There is a reason she was last and not first

Thursday night was rather eventful here.  At 1am, we made the infamous call to my mom to please rush over to stay with the tikes so I could head to labor and delivery.  Why?  Not because of contractions or because my water broke, no, not that at all.  That would have been a blessing.  No, we headed to labor and delivery because I was most positive I was suffering from yet another kidney stone. 

You know, now that I think about it, I don't even think I mentioned that at 16 weeks pregnant with the caboose I passed and caught a kidney stone WITHOUT pain medication.   Oh yes I did internets, and I will tell you it was some kind of painful!  I awoke that morning thinking I had the worse UTI known to man, so I headed to my ob's office where I did a urine analysis.  Upon receiving those results my ob told me that he didn't think it was a UTI, but there was so much blood in my urine he was convinced it was another kidney stone and that I needed to head to my urologist and dear friend's husband's office.  So on my way there I stopped in the restroom in my ob's office where I cried in pain as I passed a few fragments of a stone.  I tried calling my husband and when I couldn't get him, I called my friend whose husband is my urologist and told her where I was and that I was dying and to call 911 to let them know that there was a pregnant lady in the waiting room bathroom who was going to die trying to get to the urology department.  I can be very dramatic.  She hung up with me to get help and thankfully my husband called back and came and got me otherwise I am sure I would have sent many a woman into early labor as they saw my corpse laying on the bathroom floor.  When I got to urology, they gave me a cup to give another urine analysis and believe it or not, I caught the little fucker in the cup.  I did, I swear.  Do you know how hard it is to catch a kidney stone...or how very hard it is to pass them with pain meds.  I'm not sure why I didn't tell you this story, but it happened.  And for the record I'm telling it now, so that there will be no "Mom you are so making this up!" when Margot is 16 and giving me some sob story, it is now officially on record.

Anyway back to Thursday night, I had the right back-sided pain that normally accompanies a kidney stone, trouble using the potty and then just lots of pain.  Of course the trouble using the potty came first, and with previous stones, it is normally in reverse.  Back pain, then trouble with the potty, then the crying, kicking and screaming.  But even though they weren't in the usual order, I still had all the symptoms.  I knew there wasn't much anyone was going to do for me over the phone without a urine analysis, so after trying to wait it out, the pain became so intense and then contractions started, that I had Josh call labor and delivery and they instructed us to come on in. 

We got there at 1:30am and the first thing I did was pee in a cup.  They then came in and gave me an iv for fluid and iv pain meds.  Thankfully those little meds worked immediately and like a charm.  Every three to four hours they came back to give me a few more.  I was delirious from pain and from the medicine so my memory is pretty fuzzy.

At 6:30am the ob on call from the night came in to ask if I was still in pain, which I was and to let me know that urology would be in to see me soon.  Josh had heard somewhere around 5am that my urine was clear, he then texted our friend, my urologist, to let him know he would be consulted that morning and what was going on.   At 7:30, my urologist came in to give me some of the best and worst news of the day.  I'll start with the best, my urine was clear, no blood, which meant in all likelihood it was not a kidney stone.  I was elated, because if there was no stone, that meant that the little sucker would not have to work itself out.  The only way to know for sure was a CT scan which isn't very good for the caboose so I opted not to do one, he along with Josh agreed with that decision.  The bad news was it was most likely the caboose's positioning that was causing the pain. 

She is so low and sitting on my bladder, blocking me from being able to potty which in turn in causing my kidney lots and lots of discomfort.  Yes, my caboose is now my very own kidney stone.  Like I said, there is  a reason she is my last born and not my first, because she would very well be my only.

Around 8:30am, the new ob taking over came in and she asked how I was doing.  I filled her in on my urologist's theory of the pain.  She then checked me and said without even getting to my cervix, she felt the baby's head, she was that low.  She also agreed with his theory or diagnosis of the pain.  The very bad part is there is absolutely nothing anyone can do for me, except prescribe me pain meds.  Because, pain due to her positioning is not a reason to take a baby early by c-section.  The on call ob wanted to keep me another night to monitor my pain, make sure I didn't go into early labor and also make sure no other kidney stone symptoms did appear, since we weren't a 100% sure.  I agreed reluctantly, when I found out they wouldn't just get the caboose out of me and off my bladder I just wanted my bed and a good cry.

