The Saints

Let me just start off by saying "I believe!" 

I have been a Saint's fan for as long as I could remember.  Win or lose, which lose was more like it, I cheered them on and sported my black and gold.  God I love that city and that team.  Josh and I had season tickets until we moved to Mississippi, then with real jobs and babies on the way we let them go.  I am kicking myself now and I am number 70,000 on the waiting list to get them again.  Even though we still have real jobs, live far away and have a baby on the way.  Why?  Well this magical season has sparked my love for the Saints and it's been way too long since we have been to the dome yelling, "Bless you Boys!"

I didn't intend on doing a post about my Saints, I was waiting until we won the Superbowl.  However my friend Amy did one a few days ago on her blog "The saints are coming" and I had to share it.  So head on over and read it.  I love her post and her pictures.  I think it captures the true essence of a Saint's fan!

Black and Gold superbowl, that's what I want for Christmas!

Much better

This weekend was fabulous.  Did you hear me?  FABULOUS!

We packed up the car and headed out Friday afternoon with not a care in the world.  We left our two little monkeys in the very good hands of their Mimi and hit the road.  We stopped for an impromptu dinner at Ruth's Chris then continued on to our hotel.  We checked in grabbed our coats and headed to the Bay front bar complete with outdoor fire places.  I had another glass of wine and Josh had a drink himself. 

The next day we got up and played the entire day by ear.  We had a late lunch, saw a movie, shopped, went to an art walk and then did appetizers for dinner followed by late night pizza.  We slept in, we snoozed and we went about our day without a care in the world.  I remembered why I fell in love with my husband many years ago.  I realized we continue to have so much more in common than just our home and children.  We are still the crazy couple that stayed up all night on our first date talking and then watched the sunrise.  A little more sleep deprived, but that same couple indeed.

We vowed to each other not to make it so long before we take another trip just the two of us.  Then we hurried home to snuggle our babies.

Thank you Josh for being the wonderful husband and man you are.  I am very lucky you love me too!  Thanks for a fabulous weekend.

Avoidance

Dear Internets,

I've been avoiding you, yes I have in a bad way.  Trust me it's not you, so don't take it personal, it's me, all me. You know when you have that project, or test to study for, or appointment and you really just really can't even think about it.  You avoid the topic or subject or in my case blogger at all cost.  I haven't even been reading blogs until tonight.   It's sad and true.  I have no idea why.  I've actually gotten anxious and nauseous thinking about how I haven't blogged or documented milestones or told any of the cute antidotes that have happened here in the past few weeks.  And that my friends was a clear sign that it was time to step away from the computer. 

These past few days I've been feeling down and like crap.  Not depressed and no I don't need medication (not that there is anything wrong with that, I just haven't needed it).  No, just typical off days.  Days were I can't get my shit together or anyone else's.  This week alone, I lost my keys at the movies, my ipod,  my 23 month old --- oh I kid the ipod is not really missing!   But you know the days or weeks when we just can't get it together, we all have them.

I feel  like my life is constant choas and I'm always exhausted and just can't get it straight.  I'm treading water as fast as I can and I am barely staying afloat.  In fact several times this week I have been late  (GASP!)  Me, the one always early was late, more than once. 

So this weekend my husband is whisking me away to a romantic weekend on Mobile Bay.  Be jealous, it's the first time we have gone away for a weekend together since Meredith was born.  I know far too long since the last time.

I am hoping I will have time to regroup, relax and then be back, back to my old self.  Handling the daily chaos and easily staying afloat. 

I promise not to avoid you when I return.

xoxo,
2 tikes!

Empowered

Last Friday, I posted about how I went to the gym and it really kicked my ass. I am out of shape. After a week I am still majorly out of shape, but it's getting easier and I am feeling 100% better. I love to work out. I mean that. Going to the gym and dropping the kids off for a quick step class or other class is not a chore to me. It is empowering. I feel great.

