The Summer....A letter of apology

Dear Children,

The summer is over and I'm not sure if I should rejoice and celebrate or cry.  It's been a summer.  Our house has been re-listed, which meant loads of cleaning and showing and this momma stressing.  Your Poppa had a really big surgery and had a very rough recovery.  It stressed me, Nanny and Mimi out.  There were ups and downs and all kinds of bumps in the road.  The good news he is home and now driving Mimi crazy while on a road to a full recovery.

So I guess those things were stressful and I admit I was a little stressed, and therefore I let your summer down.  I let you stay up late and then woke you up early for the gym.  I did fun things with you, but stayed on you correcting you like little soldiers the entire time we did the fun things. I never got into the moment.  I was always sort of removed and my mind somewhere else.  I hardly ever enjoyed or seized the moment.  I was tired and lazy.

We had our fair share of days at the pool.  We took 2 vacations, although one as shortened and rainy the entire time.  You had a lot of babysitters and days home.  You didn't seem to mind.  It was probably nice to not have me breathing down your neck yelling to keep the house orderly or stop fighting.

We skipped out on the summer reading program at the library, even though I had the best intentions and signed us all up.  We only made one trip and one event.  I didn't even get the books we checked out back on time and we never checked any out again all summer.  You still read at home though.  Meredith you read to everyone.  You did your workbooks and you painted with watercolors and you cut and glued and used all sorts of pipe cleaners.  But I always fussed about the mess.  We had movie nights, but the popcorn wasn't there.

I bought cup cake mix and lots of icing and sprinkles and declared on the first day that we were baking them on the first day off.  The mix and icing and sprinkles still sit on the pantry shelf.

We did playdates, but not as many as we normally do.  We went to the pool and we did camps, and we stayed busy.  We fit in the children's museum and waterpark, but I always felt overwhelmed.  We went to the movies and jumpy places.  We did chuck-e-cheese and maybe we did Gattitown, I really just can't remember.  We ate out a lot, like all summer and you often asked for home-cooked meals.  You spent a lot of nights with just your dad, while I sat with Mimi at the hospital.  I missed you.

I guess in a nutshell, I'm apologizing.  For being a mom who was missing from the moment this summer.  I promise to always do better.  You guys were 6,4 and 2.  I expected and demanded you act a lot older.  It wasn't fair and this Momma is sorry.

I love you guys and I'm already sad that school is back in, but I promise, come 3 o'clock I'm going to the bestest momma in the world.  And next summer....it's going to freaking ROCK!  Thanksgiving Break, Christmas Break and Spring Break too!

Love,
Momma

Freaking Shit - What he says...

My sweet Noah LOVES to talk.  Actually that may be the understatement of the year.  Talking is as necessary to Noah as breathing.  If his eyes are open he is chatting you up.  Most days I feel like I should send him to preschool with ear plugs for his teacher.  Quiet days are they days when he is absent I am told.

Yes, the boy loves to talk.  He ask a million questions a day, I used to know the answers to his questions, but lately I have to say "I don't know" or "We can look that up when we get home."  He also describes everything he sees or has experienced.  He loves to re-tell me all about his day at school and all about what he did that day and what he learned.  I love that part.  And when we play, his imagination soars and he leaves out nothing, I hear every detail about what he is imagining.  He is so descriptive it's like he is painting a picture with his words and when he describes it, I can see it perfectly.  He is inquisitive, descriptive, detailed and chatty. 

Most of my conversations with Noah are pretty entertaining.  He makes me laugh on a daily basis.  He also warms my heart on a daily basis as well.  Not a day goes by that he doesn't express sweetness towards me and his sisters.  And if you don't have a good reply for him, he will often provide you one to say.  He tends to do this alot, some might call him bossy.  He's thoughtful, caring, sensitive, a little bossy and very chatty.

Noah and I had a conversation last week about the birds and the bees that I had to actually stifle my laughs.  The conversation was a hoot, but one to be expected from my little guy.  I stifled my laughter though, because I didn't want him to think it was a funny topic, even though what he said was funny. He did not intend for it to be funny, he was quite serious.  But it was a hilarious one none the less, definitely one for the baby book.  So Noah remind me to tell you about that one, one day.  Especially since I don't know where you baby book is.  And sorry Internets, I won't share that one here, because I love my Noah and he does deserve some privacy, but I will share this gem, one about him using his favorite expression...."freaking shit."  This was an actual conversation that occured in the yukon last week while driving home from dinner.

(and finally a picture where my little man is not talking and you can tell he is barely keeping his mouth shut!)

"Noah, bud, if you talk like this all the time next year at your big school, you might get a few red lights or yellow lights."

"What's a red light?  I like red lights?  Like traffic lights?"

"No Noah, red and yellow lights are not good, they are when you are in trouble!"  scolded Meredith

""What?!?  Red lights ARE traffic lights, I love red lights!"

"No buddy, red and yellow lights mean no treasure box"

silent,thoughtful pause

"Red lights are freaking shit!"

"Well Josh I guess we should be more concerned about blue lights and phone calls home with that language!"

"Noah you can't say those things at school next  year." scolded Josh

"Nope Bud, you have to save those choice words for at home."