Josh then called my ob who was at home with the day off, after talking to him, and the fact that I had learned they were putting me on a clear liquid diet, I decided going home was the much better option.  So at 11am, we headed home.  Friday was touch and go, I took my pain meds every 4-6 hours as recommended and when I decided to wait until 7 hours it was miserable.  That night was also rough, I awoke at 2:30am with that severe right sided back pain and could not get any urine out.  The pain was unbearable and indescribable.  I woke up my husband who gave me my pain meds, rubbed my back and comforted me and all  my delusional thoughts.  At 3am, I decided it was best to break down and cry about how I was failing the caboose as a mother before she was even here, because I couldn't withstand the pain.  I was taking drugs, that although were deemed safe for her, I wasn't convinced was entirely true.  I mean medication affects us all differently.  Yes, I had a mini mental breakdown, but my husband was once again my rock and talked me off that ugly ledge I was standing on and made it all better. 

Saturday I took it easy all day.  Josh was Mr. Mom, he took the kids to a birthday party that morning, then swimming at my mom's that afternoon, he and my mom served them lunch and dinner while I lounged around.  Then after dinner he decided to wear himself and the kids thoroughly out and took them for another swim.  That night we all came home and tuckered right out.  I got through the night with no pain and no breakdowns and I am proud to say I didn't take any pain meds today.  Thankfully my little stone has eased off of my bladder some and though I am not completely comfortable, I am much better and able to make it without pain medication.

So yes, little caboose, there is a reason you are my last baby.  Your pregnancy has  been a whirlwind adventure.  Between the morning sickness, they placental cysts, the kidney stone, the possible broken ankle, the fall that went with that ankle, the uti, the headaches, the pain at my previous c-sections scar and now the constant feeling of a  bladder infection and kidney stone, I am counting my blessings that I only have 2 weeks and 1 day left of being pregnant with you.  And by all means if you decide to go ahead and break my water and come a little early I WILL NOT hold that against you, but I'm betting you will stay in until July 13th even though you are physically trying to push yourself out now.  I mean if you drop any lower without me going into labor or my water breaking, I will be walking around with your head hanging out and that would be just gross.

Love you my caboose....Oh how I love you!

A letter to the caboose about her dad

Dear Caboose,

In less than 4 weeks (3 weeks and 4 days to be exact) you will make your arrival via c-section.  I cannot wait, but am terrified and not ready at the same time!  I mean who really wants to be 9 months pregnant in June....the heat index yesterday 114.  I kid you not....feel the love my child!  Anyway as much as I am over being pregnant with the multiple middle of the night bathroom trips, the swollen feet and ankles, the fact that shirts are now riding up over my belly and nothing fits, the toting of the extra 30 pounds and my newest complaint the burning and severe lower abdominal pain around my previous c-sections scars and constant feeling that at any second you are going to fall right out...I love being pregnant with you.  Although I'm no fool.... taking care of you in my belly is a  hell of a lot easier than taking care of you outside, and I do get more sleep with you inside. But yes, even though you are easier to take care of inside, I am ready for you to come on out and meet the rest of the family.

Here are some things I want you to know....You are my baby, you are the one that I had to talk your dad into....although he gives in to most things I want pretty easily, so it wasn't hard at all.  In fact I think the conversation went like this...."I think I want a third baby."  "Well I'm pretty happy with two, but if you want three okay."   See, he's super easy, I'm sure you will figure out the tricks one day to get what you want too.  And I think it was so easy because deep down, he really secretly wanted a third baby too.  I'll be honest when we were dating I told him I definitely wanted three and possibly even 4.  He told me he would think about 1, but was definitely not doing 4.  Well look where we are now....I'm so glad that he loves me so damn much.  Although I asked about the possibility of you getting a little brother or sister one day and he said absolutely not.  That's the other thing with your dad....he has limits, don't push him past them.....and you will know what those limits are.  Three kids is his limit.

But you caboose, along with Meredith and Noah, are damn lucky.  You have been blessed with one of the greatest dads in the world.  He occasionally works very long hours and lots of late nights and weekends when he is on call, but when he's not he tries to be home in time for dinner and to spend some time with you all.  He leaves earlier to start earlier to get home earlier.  And when he comes home he hangs up one hat to put on another and do that job even better than the first.  He walks in and the first thing he does is kiss me and the tikes hello, gushes about how much he missed us and then he asks about you.  He asks what he can help with around the house like dinner and then if there isn't grass to be cut, trash to be taken out, a fire to put out in the kitchen, a dishwasher to be unloaded, he will get right down on the ground and start playing.