Setting time aside to work out each day alone, is the first thing I have done for myself and only myself in a long time......well aside from that new Gucci purse I picked up in NYC. Seriously, this is the first time I have set aside time each day to do something for just me. Something that makes me feel better, look better and overall just boost my self esteem and self confidence. I can't believe I let 4 years go by without working out.

Granted working out also benefits my family as well. I am happier, which means my kids and husband are happier. I am in better shape and able to be in better shape for my family. It also teaches my kids to stay in shape and remain active. Not that either of them have a problem with activity right now.

I encourage all of you to get in shape, don't wait until tomorrow life is way to precious to put things off. Do something for you today, it will feel good!

4 years too many

For the past few weeks I have been on a kick where I feel the need to get back in shape. I don't know what brought this on so suddenly or urgently, because I've been talking about getting back in shape since May of 2006. It just hasn't happened, until today.

And no I didn't all of a sudden get in shape, but I started on my way. Yesterday, I loaded up the tikes and headed to one of our local gyms. The one with the old people and arthritic pool because after working out for the first time in 4 years, I knew I would feel like I had arthritis and need to relax in it. Anyway yesterday, I went down there and signed us up. Dropped the kids off in the nursery to get them used to it and then took a tour. I tell ya, that really wore me out.

Today was a different animal though. I showed up to the 20/20/20 class. 20 minutes of step/cardio, 20 minutes of upper and lower body toning, and 20 minutes of abs. Holy Shit! I thought I was going to die and there the old lady next to me was hanging in there like a pro. I on the other hand gave it my all and honey I was wiped out. It was a damn good workout, I will definitely be at that class on Fridays from here on out.

The kids also did great, they cheered for me when I picked them up and told me they loved me. It's nice to have two adorable cheerleaders. Poor Noah also had to walk to the car because my arms hurt so bad I couldn't hold him.

It has been a little over 4 years since I have worked out like that and nothing has ever felt so good. Pre-baby body here I come!

Mother's Day 2009

Today is mother's day. I am blessed, with two beautiful children, a fabulous husband and my own wonderful mother. What else could I need on this mother's day that God hasn't already given me.

Nothing......well except for my house not to look like this when I wake up in the morning.

But even though my house did look just like that, I was woken up by the two cutest faces in the world....screaming "SAH-PWISE! Happy Mudder's Day!" And then I was given this beautiful handmade bouquet of flowers! My husband is amazing he did this with the kids. He thought of the idea, he bought the materials and then he made it with them. Well actually he and Julia's husband, Jeremy, got together and made these while we had our girl's night. They also enlisted the help of the babysitters, Carrie and their babysitter Emily. I heard it was a wild time. I couldn't have been more thrilled with this gift, I will cherish it always. The kids were very proud of their work and I was very proud of their dad's.


So today we headed to Mimi's house to spend the day in the sun and cool off in the pool. We were very sad Mimi and Poppa weren't there to swim with us, but their pool sure was fun!


Noah loves the water and is a little fish!

Meredith was happy to spend the day with her new neighbor and best friend Grace. The girls had a lot of fun.

This mother's day was very low key and very relaxing. Thank you Josh, I love you so much!

A much needed break

On Thursday after our Thanksgiving lunch with family all of the ladies in my family packed our stuff into the car and headed to the beach. We met up with several other women in the family and caravaned to Destin, Florida. We stayed for two nights in a condo and had a blast. We shopped and ate and laughed and reminisced. It was so much fun. This was the first trip I took without my children, it was long overdue. I will not lie I missed Meredith's smile and constant gibber jabber, I missed Noah's cuddles and silly grin. I missed the tons of hugs and kisses and love yous that they were at home giving their dad, but I really enjoyed my girls weekend.

When I got home I was greeted with a huge hug from Meredith and she didn't want me to put her down for about 20 minutes. When Noah awoke I got him out of his crib and he hugged me so tight and just held onto me with a firm grasp not wanting me to let him go. It felt awesome to be missed.

