Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Dearest Margot,

Today you are one! It's been one of the quickest years of my life. It doesn't even seem possible that you are a year old already. It seems like in the blink of an eye you went from this little blob of a baby having bilirubin checks to sitting, crawling and emptying out cabinets. Where did the time go?

In the tradition of my tikes' birthdays, I will also tell you your birth story on your very first birthday and each year I will tell it again and again.  Because I will always celebrate the 13th of July of 2010.  It was one of the best days of my life.  It was the day I met you.  And so...

Bright and early on the morning of July 13, 2010 I woke up and took a shower and headed to the hospital for 6am. You were the first c-section scheduled for that morning. I patiently waited for 7:30am to arrive.  That was my scheduled surgery time.  But when 7:30 rolled around, we were told I had to wait, because I had yet to get my IV to receive the two bags of fluid I needed to have the surgery. I surprisingly kept my cool and did not bite off my very sweet RN's head when I realized that this meant a delay. You see I was having a pretty good morning.  I  mean I was nervous as hell.  You see I'm a big chicken and you required a surgery to make your way into the world.  However, I was cool, calm and collected as compared to your brother and sister's birth days, in which I was scared shitless.  I'm not sure why, maybe because I knew sort of what to expect.  So this delay, was not doing much for my nerves.  I quickly began to move from the cool, calm and collected stage to the "okay I've changed my mind and am ready to go home" stage.

After I talked your dad and Dr.C, my anesthesiologist, into squeezing the bag to make it drip faster, I was wheeled back to the surgery suite. All was a go.  Dr. B, the ob/gyn was ready and now I just needed to be prepped and grounded and get my spinal in to get the show on the road.  That is where all the fun began. It took Dr.C over 40 minutes to get my spinal inserted. Yes, drugs are a huge necessity in a ceserean section and so therefore when it didn't happen on the first try like we all thought it would, it was another small delay. Dr. C is the head of anesthesia over at the hospital and so I'm not really sure of why it took quite so long or why I had to endure a few unnecessary pokes at my spinal column. He did eventually ask if I and worked out during my pregnancy because my back was very muscular. Since I did work out this seemed like a feasible reason for the amount of time it was taking.  That or he was just trying to keep me from freaking out.

After a few hundred pokes at my back, my mood went from upbeat and ready to just worn out.  The feeling was not pleasant and I was ready to head home and come back a different day to try.  Fortunately that was not an option.  After a few tears and deep breaths and the sweet nurse hands that I almost squeezed off, we were ready.  Except for the small fact that Dr. B was now delivering another baby somewhere in the hospital.  Apparently spinals only last for so long because after Dr. C repeatedly asked a nurse or someone to call Dr. B to begin, he finally got on the phone and called him, himself.  He was pretty demanding and it made me happy he was my anesthesiologist that morning.  100+ pokes and all.  Finally, Dr. B came running into the room a few minutes later and apologized, talking about another woman's baby crowning.  I know she needed help, but at this point I was beyond ready and so were you.

Your c-section was hard.  My blood pressure dropped twice.  I was scared.  While I'm sure I was never in any real danger, your blood pressure dropping while you are laying on an operating table is not a very pleasant experience in fact it is downright scary.  I felt like there as an elephant on my chest and I couldn't breathe.  Thankfully, Dr. C was on it and brought it right back up.

And right after that scare is when you arrived.  Dr. B said it's a big baby girl.  The first thing I remember was you were quiet.  That freaked me out more than a little.  I remember praying, please let her cry, please let her cry, then asking out loud "why isn't she crying?"  While your other two siblings came out very loud, you were very quiet.  However, a few seconds later you were crying and it was the sweetest sound I  had ever heard.  It was at that point I was able to breathe again.  Your cry wasn't a scream or a wail, but the daintiest, little girl cry.  I was in love, and upon hearing your first cry I grew a 3rd heart that I knew right, then and there I would forever wear on the outside of my chest forever.

After they cleaned you up, they brought you over so I could see you.  You were gorgeous and so pink!  Everyone in the room commented on your beautiful coloring.  Apparently not all newborns have that gorgeous coloring.  You were amazing and so beautiful and LOVED.  After a few minutes the nurses and your dad took you down to nursery.  Your dad carried you and apparently posted a picture of you on Facebook, before he made it down to the waiting room.  Needless to say people on the world wide web saw you, before the people who were camped out in the waiting room waiting a very long time to meet you.  They were not happy as you can imagine when they saw you on Facebook first.  Oh technology and the world we live in today, I can't  imagine what it will be like by the time you are having your babies.

When I was finally sewn back up they wheeled me to recovery, that is where I finally got to hold you for the first time.  And I could not get over how incredibly gorgeous you really were.  Don't tell your brother and sister, but you were the most beautiful newborn baby.  We stayed in recovery a long time.  My uterus had to be manually contracted back down and sweet girl that is a more unpleasant feeling than your blood pressure dropping during surgery.  When we finally had a green light to head to our room we had to wait on transport.  At this point I believe it was close to 2pm in the afternoon.  Your brother and sister had been waiting in our room for over an hour to meet you.

Your Mimi came back to recovery to see what was going on after picking up the other two tikes.  And believe it or not when we were finally able to leave recovery, she is the one who wheeled you from the recovery room to our room.  I'm pretty sure that is not standard hospital policy, but even my nurse was tired of us waiting at this point.  Finally we arrived and you were introduced to the chaos that became your new life.  It took your older siblings one second for the squeals and excitement to kick in.  They had been so excited and could not wait to meet you.  We even had a cake and presents and sang Happy Birthday to you for the first time.  They were just a touch excited.  You had several visitors awaiting your arrival that morning. Your Mimi, Poppa, Poppy Greg, Aunt Lei Lei, Nanny, Aunt Jamie, Aunt Katey, Memaw and Pepaw were there.  And you had so many visitors in and out the next few days to see you.  Everyone wanted to see you and hold you and love on you.

So that my sweet girl is the story of how you arrived....that is your birth story.  It's a story about how you entered the world and our family and changed 4 lives for the better.  It's your story and I can't wait to tell it to you year after year.

I love you my sweet Margot.  Happy Birthday sweet baby girl.


Friday, July 8, 2011

What a difference a year makes....or 6 for that matter!

One year ago on the 4th of July we took this picture....

this year we took this one....

 Life is constantly chaning and boy does it change FAST.  A year ago, we were missing one tiny human in that picture.  She had not even made her presence into this world.  Yet to make her mark on our family.  Amazing isn't it.  The whole process.  That is nine months time, you can make one of these...

 And that in a single year she will become this....a talking little thing with a personality out of this world.  Always smiling, always happy, but oh so demanding and tough.

It really is incredible.  Six years ago this past May, Josh and I stood on the porch steps of St. Mary's Assumption and took this photograph. 

Then six years ago this very month we decided to start a family.  We were newlyweds and old enough to begin a family, but we had no idea how much it would change us.  How much we would grow, and how quickly it would all happen.  These past six years have been some of the most incredible years of my life.  So much change in what appears to be such a very short time....but enough time to turn the two of us into this...

And I have to is simply amazing.  I'm not sure where the next six years will take us.  However, I do know, that we don't plan on adding anymore to our brood.  In fact if we do, it will be nothing short of a miracle.  A miracle that will cause me to visit my OB and question his knot tying techniques.  But to think that we created these guys is a miracle in and of itself!  And for these tiny three little miracles, Josh and I could not be more grateful.  I just wish they would stay this little.