After playtime he helps your sister and brother set the table and when we are finished eating he clears the table and does the dishes while I sit with my swelling feet up.  We then play some more or talk about our days and before you know it, it is bath and bed time.  We used to rotate bath nights, but because you have made it increasingly difficult to lean over the tub to bathe the tikes, he has now taken over that duty as well.  Once everyone is tucked tight into bed, I climb into mine.  He then retires to his office to finish up office work he left undone to get home earlier, but he also picks up the house, sometimes does a little laundry, folds laundry I didn't get to and multiple other things I take for granted.  Not to mention refill my water glass a million times a night so I don't have to.  I'm spoiled.

Before he comes to bed he lets the dog out once more, checks on the tikes to make sure they are snuggled in for the night and then crawls into bed feeling like his day is not long enough and he hardly got anything accomplished.  If he only knew how accomplished a man and father he is.  There isn't anyway he could be a more hands on father or a better father.  He has worries and work and deadlines, but we always see his happy face as Meredith would say.  He hardly ever raises his voice and has more patience than anyone I have ever met.   Now I'm not saying he won't get mad at you or correct you....because he will....I'm just saying you are lucky because he normally has a more rational and productive ways of handling things than your very dramatic mother.

So Margot, even though you won't be able to coo and look into your daddy's eyes this weekend, I just wanted you to know how special he is on your first father's day with him.  He is a hell of a guy and you are so blessed along with Meredith and Noah to have his as your daddy.  And I am even more blessed to have him as my husband and  partner through this journey in parenthood and life.

"Happy Father's day Joshua! From me and the tikes!"

Love,
mandi

Getting ready for Margot!

As hard as it is for me to believe, the caboose will be here in exactly five weeks tomorrow!  I am 34 weeks here.  Besides this picture below there is no way to prove by photographic evidence that I was ever pregnant with her.  So enjoy, because I promise no others!  I have gained approximately 25lbs at this point.  Which is way less than I did with the other two.  Perhaps it is due to the fact that I am still going to the gym regularly or eating a little bit healthier.....no not really....it must be the gym.  And I am eating less than I did with the others....not healthier....just less.  And I am also chasing two tikes around this time.  So enjoy this belly picture, like I said it will probably be the only one you see.

Margot's room is also finished.  I promise to take some pics and post them soon.  I have her car seat, still in the box, but I have it.  I also have a few gowns to bring with me along to the hospital and a going home outfit.  Other than that, not to much is done.  But hey, it's a third child I figured we would wing it.  Although buying some diapers to have at home when we bring her home may be nice.  And we may need to pick up a few other things for her to wear, since I cannot find any of Meredith's clothing she wore the first year of her life.  I have no clue, we have combed through the attic and came up with nothing. 

This weekend though I got a bug up my butt to cook some meals to freeze for after she arrived.  Round here in Southern Mississippi, your church normally brings you food for months, but we aren't baptist or Presbyterian....we are Catholic....and in true Catholic fashion they only bring you over a 6 pack to celebrate the birth of your child.  I'm kidding, but catholics aren't big on the meal thing. 

I'm not saying that no one will bring us food....my friends and mom are great and have already told us they will keep us from dying of starvation.  So these meals are for after those are gone and I am too tired and have one of those days that I can't locate my head much less plan and cook a meal.  These are some frozen chicken casseroles that I can pull out the freezer, whip in the oven and voila'!  Dinner is served. 

I have to admit my fabulous husband helped me out and without him I probably couldn't have done it.  We tagged team cooking and taking care of the kids and then he did all of the packaging and clean up!  God I love that man!

So here is my day of cooking...I'm more of a chef than a photographer so use your vivid imagination.  Here are most of the ingredients for my 6 chicken casseroles!

And here is 6lbs of chicken, cleaned and cubed and ready for cooking.  I'm really picky about chicken, I cut out all the veins and other funky stuff so this is really a product of blood, sweat and tears...and it's probably only 4lbs of chicken now.

And here is the mess I had going on over on my stove.  Okay so they are empty....remember we talked about using your imagination....now is the time.  I couldn't really cook and take pictures.

But I did get a little braver as the cooking continued....and here is one of the actually food being prepared.

And then to prove the world's greatest husband helped....here he is cooking.

And here is another picture of the work in progress.  The children are occupied at the table with donuts.

And because I didn't take one of the finished product with my good camera...I was just way too tired at that point....here is the final product with the phone camera!

6 chicken dishes...2 chicken/broccoli casseroles, 2 poppy seed chicken casseroles, and 2 chicken tetrazzinis.

Where I'm at...