And in the words of Noah today was some freaking shit.  Both girls had surgery.  Both are doing great.  Thanks for the thoughts and prayers, but I'm so glad that freaking shit is over.  Hmmm, wonder where my Noah picked up that language.

Christmas Cheer

Christmas 2012

Thankfully I remembered to grab my camera and take a quick photo of us before we rushed out of the door for mass.  It's normally something I forget to do.  But look how nice we all look, and the kids... in their matching outfits....still relatively clean.  This happens once and a blue moon these days so enjoy it....pictures that is.

The reason we probably took the picture above is because my picture obsessed loving father-in-law was in town.  And had we not taken those photos before mass....no matter how late we were going to be....he would have flipped.  But seriously I'm happy he was here and that he has a very unhealthy habit of taking photographs or I would not have that gem above.

Luckily he managed to grab a few with the kiddos as well.  I think he is physically restraining Margot from moving right here.  No I'm not kidding....anything for the picture.

After Mass, we headed home where we took our turn in hosting the annual Christmas Eve party.  I managed to get one picture of the kiddos with their nice clothes on by the tree before all our company arrived.

Sadly my father-in-law was upstairs changing clothes or doing God knows what,  and I know he was because if he was around for the tree picture taking session, I'd have a lot more than the one above to show you.  In fact, he may have even got a rope out to tie that youngest tike to the tree for the perfect picture.....and there are some of you out there that think I'm kidding.  I'm so not!

After lots of drinks, food, laughter and almost setting my neighbor's yard on fire, we said good-bye to our company and got into our cozy jammies.  We read our yearly "Twas the Night Before Christmas" and then got settled into our beds, with visions of vomit dancing through someone's head.

That's right, as Santa and his elves were finishing up downstairs we heard a weird noise coming from the littlest tike's room.  I debated on whether to actually go into her room to check on her, I immensely feared waking her up and that resulting in her wanting to come down and play with all the new loot Santa had just dropped off.  It has been known to happen with our sweet, stubborn, little caboose.  Once she is up, she is up. But that mother's instinct kicked in and I went up to check on her.  As soon as I opened her bedroom door, the smell knocked me out.  All of the Christmas goodies she had eaten that night made a nasty re-appearance.  So at 2am we  whisked her off into the bathtub and then into a new set of pajamas with a fresh set of sheets on the bed.  Nothing like early morning Christmas laundry.  Then we amazingly were able to tuck her little butt back in bed.

At this point Santa was exhausted and so was his elf.... and the Momma knew it would be a long Christmas day ahead.  The biggest two tikes were up bright and early and were mesmerized when they woke up to this...

 But I made them wait patiently until their baby sister was awake...after about 45 seconds of them complaining about the unfairness of that.  I decided they were right and told Josh to go and wake the little booger up.  I mean I have been woken up by her more than my fair share....what do they say  about payback.  Oh I kid...she did rally though and came down with a smile....well sort of a smile.  

Meredith was thrilled to finally be able to attack her pile.  She went at it in true Meredith fashion. One gift at a time, taking her time and watching to make sure she was going to be the last one left with something wrapped.

I wasn't quite sure how Noah would attack his pile, but he did just that.  He went at it full speed.  He never turned around or showed us what he got.  He simply unwrapped every wrapped item in the pile to quickly see what it was.  We heard.."WOW....COOL....I LOVE IT.....AWESOME...COOL....LOOK!"  Over and over until it was nothing but a pile of unwrapped toys.  It took approximately 35 seconds.

Margot went right after hers as well.   She became increasingly interested in unwrapping gifts this Christmas. In fact a few family members received already opened gifts this year.  I was not wrapping anything twice.  She attacked her few wrapped gifts cautiously and thoroughly.  She ripped tiny piece by tiny piece and didn't stop until the job was complete.   And once it was, she parked her little but in her new house and watched everyone else.

After about a half hour my living room looked like this.  You can see Noah's pile over there of semi wrapped gifts.  The first thing he did was go to the toy room and get some of his old toys to play with his new ones.  Meredith looked at her gifts one by one and decided what she was saving to play with later.  And Margot, well her everything Santa left open and unwrapped she plays with daily, but the ones in the original packaging are still in the original packaging, in her closet.  Mainly because I am the meanest mother ever and have decided that since our house was on the market, we weren't opening unnecessary toys.  They would be easier to move in the original boxes.  It would be like Christmas all over again when we moved.  Now 2 months later, the house still on the market, I guess I should break out those little people.  Seriously, it was only like 3 things...maybe two...Hmmm I wonder where they are.  Poor third child.

And that my friends was our Christmas.  Margot wound up spreading her Christmas Cheer around to everyone, including me.  Phenegran gel and Zofran became my favorite gift that year.  Tis' the season.  We also sent that special cheer home with Poppy Greg.  

**This post was written in February of 2012...the end of February.  I'm backdating it.  I'm trying to get back at it and highlight some of the things I missed.  

Good news.....no....GREAT news!

You may have previously read that Margot had an MRI scheduled and an appointment with a neurosurgeon.  I know I never specified exactly why that was.  I admit I was a little vague.  Partly because I am the type of person that believes if I don't mention it out loud, or type it for the world to see, it isn't real.  And I did not want it to be real. 