I also missed my husband so much and he also greeted me with a big hug and kiss along with folded laundry, a clean house, a clean kitchen, dinner on the stove, no dishes in the sink, and two kids who had been well taken care of.

I know why I love this man and married this man and then he does stuff like this and makes me fall in love with him all over again. Thanks Josh for taking care of the kids and the house and giving me a weekend away...I love you.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Today I am so thankful for my family. I could not have been blessed with a more wonderful husband or two more fabulous tikes! Yes, I have a lot to be thankful for.

Enjoy your turkey day and when I return from my girl's weekend, I will be back to blogging. My first weekend with no children, I know I should be thankful my husband has pushed me to go on this trip and volunteered to do the solo parenting, but I'm nervous to leave them and afraid of how much I will miss them.

So I will see you all Saturday!

Taking turns

Yes, the last two days have been all about taking turns. It has been a long time coming and long over due, but we did it. And no taking turns has nothing to do with the kids. Josh and I took turns the past two days spending the whole day with friends without one another and without kids doing things we enjoy. I went shopping....I know....get a hobby. Josh went tailgating and to Monday night football to see dem Saints!

I think we may do this more often, maybe even together....look at us getting wild and crazy!

Sweet Sounds

Dear Meredith & Noah,

Tonight I am listening to the sweet sounds of you two humming yourselves to sleep. I can always tell when you are headed to dreamland, you both hum. It is one of the sweetest sounds ever. I'm sitting here surfing the web, avoiding the disaster of a kitchen below waiting for each of you to enter into a peaceful slumber. Good night little tikes.

Love,
Momma

The world we live in

Dear Meredith and Noah,

As I sit here tonight watching World News Tonight, I worry. I worry about the future of our country and most importantly your future. I often think....what have I done, bringing children into this world knowingly and then I think maybe you are exactly what the world needs. Yes, you are what the world needs, but it doesn't stop the worry. The country is in trouble, financially. Big trouble. People are losing their homes, losing their jobs and probably losing their minds. The news reports that some people have resorted to living in their cars and that we are in a recession. I pray for these things, I pray that with the election of President Obama we soon have change. Yes, we need change. I hope that when you are older the country's economy is back on the upswing. I hope that we are able to send you to college and help you earn a degree. I hope that degree helps you to earn a job to support your family. I hope that things are better by then.

I lay at night and worry myself sick and then I pray. I pray that above all else God takes care of you and all the other children in the world. Because you are the future.... all of you. I just wanted to let you know what was going on in the country today, what times are like. And though they aren't severe yet and not all Americans are feeling the crisis, I'm afraid things are headed that way. And so I pray.

Love,

Momma

The blog

Dear Meredith and Noah,

I am sure that when you are all grown up you may wonder "what the hell I was thinking" when you realize that I took intimate moments and milestones in your life and published them on the wide world web for the whole word to see it. I promise you this though, the whole world is not reading it. Not even close. But yes I am sure one day you may want to know why.

I would lie and say I am doing it all for you, well I am, but also for me too. I love to write, I think I could have been a journalist if I wanted to, but at 18 I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and so now I am trying on many different hats and seeing what fits well. This is one of those hats. I don't get paid to write it, hell only about 100 people even read it, but to me that is pretty impressive. So writing this blog is an outlet and letting me reach a dream of being a journalist. Even if it is only your lives I am chronicling. Believe it or not, people are very into your lives or into my writing. Either way I am doing it for you. Like many blogger friends of mine, I am slurping the blog into a book. In fact I have already done the first year. I titled it The Beginning...how deep. This way you know all about your childhood even the mundane things that happen as well as the pretty exciting things. I would have loved to read a book like this, I am hoping you will one day too.

But here are some things you may wonder about this blog....

Between 80-100 people read your blog daily.

We have 3 followers...I think that means they read it through blogger.

We are listed on several other blogs as blogs they read.

We are saved in some peoples favorites.

Lots of people Google your blog daily to get here, I wonder if they know it can be added to the favorites and save them the trouble.

