up and put it back.  PRONTO!  They just stared.....

"Guys....NO, NO, NO,  the rocks stay under the swing set!"

"but why?"

"Because....I do not want pea gravel all over the yard."

"but why?"

"Because....it will kill the grass"

"but why?"

"Because when we cut the grass it will get shot across the yard by the lawn mower."

"but why?"

"Because IT BELONGS in the boxes under your playhouse and that is where it needs to stay"

"but why?"

"because I freaking said so.....BECAUSE, BECAUSE, BECAUSE!"

"but..."

"No...stop right there...let's pick up....RIGHT NOW"

"No mom, let's just leave it.  Da fairy will come when we are sleeping and just throw it away.  Okay!"

I realize I was outsmarted by a 3 year old this afternoon.  Lord help me when she is 16.

cleaning up this mess

Today I had the lovely job of cleaning out the refrigerator. Yuck. There were left overs in there from the 18th century and lots of them had grown mold. I know, anyone want to come to dinner now. This wasn't I job I wanted to do, or one that I normally do.....I normally leave it for Josh. And yes, he does it, but not as often as I would like. So today I rolled up my sleeves and got to work.

As I was throwing out the green, fuzzy casserole that I don't remember ever eating it got me to thinking about how much I clean up after people. Two very specific little people. A lot! And yes I know it is my job to do that and someone, namely my mother, did it for me. In fact there are times she still does. But the job can be quite disgusting none the less.

There are plenty of times I want to just walk the other way and leave the mess for the "real" mom to deal with and then it hits me......the real mom is me.....I still don't know how that happened. The jobs like cleaning up toys, and the car after a long trip or a short one, the food off the floor, the dirty dishes after dinner, the vomit when they are sick (which has been a whole lot this year), the late night accidents in the bed, the leaky diaper at night, the messy diapers, the diaper explosions and the various other dirty jobs a parent incurs, make me want to sometime run for the hills.

I don't run obviously, but I do think about it. And really I'm not complaining at all, in fact I know one day all too soon, Meredith and Noah will be cleaning up after little people of their own. Hopefully they will one day have their own homes and pets that will need cleaning up after as well. And who knows, they may even have to clean up after me one day....although I hope not.

That being said, I sit here in disgust and unrest over the other, bigger mess we are leaving for them to clean up. Yes, the economy. I'm afraid this economy is only going to get worse and one day it will be a huge mess for our children to clean up. I hope they can do it and don't head for the hills themselves. God knows the government has no clue how to do it.