Margot was born with a sacral dimple, it was noted on her birth-day and then followed up on every well baby visit since.  At her 6 month check-up her pediatrician thought it was time we took a closer look at it and referred us on to a neurosurgeon who ordered an MRI before we saw him.  We weren't expecting anything since Margot was moving her legs and had good muscle tone, but we needed to have this test done and see a neurosurgeon to look over scans so that he could rule out spina bifida and spina bifida occulta.  And just reading the possibilities and could be's were scary enough....enough to worry this momma to death.

On Monday Margot had an MRI of her lower spine.  She required anesthesia to do this since she had to remain still for approximately 35 minutes.  She did great, but it was tough to see my baby so groggy and cranky afterwards.  We then had to wait until Thursday to get the results from the neurosurgeon.  The wait was unbearable, probably some of the worst days of my life.  It's amazing the places your mind can take you while you wait.  I needed to know Monday afternoon whether or not something was going on.  Each day my worries grew a new head and got a lot bigger.  By Thursday morning, when I was sitting in the neurosurgeon's office waiting for him to come in with the results I was ready to vomit all over.   It was the longest three days of my life.

 I am happy to say, her results came back perfect.  Her spine is perfect and normal.  It ends right where it is supposed to and her sacral dimple is just that a dimple.  A very deep dimple that we can't see the end of, but it is a dimple and absolutely nothing more.  We are completely grateful and have been celebrating the good news since.  And we thank all of you who have prayed for our sweet baby girl.  There are no words to express how thankful and happy we are and how much we appreciate it.

To celebrate we had cookies and milk Friday night, Margot even got an Oreo. 

Hmmm, what is this?

Dad are you sure this is for me?  Isn't it normally just for the bigs?

Hmmm, it's not so bad.

It taste a little sweet, mom....just like me.

Let me get another little taste.

Noah you do know what you are talking about.....I love it too!

This is some good stuff....I'm going to enter a sugar induced high at any moment!

Mom I may be addicted like my brother....this is really good shit.

Can I have oreos every night?

An the universe throws me another curve ball

Today I took the youngest two tikes to see good ole' Dr. H.  Our ENT.  Noah had an appointment for a re-check.  The last time we saw Dr. H it was more of an emergent situation.  Noah was screaming in pain and I called begging for them to fit us in immediately....which they did considering we were under a tornado watch or warning at the time....whichever one it is that they actually see a tornado.  We were the only people there that day....no wonder they fit me in.

Anyway today was our "2 week check-up" to make sure the antibiotics that Dr. H gave Noah worked.  Well since the Universe thinks I am awesome with dealing with sickness, guess what....his ears are still infected.  Yep, Dr. H said Noah will once again need surgery to put tubes back in.  And then he so casually mentioned that while he was under we might as well take his adenoids and tonsils.  I knew that part was coming.  Then he asked where in the world my children got such large adenoids and tonsils?

This is where it all went to hell in a hand basket.  I said..."well I've never had an ear infection, but I do have abnormally large tonsils.  I've had lots of doctors trying to take those suckers out for years, but I wouldn't let them."  Big Mistake.  HUGE.  Dr. H then told me to open wide and say Ahh.  He peeked in with his super cool light and tongue depressor and said "Holy smoke they are huge....we have got to get them out of there." 

He asked if my throat was bothering me now....which it is.  He then asked what kind of medicine I was on....to which I said none.  He then said that they were infected now with lots of puss and stuff on them.  And that whether I liked it or not he was getting those tonsils out of there.  He then proceeded to sit me in his fancy chair and suction the disgusting stuff off my tonsils.....too much information.  That's why I put all the cute pictures. 

So after he was done with me. I asked him to peek into Margot's ears....you know for shits and giggles. She had just gotten the all clear on her ears last week from Dr. B, our pediatrician.  So we held Margot down so Dr. H could take a peek and again he said "Holy smoke has she got fluid in those ears....yep I have to do something about those ears too." 

I told him just last week they were fine, and he disagreed based on the amount of fluid in them and the consistency of it. He asked how long this had been going on and when I told him since November, he was a little blown away that we hadn't made it there with Margot's own appointment by now.

So the next thing I know, Dr. H's sweet nurse is putting all three of us on his surgery schedule.  And while I committed to a date for the two youngest tikes, I would not commit to a date for me.  No three for one special for me.  Come on, we have all heard of the scary tonsil removal in an adult story.  No way am I doing that.  I'll keep my tonsils and my funk with me and that is exactly what I told Dr. H.  He took me very serious to my word because before I could get everyone loaded up and in the car he had called Josh to break the news to him and made him promise to see my tonsillectomy through.

And that my friends is how it goes here.  Never a dull moment.  Never a doctor visit that says...things are going great.  See you next year.  Or even see you in three months, nope it is more of a "see you for surgery in a few weeks", or "we need to get this kidney stone out right away", or "you really need to get that MRI now", or "she will then follow up with a neurosurgeon on Thursday", or "we need to repeat her blood work in a month", or "your blood work came back abnormal for xyz and we need to draw some more". 

Yes, that is what we have been going through here on top of stomach bugs, viruses and ear infections.  And it is no freaking fun.  AT ALL.  Yes, Margot has a diagnosis of Congenital Hypothyroidism.  We have no other diagnosis for her at the this time.  She is growing well and meeting all her age appropriate milestones, but we do have a surgery scheduled now and we also have an MRI on the books for her, with a follow up appointment with a neurosurgeon.  We could use your thoughts and prayers.