Here goes some rambling because honestly I've got nothing for you.  I'm feeling better....better, not great.  I'm still sluggish and throw up every other day to every three days.  That's great, but not at all would be so much better.  I still get  nauseated daily, but not getting sick.  Which means I'm gaining weight, I know, now I'm throwing up and gaining weight.  4lbs in a month!  4lbs!  I would like to blame it on the muscle gain since I've started back regularly at the gym, but I'm going to go with it has to do with all the shit I have been eating since I've gotten an appetite back and am not worshipping the porcelain gods!

Now if I could only do something about the extreme fatigue.  You would think officially being in my second trimester I wouldn't be not so tired. I think working out at the gym kicks my ass at night.  Although I feel great doing it and right after, I am exhausted by about 4:30.  Maybe it's the gym and the tikes that wear me down.  Hell they wore me down before I was preggers, now I'm really dragging ass!  I know, I'm not winning mother of the year award lounging on the couch.  On a good note, I have started cooking again.  The kids are happy.  They hate to eat out.  Or they don't eat out.  We buy them extravagantly priced chicken nuggets for them to waste, but if I cook at home they gobble it down.  So back to cooking it's been.

The kids are great.  Busy, but great.  Noah started mother's day out 2 days a week....he LOVES it.  He loves to ask continuously "what dat noise?"  And whenever you ask him why?  He responds with "Because said so!"  He also wants to "wide in big twuck momma!"  He says that when he sees any 18 wheeler, garbage truck or any other larger truck on the road.  When I try and explain that he can't he gets really upset and cries.  Then he ask "wanna touch twuck momma!"  He is very verbal, he knows what he wants and he tells you what he wants.  Listening to him working on forming sentences warms my heart, you can tell he is the child of a "speech teratist!"  He generally is a very good child, he listens well, he shares when told with tears, but he shares.  He doesn't get into too much trouble, but he is busy.  BUSY, BUSY, BUSY!  He never sits still, well except for when he fell asleep on the hard wood floor in front of the tv which had one of the daily soap operas on.  Is that it, soap opera?  I think I called them soap bops when I was little.  Hell I don't know, I don't watch them, this one just happen to be on and he was too tired to ask me to put toons on instead.

Meredith is Meredith.  Serious as ever.  At night she plays Dr. B.  The girl one, because my Dr. B, the boy one who is the ob, is married  to her Dr. B, the girl one who is the pediatrician.  Did you get that?  The Dr. B's are married, the boy an ob, the girl a pediatrician.  I refer to them as girl and boy, because that's what she does.  They are really man and woman, with 4 of their own busy tikes!  Anyway every night she is Dr. B, the girl one, however she delivers the baby in this scenario, like the boy one does in real life.  So I lay on the couch, sofa, floor, wherever she tells me while she checks my vitals and then the Margot's, then she yells " Call the AMBULANCER" (yes I said ambulancer, isn't it cute!) and then she starts shouting things like "Don't worry, Ms. Mandi....I'M GONNA GET THAT BABY OUT!"  Yes, I am very worried when my 3 1/2 year old shouts things like that.  How can you not worry?  I'm thinking she might be a surgeon one day....she has absolutely no bed side manners.  She is also pregnant right now.  Yes, she is also carrying a girl baby, who she has named Girl Tate.  It's more of a double first name then a first and middle name.  Every morning I hear...."Momma your belly is getting so big!"  And I thank her for noticing those 4lbs I put on this month.  Then she retorts with "well look at mine it's getting so big too!  Don't you think?"  So then I comment on her every growing belly.  She is seriously too much, her imagination is awesome.  I love it!

Speaking of growing belly, today a few ladies in my circuit training class noticed the baby bump.  It is there.  I was 17 weeks with Meredith before I showed.  I'm still wearing all of my own jeans and shirts.  Although the bump is totally there.  I mean it is hard to hide it in yoga pants and a tight fitting yoga shirt.  Oh well, I'm preggers right.  

So there you go internets, that's where I'm at.....what about you?  What's going on?

What was I thinking...

Last night as I laid in bed very nauseated after having thrown up my dinner, bathed two kiddos and got them in bed I started thinking about what the hell I was thinking when I decided to get pregnant again????

I mean yes, I do what a third little tike, but pregnancy just wasn't on my agenda.  It's amazing how short a mother's memories are.  The morning sickness, which was really bad with my other two tikes, with Meredith being the worst, is so much worse this time.  Why didn't I think of that when Josh and I were trying for this baby????

Or the weight I will gain. I'm not one of those ladies that only gains the 24-30 recommended lbs.  No I gain well over 40 with both of mine.  And then with Meredith I had so much fluid intake during her delivery do to complications I came home weighing more than when I went in.  I remember crying...."but she was 6lbs 9oz, I should of at least lost that much!!!!"  But no things don't work like that.  I didn't remember that either until that little stick had two lines.