Some read the blog through some sort of blog reader.

Some stumble upon it from funny things they Google. Want to hear a few....

"an intergalactic emergency"

"clap, clap, clap your hands"

"red nail polish+hooker" yeah kind of wish they weren't reading the blog

"toy story party"

"bringing home my baby bumblebee"

"father daughter relationships"

"toy story cakes"

"wiggles concerts"

"potty training and pull ups"

There are people all over this country reading it, as well as some from other countries as well. Yes I wrote all about your babyhood and childhood on a blog, you can send me any therapy bills due to this. I'm hoping you won't mind and I am sure by the time you are old enough to read this, blogs will be a thing of the past.

Love,
your crazy blog addicted mother

The Women

If you get the chance to grab some girl friends and see "The Women" than do it! I went last night with some friends and it was great. A real girly flick, one you definitely have to see with women and one every woman should see. The whole theatre was laughing out loud, well except for then one man that was dragged there by his significant other. He didn't laugh or even watch the show, he texted throughout the whole movie. I felt bad for him. But it was a really great movie and there was not one man in it, it just proves that women can run this country without men. Okay so it doesn't do that, but women so could run the country....absolutely could.

My kids also had a great time, Miss Carrie came to watch them since Josh was on call. Meredith told me she had so much fun with Miss Carrie and was looking for her this morning. She was heartbroken when I told her Carrie went home last night. I'm hoping Carrie had fun too. Neither tike cried when I left last night and they were both peacefully asleep when I got home. Carrie was amazed how easily they went to bed, me too. I know they normally do that for me, but sometimes they give other people trouble. However they did great, which means Josh and I will be getting some more date nights in soon!

Well have a great Saturday, I just sent Josh and the kids to pick up some fast food breakfast while I chill in my bed....it's shaping up to be a great Saturday.

Thanks Susan & peacelovemom!

I just wanted to thank Susan at Friday Playdate again! As well as PeaceLoveMom for my awesome t-shirt! Thanks ladies!

A visit with my buddy!

Today Meredith's friend Ian and his family came over to visit and have dinner. They moved about an hour away from here in January. I was heartbroken and so was Meredith. She was used to seeing Ian each week! And she asked for him everyday for about a month after their move. She still calls little boys with blond hair "E" wherever we go. It was so good to see them, but it was really great to see Meredith play with her old pal "E". She loves E or Ian (the name his parents gave him, but Meredith is good at making up new ones.) Anyway these two have been friends for a very long time. Well since they were born. Have you seen that commercial were the moms are eating on the sofa and talking about how great the playdate is and how the kids are really loving it and then you see them sleeping in their infant carriers? Well that was Meredith and Ian. They have been having playdates since before they can remember and Caryn and I have always loved them.

Today Meredith got to show Ian her new slide and Ian got to show Meredith his bwuda - who is so adorably chunky! They also played in the toy room and ran around acting "silly." Caryn and I also got to catch up while the guys ran errands and picked up food. It was fun, we really miss them! And we are so bummed that Ty and Noah will not have all those quality infant seat playdates! I miss ya Caryn!

Ian and Meredith January 2007

Ian and Meredith last month! I think they look a little different!

half assed

That is how I feel today. My kids are not sleeping, my house is a mess, my head is pounding.....Ever have a day where you just do not feel like doing anything. In fact it is a struggle to get up in the morning. A day where you just want to lay around and watch the mess around you multiply, yep it is one of those days.

I imagine when I had these days and I was working full time, pre tikes, I just went in and did what I had to do to get by and done with my day. I imagine I did therapy with the kids and made sure they worked on something remotely close to their speech goals, but it was not the best I could do. Yeah I remember having a few of those days. And there were even some days I called in sick....a mental health day. Then some days I was on top of my game and squeezed in language and articulation exercises every second they were in the room with me. On those days I was a top notch therapist.