Noah has a diagnosis of shitty ears and abnormally large tonsils.  I hear his surgery won't be pretty either.  Although it will be prettier than mine.  I'm guessing my mother of the year award will be in the mail for making him go first and me being too chicken to do it.  So when you are praying for my sweet baby girl, please pray for my baby boy as well.  And hell go ahead and throw a little prayer in that Meredith's tubes stay put or we will be doing a three for one special that day.

And that my friends is a small sampling of what my life has been like for the last 7 months.  Okay let's be honest.  The last 15 months.  Margot has kept us on our toes.  But she is perfectly healthy and perfectly, perfect.  And for that I am so very thankful.

I hope you enjoyed my pictures from my impromptu photo shoot with Margot and Noah.  I am by no means a photographer.  I have the fancy camera, but I just point and shoot and I know that is sad.  But at least I am taking it out again and taking pictures.  My motivation to do that lately has been overshadowed by my exhaustion.  But Margot is growing so fast these days andI know I need to document it.  You can also see how easy it is too take pictures of two children when one is named Noah.  You ought to see the outtakes of trying to photograph three.  Well hell the only way for you to do that is for me to show you, so tomorrow I will.

And one last photo of Margot in deep thought.....I wonder how long she is going to point that thing in my face and yell Margot....Margot....clearly if Noah doesn't need to listen, then neither do I. 

Sick of it...

I am sitting here typing this with my Kleenex box by my side, my nose running, my throat sore, my head aching and my eyes burning and I am longing for the days of summer, when no one is sick. 

Today is my 6th day with this cold.  The cold that came after the most awful stomach virus that has ever hit our family...pre and post tikes.  I am OVER it.  We have had RSV, fevers, the flu symptoms without the presence of the flu, bronchitis with breathing treatments, ear infections, more fevers, constant runny noses, the most awful stomach virus and kidney stones.  Dear Universe.....I have dealt with more than my fair share.....so take your sicknesses and shove it. 

My tikes are driving me crazy.  And I am not myself.  I'm exhausted, I'm irritable, I'm rundown and worn out.  I'm OVER IT!  Completely over it.  I long for the day that hearing my sweet children's voices at a high pitched squeal doesn't remind me of nails being scratched across a chalkboard.   I'm sick of being on edge and wanting to just retreat to my room with the door locked.  This is not me.  I thought about postpartum issues, but I am sure it is more cold and flu season issues.  I just want to feel well and while I am at it.....I am sick of my kids being sick.  Margot's nose has been a faucet that has been turned on since Halloween, and I am not exaggerating.  Poor baby has been so sick she probably has no idea what it is like to feel well and not have a fountain permanently attached to her face.

But despite all these illness that have plagued our family, we have managed to keep it real here. 

We have road monster trucks.

And we have gone bowling...

We got a jump start (thanks to garden club) and planted our spring garden.

 We have soaked up the beautiful weather outside.

We have gone fishing.

No we don't let illnesses keep us down.  I have tried convincing my husband to just blow up the house and build a new one.  I'm convinced that is the only way to get all the germs out.  Then once our house is rebuilt for insulation I'm going to just a cellophane type thing to keep it germ free.  Think that will work?  So Internets what has plagued your house this cold and flu season?

When did she get so dang big?

Today my big girl was scheduled for surgery.  She was having tubes put in and her adenoids removed....can we say scary?  At least that is what I thought.  And that was before I realized that not only would they be putting my baby to sleep, but they would also be putting a breathing tube down her throat.  It's probably a very good thing I found out five minutes before her surgery started, otherwise I wouldn't have made it. 

My game plan for this surgery was to tell Meredith as little as possible about it, until the morning of.  I knew we were doing this 2 weeks ago.  Meredith knew a little bit, like she was now going to get some hot pink ear plugs to wear like Noah does.  And that now when we go to visit the crazy Dr. H, he would be checking her ears out too.  That part she loved.  She also kind of clued in when her little friend Sam brought her balloons and a pink puppy dog.  Yes, Sam as in Sam a boy.  I know....she's only 4 years old and already has a boy bringing her balloons and stuffed animals.  I have to say though, Sam is a cutie!

Back to surgery....we arrived bright and early, signed in, where whisked away to the back, checked in by several nurses and then greeted by Dr. H.  And speaking of Dr. H, can I just say he is my hero.  Seriously he is.  He has a way of making my kids feel at home and secure and their momma too.  Meredith didn't even shed a tear when the came to get her and take her back to the OR.  She gave us a kiss and was wheeled away with a loopy smile on her face.  Loopy due to the drugs they gave her to relax, but still no tears.  Dr. H then came out to tell us, that she was happily blowing up the balloon, a tactic they were using to get her to sleep.  He's a fabulous doctor and I am so happy to have a wonderful ENT in our lives, especially with the rampant ear infections we have experienced lately. 

Anyway bright and early this morning I learned the 5-7 minute procedure that I was expecting like when Noah got his tubes was not going to happen.  Apparently it is alot more involved when you remove someones adenoids and that takes 25-30 minutes.  Yes, that is a huge deal.  And for those that think it isn't.....when it is your baby, it totally is.  Anytime it is anything having to do with one of your babies it is a VERY BIG FREAKING DEAL.  Can you tell I have been harboring some feelings on people trying to blow off my concerns and worries about the surgery? 