I think I got to celebrate my pregnancy for one week before the gloom and doom started. I mean I have thrown up every day for the past 5 or 6 weeks.....I know be jealous, very jealous.

But the reason I was thinking I wanted to get pregnant came to me as I ran up stairs to comfort my 3 1/2 year old who was having a nightmare and who I tucked all snugly into my bed.  Then as soon as she was down had to run back up to grab my handsome little man who was also crying because his sister's nightmare woke him up. As I watched my two little tikes sleeping peacefully snuggled in my bed, I was thinking that it really doesn't matter what you go through in those 9 months leading up to the point of meeting your newest miracle.   The only thing that matters is the end results which is worth it all.  Even that dreaded c-section.  

So little caboose, I can't promise not to bitch and moan the next 7 months or even question my sanity or reason behind getting preggers, but I will tell you this.....deep down I know exactly why I did it, because you are worth it.  And on that morning in July I won't remember one bit of this.....morning sickness or anything.  Can't wait to meet you my little caboose!

Top 10 things that Bite about pregnancy!

Before I start, let me just say that I am 36+ weeks pregnant and I am at a point where I can complain! I have gained 36lbs and carry around a 24lb toddler in addition to the 36 I have been carrying around. So let me vent if you will. I know being pregnant is wonderful and I can't wait to meet my new bambino, sometimes I just wish Josh would grow a uterus!!!!

Top 10 things that really bite about pregnancy!

10. Gaining weight --- let's face it, who likes to gain weight.... No ONE! If you say you do you are lying! But we have to gain it for the baby, still it isn't fun!

9. Weight check at every appointment --- umm yeah, I can totally see I am getting bigger, but the reminder that I get when I walk in and have to get on the scale isn't too pleasent. And then the sweet little nurse likes to talk about it, like you didn't already know you put on 5lbs in a week. thanks!

8. Stretch Marks --- knock on wood, I didn't have them with Meredith and don't yet with this pregnancy, but it is still a fear! Every morning I try to look to see if I see any, that isn't easy!

7. Outgrowing clothes faster than a toddler --- everyone says oh don't buy anymore you only have a few weeks left and then you start thinking that too, ummm last time I checked going around naked wasn't an option, so really if you want to wear something you have to buy new ones especially at the end when nothing fits!

6. Swollen feet --- it doesn't come until the end, but when it happens UGH! I mean they hurt, they are ugly, they hurt and they are UGLY! and the worst part is, they don't immediately go back down when you deliver. It takes a few weeks!

5. The Glucose test --- it is easy for my male Ob/gyn to say it isn't that bad, why? because he has NEVER HAD TO DO IT! Let's face it, it taste like shit! and it makes you want to vomit and if you do vomit or take longer than 5 minutes to drink the awful concoction, you get to drink another one!

4. Hemorrhoids & Constipation--- I wasn't going to go here, but if we are being honest - let's be honest!

3. Getting Checked --- Ah one of my favorites. Why do we get checked each week from 36 weeks on..... it is painful, uncomfortable, not real fun or easy to get undressed and redressed in the Ob's office and honestly it really doesn't tell me much. I hear of women being dilated for 3cm for weeks, or women who weren't dilated and their water broke (that's me!) I mean what is the point and did I mention that it hurts! Oh yes it hurts! Check me all you want when I am in labor, but when I'm not, WHAT IS THE POINT!

2. Going to the bathroom all day and night! --- No I am not talking about when you are barely showing or not at all and think you need to go to the bathroom all the time. I am talking about when that little bambino has parked his head on your bladder and it hurts so bad and you think you are going to pee on yourself all day and night, so you run to the bathroom every 5-10 minutes just to squeeze out a little tinkle! Yep that is what I'm talking about!

1. No sleep --- So we all know how easy it is to sleep with a basketball or watermelon under your tshirt right? I mean it is soooo comfortable! Try it, I encourage Josh to all the time. What it isn't comfortable, you have got to be kidding?!?!? And you toss and turn all night and get up to potty, (see #2) all night and you think --- I can't wait until this baby is here so I can sleep comfortably again.... (insert chuckle) I'm not going to tell anyone that doesn't already know that once the baby is here, you never sleep all night again! That's right, it just doesn't happen!


So there is my list, but in the end it is all worth it! So worth it! I didn't include all the fun things about going into Labor, I am going to wait until Noah is here and that way my memory is really clear and fresh!