Well at home things are different, there are no sicks days, no mental health days, no one cares if I do the job at all, much less how well I do it. I am my own boss. I guess my husband may care, but since I am the CEO of this household and he is only the VP my business decisions trump his. Seriously I can lay around and do nothing and I will not get fired. I mean I do have to change diapers and feed kids and make sure they do not harm themselves or one another. But I do not have to be the world's greatest mom today. I can let her watch a little too much Elmo or let him swing in the swing a little too long (as long as he is content) and I can do an easy lunch and snack compared to a more healthy one that requires a little more out of me.

I can let the laundry pile up and the dishes in the sink. I can pretend not to see the mess that I have walked over all day and I can ignore the clothes that are falling off of dressers and need desperately to be put away. Yeah I can do all those things, only thing is it will all be here for me tomorrow. So blog, I am leaving now to get to work. I have a lot to do and really I want to play with my kids.....the laundry and dishes may wait....right now Meredith asked to "nuggle". Productivity after all!

Oh yes he did...

I honestly cannot believe he did it either.......

So the other morning my tikes slept late, and by late I mean 8:30am. That is late... that is sleeping in... that is a LUXURY... that is unheard of in this house.... especially both of my tikes at the same time. But it is true the did, in fact it was Tuesday morning. Noah had slept all night and he woke up at 5:30am and nursed and then went right back to bed. Ahhhh the luxury, he is normally up for good at 6am, so yes it was a luxury indeed. It would have been really nice if I were able to enjoy this luxury, but I did not get the chance. Why???

My husband woke me up at 7:15am to ask me if his shirt matched his pants. Oh, yes he did. I wanted to scream, I wanted to ring is neck! I wanted to knock his lights out. He had on khaki dockers, the same color that he wears most mornings and a brownish colored, striped shirt..... for God's sake it was close enough. Not to mention he dresses himself every morning and if I am up I may occasionally say...."honey, that does not exactly go, you may want to rethink your shirt choice" but for the most part he does it all on his own! If he was unsure about his color selection this particulary morning that his wife and children were all still sleeping at the same time, he could have chosen one of the other dozen or so shirts of the same style hanging in his closet!!!!

But under NO circumstances has he or should he EVER wake me up out of a dead sleep in the morning, when both of my tikes are still sleeping AT THE SAME TIME! unless of course it is a real emergency, not a fashion emergency. And that emergency better be life threatening and something that cannot be handled when everyone is awake and total chaos is running the household.

I remember laying their bewildered and thinking.....you are kidding me......you are effing kidding me......what the hell are you thinking.....you have a death wish......what in the effing hell are you thinking????

Oh yes, those are all thoughts that passed through my mind. And yes, I was mad.... very mad. And not the cute, kidding kind of mad. In fact if I had special radar eyes that could harm people, I would be collecting a big, fat life insurance policy right now. Damn husband!

If he did not learn his lesson Tuesday morning, I promise he will after reading this blog.

Thanks honey! And yes, for the most part he is a damn good husband, but on Tuesday morning he had lost all of his marbles, that or someone did a craniotomy on him while he was sleeping and removed the part of his brain that deals with logical thought processes.

my splurge!

I am addicted to this stuff.....so good. I have not introduced it to Meredith, but I did introduce it to Josh a few weeks ago. I bought one little box of the lite gourmet bites in creamy swiss and told him that they were all individually wrapped to enjoy one at a time. Not 5 or 10! That is not what they were meant for. I explained how it is all about portion control. How you have to savor the taste...it is a treat. So each day I would sneak to the fridge when two little toddler eyes were not watching and grab one. Then I could not help myself and I would go back for one or two or three or heck five or six more. Then I would delve into my delicious treat. When Josh came home and noticed how many were missing, he asked with a puzzled look"I thought you could only have 1 at a time, like a treat?" Exactly YOU can only have one at a time, me I can eat the whole damn box if I want. I keep the tikes all day. So this time around I went to Sam's and and got the 3 pack of round containers that contain the big triangles of the creamy swiss....oh melt in my mouth baby. And yes, I am sharing them with my hubby! They are fantastic on top of whole grain crackers or just by themselves. Heck you can put these little babies on anything and they would be fantastic.