All in all the procedure was great.  Meredith came out of recovery fast asleep and slept really well for the next hour.  She then woke up and looked at Josh and I and told us "you woked me up too early!"  Then we offered her some sprite or a Popsicle and she took a sip and dozed right back off. 

We headed home about an hour and half after the procedure where she napped some more and then watched movies for the rest of the day.  She didn't shed a tear all day, until the lady pulled the tape off her arm to remove her "princess glove" or IV and then again when we were home and she was told to share her balloon with her brother.  Other than that not a single tear all day! 

She was a much better patient than I ever would have been.  Even Dr. H commented on what a brave girl I had.  She totally does not get that from me, I guess that is more of Josh in her.  Although I will be the first to admit my girl is 98% her momma and 2% her daddy.  I'm glad she got some of his courage when it comes to medical procedures.  Maybe she will grow up to be a doctor like she wants.

I have no idea when she got so big and brave?  When she decided she could face some of the world on her own...she's growing up and although it pains me that it is happening too fast, I love the little girl she is growing up to be.

My brave big girl getting ready for her tubes.

And although she was such a big girl going back with the nurse and CRNA.  I was happy she came back looking more like my baby and sleeping soundly.

Thanks to all of you for the prayers and well wishes!  She did fabulous and has made almost a complete recovery by tonight.  I am so thankful for that.  I was expecting the worst and she really made it look like a piece of cake!

Because having nothing going on right now, would be too much to ask for!

I would love to write a continuance post about Disney, but that won't be happening right now.  Why?  Because of the other things going on.....mostly the swine flu!

On our flight home I noticed Noah's nose was runny, I figured it was bound to happen.  We were on a flight with hundreds of other people in really close quarters, breathing the same air, spreading multiple germs for almost 2 hours.  Not to mention every time his pacifier fell out of his mouth at Disney he or we would pick it up and give it back to him. Sanitary? No.  Convenient?  Yes.  So yes, we obviously brought home germs.

By Monday he had a fever, and by Tuesday so did Meredith.  This morning it was confirmed that we have swine flu.  Well them, not me.  I tested negative.  However I feel as crummy as they do and have even taken two naps myself.  So really I'm convinced I got something.  Maybe they didn't stick that thing far enough up my nose....talk about uncomfortable.

Anyway we do have the swine flu.  Thankfully the kids are resting quietly now, which would leave me time to upload the hundreds of pics I took at Disney or I could nap instead.  For the third day in a row, the nap is going to win out.  Sorry.

Well I will nap as soon as the dishwasher installer and his loud talking wife are finished.  Did I mention that my dishwasher went out as soon as we got home?  It worked twice and then was apparently fried in an electrical explosion or something.  All I know is the electrician showed me some very burnt up wires and told me how lucky I had that green/ground wire or I wouldn't have a house anymore.  Yes, thank God for green wires. 

So as soon as I am feeling up to it, I promise to post some pics from Mouse world.  I also promise a very exciting and interesting and possibly educational post about my top 10 tricks/tips/lessons about Disney world.  Oh it will be so exciting....not really, but we can pretend.

Well that's all I got today.  I'm working on my list, maybe I'll crank that out today to, or I'll just to continue to administer the oinkment for my kids swine flu.....isn't that cute....my friend whose husband works in the ER told me about that one....apparently that's how we treat the swine flu here is south mississippi.....thanks Laura!

I think it lasted a month....maybe...

After reading all of my friend's that live in my town status' on facebook about their children having a fever virus I had two thoughts....

....wow we have been well for what seems like a while now
.....shit, I'm sure we are going to get this virus now.

And I was right on both accounts. It has been a while since the kids were sick....me not so much....have you read about my kidney stones, my birthday hangover and my ER trip? Yeah me not so much, but the kids have been just great! Until yesterday....

Meredith woke up with a low grade temp. She stayed home from school and was quite ornery and miserable. Her fever went away but was back that evening.

Noah is great, he doesn't have a fever and hasn't slowed down a bit. Although he did lay on my lap this morning for about 30 minutes to watch Sesame Street. This is a record, the boy never sits still. EVER. But my boy is generally very healthy aside from those pesky ears.

So yes, we are down with the illness again. Josh and I actually have a dinner to go to tonight and when I texted our baby/big girl sitter, she told me she didn't mind taking care of my Mere with a fever. And honestly when I told Meredith I'd stay home tonight and take care of her....she cried for Ms. Carrie.

So we are going to try and venture out tonight.

In other news the renovation is scheduled to start next week. Did I tell you about it? Yeah I'm having walls torn out, walls put in, loads of brick work, a fireplace ripped out, a brick one built in, floors ripped out, floors put in, cabinets and granite ripped out, with more cabinets and granite put in. It should be a fun time. They estimate I will be out of the kitchen for at least 4 days. I will also be without a washer and dryer for about 3 weeks. Thank goodness I have a new friend moving in the neighborhood and my mom is only a hop, skip and jump away.

The first installment has been paid, the brick and sand will arrive Monday and an exact start date will be given Monday as well, but tentatively they will begin in the latter part of next week. I already can't wait until it is finished.

Josh and I are also discussing starting another major renovation project, adding a huge bonus room over our garage. I guess we will see how our kitchen/living room project go first.

Well that is my life right now in a nutshell. I'm hoping to have a weekend soon to go relax at Mimi and Poppa's new beach condo....we all know I need it! Also if you are interested in renting a condo in the lovely Gulf Shores, email me for the friends and family rate.

Just can't get enough

Tomorrow I am headed back into the ambulatory surgery center to have another stent placed. Wish me luck and say some prayers. Kidney stones are just a bucket of fun!

In other news I haven't shown my house again this week, who wants to take bets on a showing tomorrow? Anyone....yes that is how my luck goes.

Today Noah decided to squeeze his body through the iron rails at the top of the stairs to let me know, baby gate or not....he could get through. As if I didn't have enough on my plate my little Houdini.

Meredith had a great day at school today, when I went to pick her up she didn't want to leave, that is one for the record books. She loves school, but she always loves coming home too.....well she used to.

Tomorrow Miss Carrie is coming to babysit while I have my very minor procedure. The kids will think it is such a treat.....they have no idea.....here's to hoping it is quick, easy and painless.

Also to my Pay it Forward people, I will email you guys as soon as all this kidney stone stuff is resolved. To everyone else thanks for the emails and prayers, I appreciate them. I also assure you I am not dying it just feels that way!

The stone of death!

Wow, I never thought I would be back to blogging. Yesterday I thought I was dying.....a very slow and painful death at that. Thank goodness for doctors and drugs is all I will say.

When Meredith was 4 months old, I took a very unexpected trip to the ER in the middle of the night with kidney stones. As I peeked into my baby's crib I was certain that it would be the last time I saw her. I truly thought I was dying. It felt like my insides were being ripped out of me. It is a pain I cannot even begin to describe. My mom came over to watch Meredith and Josh whisked me to the ER. I remember standing at my front door crying because the 5 minute drive from her house to mine felt like it was taking an eternity. The 1o minute drive to the ER was even longer.

Once we were there everyone knew what is was immediately, including my husband. I was just too delirious from the pain to hear any of them and was sure I was on my death bed. No one could live through this type of pain and tell about it, I was wrong....I have gotten to do it twice now. Yes, it was a very treatable diagnosis that I was going to survive.....it was kidney stones. The rumor is true they are that painful, more painful than childbirth. I think I told off everyone in the ER that night and used some of the foulest language of my life. Then I got the drugs and life was better.

Fast forward three years later, that same stone was still there, trying to make it's way out. I am pretty sure you know where it comes out, and yes it is very painful. The stone in the past three years has also grown and was quite large, I saw it with my own eyes. In fact, it was so large, there was no way I was going to pass it, so I had to have it surgically removed.

I woke up last Thursday pretty sure I had a bladder infection or urinary tract infection. After a urine analysis, an x-ray and a CT scan, it was official I still had kidney stones. I scheduled a minor surgical procedure to have it removed the following morning. Let's just say that procedure wasn't as minor as I originally bargained on. However the pain meds were so good, I truly have no idea what happened that morning or how I got home. What I do know is that the recovery was more involved than my c-sections. No, I am not kidding.

Yesterday I went back in to see my urologist to have the lovely stent removed. You really should see what it looks like.....check it out here. I know amazing....and disgusting....and yes that was in me. So anyway the stent was removed and I thought I was headed to recovery. Well any other patient would be, but not me. My kidney started to spasm, which was some of the worst pain I have ever felt. In fact it was the same pain or pretty close to the pain I felt almost 3 years ago. Again I thought I was dying.

I called my husband sobbing on the way home from gymnastics, then I called my mom to meet me and help clean my house and pick up me and the tikes. Yes, at the very same time a realtor called to ask if they could do a second showing in two hours. If I didn't have this kind of luck, I wouldn't have any!

So my mom and dad rushed over to take care of the house and pick up me and kids. I cried the whole ride to their house and then I cried some more. At that point Josh gave me some meds and eventually my pained decreased. He then headed back to work and I took a nap with the tikes. After my nap the pain was back and I then began vomiting, which is very common with kidney stones. So Josh picked me up and left the tikes with Mimi and Poppa.

Thankfully my urologist and best friend's husband made a house call on his way home and gave me some pain meds and nausea meds and almost instantly I felt better. After a full night of sleep I am back to normal.

For the record......I hate kidney stones. I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy.

However I still have another, larger stone in my other kidney. For this stone I will schedule lipotripsy and try to avoid having to have it surgically removed. Wish me luck and say some prayers.

Friday the 13th crazy

Last night before Meredith went to bed she asked to sleep with me because her ears hurt. I knew for a fact she had an ear infection. Her normal m.o. for faking an illness is "my teeth are coming out." About a year ago, she was very crabby and restless while cutting her molars and she over-heard me tell Josh that I knew she wasn't feeling well because her "teeth were coming out....all 4 at once." Since then she has used that line daily when she didn't want to do something or didn't want to go to school or wanted her pacifier outside of her bed or wanted candy to eat instead of lunch and you get the point.