Will they really know me....

I think about my mom and what I know about her and all I really know is she is my mom. I know I have heard numerous stories of her growing up, but all the stories I recall are of her being my mom. Know what I mean. So then I started thinking will my children really know me...

Will they know.... that I could spell photosynthesis in 2nd grade or that I won 1st place in the Science Fair for a paper and presentation I did on short people. That I took growth hormone to grow, will they know that. I took them for 4 years in grade school and proudly reached 5ft 2inches and without them was only projected to be 4 ft 3 inches. That I was was so short my dad only filled our 4 foot pool up half way. That my parents took me, my sister and our grandparents on a 2 week cross country road trip to California in a minivan and all I really remember is Alcatrez and China town. Or that I hated my first year of high school and would cry at night, beacause I did not want to go. That even in high school my mom would rock me when I cried.

Will they know.... that I got scholarships to 4 universities for college, but went to the only school that did not offer me one. Or that in college I wrote a paper for a literary magazine and had it published. I also recieved my first F in college and dissapointed my parents. That I lived in 6 different apartments during my 4 years in college. That somewhere in college my sister and I became friends instead of mortal enemies. Will they know that?

Will they know.... that by graduate school I straightened out and quit being so lazy as my college professors would say. That I was once engaged to someone other than their dad, but smart enough to know it would not work out and called off the wedding. Or that I met the man of my dreams while I was in grad school, their father. That one of my favorite haunts was Joe's bar, and that this is where their dad and I started dating. That the night we started talking and exchanged numbers, I hid roses that were sent to me by another guy in the beer cooler. Is this stuff they will know?

Will they know.... their dad surprised me with a trip to Disney World for my birthday while we were dating. And that their dad got down on one knee to propose to me in the rain in the city of New Orleans. That he got my father's permission before he asked me. Or that their dad and I lived together before we were married, but after we were engaged. That I wore a Vera Wang wedding dress at my wedding and never in my life felt more beautiful. That this was the 2nd dress I bought for the same wedding, and that I sold the first on the internet. That their grandmother bought me my veil and that I saved it in case they ever wanted to wear it or have their children wear it.

Will they know.... that the first house we ever bought is the same house I brought both of them home too. That together we decorated both of their rooms especially for them while we awaited their arrival. That at night their dad would read stories to them when they were in my belly and as babies and toddlers. That we have a special good night song that we sing each night. That I never worried so much in my life until I got pregnant for each of them. That I never ate cake until I got pregnant with them.

Will they know.... that being a mother was the hardest, most challenging and most fulfilling job I ever had. That I never dreamed it would be and it totally took me by surprise. Or that each night before I go to bed I pray that they will grow up to be happy and healthy and that they achieve all their dreams. And that secretly I do not want them to ever grow up and not need me.

Will they know all this about me? I hope so.

Motherhood Confessions

You know like taxi cab confessions. here are a few of mine....

- Meredith watches way more television than I would ever admit too!
- I often eat cupcakes in the pantry so she does not see me and scream cake, so she can have one too!
- I have pretended to not know she was dirty and send her off to see her daddy.
- Ketchup is definitely a vegetable in this house, as well as a staple with every meal.
- when she wants to play with a really aggravating toy, I will turn it off and say it is broke.
- I have pumped and dumped.
- My daughter went from a size 5 shoe to a size 6 1/2 and I never noticed that her shoes were too small.
- The Wiggles are my answer for any crisis, even before Dr. Sears.
- I have always shared my dinner with Meredith when she wants, but sometimes I did not want to.
- I have put her down early for naps when I just needed a break.
- I sometimes tell her the bubbles and playdoh are broke, those two activities can be quite messy.

So moms, I know you are out there......What are you Motherhood Confessions?????