Anyway when she told me her ears hurt and not that her teeth were coming out, I knew the child really was not feeling well at all. So first thing this morning, I removed her foot from my rib cage and then called the pediatrician. At 8am. Yes, that time is very important. I called first thing and told them my daughter had an ear infection. They fit me in at 6:40pm. I am not kidding. At least they didn't make me wait until Saturday or even Monday, they have been known to do that. I was a little perturbed they couldn't see me sooner, but my favorite doctor was working the after hours clinic so I didn't complain too much.

We went and saw our doctor and sure enough she confirmed that Meredith indeed had a double ear infection. She was thinking it may have been a residual infection from last month. Great! So she called in some antibiotics and numbing drops to the pharmacy, checked out my Noah real quick just to make sure his ears were clear and then sent us on our way with two lollipops!

We got to Target to fetch the prescription and Motrin and then headed to the checkout line. While we were in line Josh told me to turn around and grab Meredith who was standing right behind me in the middle of the aisle. I wasn't sure why he had a look of panic on his face, she was only 3 feet behind me. Target was busy though, very busy, lines were 10 deep, so I turned to tell her to stay by me and then I noticed why he had that look on his face.

Meredith was dancing in the middle of the main aisle with her pants and panties around her ankles singing......"See my heiny cakes....you can see my heiny cakes....heiny cakes....heiny cakes....heiny cakes!"

I ran over and started pulling her panties and pants back up and telling her that she couldn't show everyone in Target her heiny cakes. "Why momma?"......"Because you just can't baby"....."But I want to momma"....."later, not tonight!.....must be those ears making you do this"......"okay momma, later."

With that we pulled up the pants, checked out and headed to the car. I am assuming her ears are so clogged that her brain is not functioning normally, that or she is channeling her inner stripper. This was a first, I was shocked. Her audience at Target had a quick chuckle and thought it was cute.

The end....finally

At the end of two hellish weeks of sickness I can say.....we are feeling better. Hallelujah! However Josh isn't feeling so hot.

In honor of our feeling better status we hit Target, went out to lunch, hit the ginormous play structure in the back yard, rode our ride on toys in the driveway, went out to dinner, went to the mall and now are all in our own beds. Now I am off to bed, let's hope we all sleep soundly tonight.

Sweet kisses for his momma!

Today it was just Noah and I hanging out in the living room. His big sister was upstairs sleeping so he had me all to himself. Maybe that is why he only napped for 45 minutes. So we were playing and he was practicing walking and trying to get into a standing position on his own and then he walked over to me smacking his lips while looking up to me. I leaned down and he plopped the biggest open mouth kiss right on my lips. Then he hugged me and said "Awwww". Talk about melt a momma's heart.

After this he did it again, but this time he said "Bye-bye Ma-ma". I guess he was trying to get back to Mimi's house. It was a sweet gesture though, at least he wanted to give me a big kiss before he left.

This evening Carrie, our babysitter (who is a Godsend), offered to take Meredith to dinner at Chuck-e-cheese to get her out the house and give Josh and I a break. She was so excited when Carrie got here, she ran right to her and jumped into her arms. They quickly told us goodbye and headed out the door. With that Noah gave me another hug and told me "bye-bye" and then pointed to go out the door with Carrie and Meredith. He started to cry when I told him he wasn't going. He truly was broken hearted. Thankfully Mimi and Papa arrived at the same time to drop off snack for Meredith's school tomorrow. He was happy to just be held by Mimi instead.

Noah, Josh and I then had a quiet evening full of fever, sneezes, runny noses and a delicious dinner brought by a good friend.

Thanks Neely and Carrie - I appreciate the help tonight!

A quick update...

So no post today because I feel like I am on the verge of death. I cannot remember the last time I felt this bad.....having a c-section was much easier.

Meredith is feeling better, she isn't her self yet, but I am betting by tomorrow will be pretty close to it. Unfortunately Noah is not. Poor little guy, he is so miserable, yet he is still smiling and won't stop or even slow down. This makes him feel worse, so it is a vicious cycle for the poor little guy, but he keeps smiling. He is even walking a little.....a very little.....while he isn't feeling well. I am betting when we are better he will be walking all over. Just say some prayers that better comes sooner than later.

I hate feeling like crap, but I really hate that my kids feel this way to and that there isn't much I can do about it. Thank goodness Mimi was around today and took them both home tonight. Maybe the extra rest will have me feeling better tomorrow and I will be back on my game. Good night all!

The bug has bit us again

Would it be so hard to believe that my children are sick again? Probably not huh? Well they are, or we are. Yes, this time I have whatever nasty bug is going around. Meredith started with it last Tuesday, she is just starting to climb the hill of feeling normal. She still has a nasty cough and bilateral ear infections, but she is on the mend.

Noah and I are a different story. Noah started with it Friday and I started with it yesterday. According to the length of time Meredith had it, Noah and I are in for the long haul. Today Josh took off of work to stay home with us. Yes, it is that bad. Fever, chills, coughing, sneezing, aching and there is no "so you can rest medicine." Trust me I have tried it all. They are all full of shit.

I hate being sick, mainly because I feel so helpless. I feel like death so trying to comfort them is so hard. However I can fully appreciate their bad moods, sleepless nights, and frustrating cries. Yes, I feel like crying myself. Thank goodness Josh is around, without him today I would be up a creek without a paddle. And really if mommy is too sick to care for you, who is next best in line.....daddy of course. I just hope he is spared.

Now I am back to bed to try to rest. Here is hoping we are all back to normal soon, or close to normal.

An age requirement

There are lots of things that require being a certain age to be able to do them in this house. They aren't necessarily bad things, but things that my kids will have to be a certain age to do. Like dating, driving, going out, curfews and so on. And those are a long way off and thankfully Josh and I have time to decide at what age that will be. And then there are some things that are going to come sooner like soft drinks, gum, sleepovers at friend's houses and son on. I never really thought about how I would be one of the people who decided when these things would happen.

Like gum, I made a rule one day because I was chewing gum and Meredith wanted some. Well at two I wasn't going to give her gum. I was fully aware that the gum would wind up in her hair, on her clothes and probably all over my house. So I made up a "rule" one day in the quick. You have to be 5 to chew gum. Then the other rules just followed suit. Like coke, "mom can I have some coke?" Nope you have to be 5 to drink coke.

Then there are rules that are set that I can't change. Like receiving communion at church. She watches each week very inquisitively. Each week she asks us what it is? What do we do with it? Why can't she have some? One day it was....

"Mom I want to eat that too."

I explained to her that you had to make your first communion before you could have communion. And that was when you were in second grade. And that communion was really Jesus and you had to be ready to receive Jesus. She looked at me like I was crazy. Clearly Jesus was the man on the altar talking, we were not eating him, we were eating "bread." Well this explanation didn't really fly, it confused her. She didn't know what communion was or second grade, but she totally got it when I told her she had to be 7. The wheels in her head were spinning now, I was talking in a language she fully understood. In fact last week when we sat down in church she looked at me and said....

"momma, I'm 7 today"

"umm, no baby you are 2 remember"

"no momma today I am 7, today I gonna get da bread"

See how quick she is. She is a fast thinker and is great with numbers. Really great, in fact she often adds and subtracts without knowing what she is doing. No wonder she got this whole age thing down pat.

Well this morning she is still under the weather. We were laying in bed and I asked her if there was anything she needed. She looks so pitiful right now I would give her the world if she asked.

"Baby do you need anything?"

"Some water momma"

"Are you sure? Do you want some lemonade or (thinking really fast about what else we have) or...... coke?"

her eyes lit up and she smiled from ear to ear.....I was starting to regret that offer, what if she took me up on it and then I had a wired, sick two year old..... and then she looked at me and with the biggest grin said....
"Silly momma you have to be 5 to have coke....I'm only 2!"

Oh how I love my little Meredith. She is such a smart cookie. And so we are laying in bed...I am drinking a coke and my two year old is happily drinking water.

One for the record books

Yes, today was officially one of the hardest days so far this year....I know it is only January, but it was hard dammit. It started out with a 7:30a.m. trip to the dentist to fix my still pestering tooth. I could stop right there and the day could totally blow, really is there any reason to go on. Anytime I go to the dentist it is like paying someone to torture me, both physically and financially. Yes the damn dentist.

When I got home from the dentist, my mom told me Meredith had just woken up around 9am. I knew then we were in for trouble. She has been running fever, coughing with a runny nose and being quite miserable all day.

Noah on the other hand has been feeling fine and is going full speed ahead and not slowing down at all. He even took 6 steps today, see it is one for the record books.

After I thanked Mimi for coming over so early in this frigid weather.....okay so it isn't frigid to all of you, but this is south Mississippi where if it drops below 40 we think maybe we should stay in all day due to the abnormally cold weather. We also wear heavy coats and put hats on our kids and if we could find two mittens in our house we would probably put those on them too.

So right after Mimi left, the numbness in my mouth started to wear off and that is when I noticed that my mouth was killing me. Like as in I want to rip my freaking head off or at least my tooth out, killing me. Yes it was that bad, but I opted not to take a pain pill by myself with two small kids. Instead I opted for a couple of Advil and busied myself with other time consuming tasks like making dinner, making lemon squares from scratch, unloading the dishwasher. Yes, unloading the dishwasher should only be done by very responsible individuals unlike myself. At that point I dropped a glass on the granite counter top and that glass shattered and bounced and a big piece stabbed me right in the finger. It was awful. My finger looked and still looks awful. Meredith panicked, I panicked and that is when I called Josh and then Mimi, because I was going to pass out at any minute from the sight of red oozing out of my finger very rapidly.

So Mimi rushed back, she took care of my tikes, while my husband made a house call to take care of my finger. My husband then went back to work, while the Mimi helped to take care of the house and littlest tike while I took care of the big one with my botched finger.

Around 5:30pm I thought things were starting to look up, Noah was eating like a champ, Meredith was finally sleeping peacefully, Mimi was doing the rest of my dishes, Papa was cutting the grass and bringing in all my neighbors trash cans and Josh was walking in the door. Did I dare say things were looking up?

About 6, Mimi and Papa had left, Meredith was waking up telling me she was fam-ished, Noah was being Noah and crawling all over the place and Josh was on the phone with a friend talking about my finger and whether I needed stitches or there was glass in it. That is when Noah decided to take 6 steps. I stood there in awe. I didn't clap or jump up and down, I didn't do anything but count to six and point to make sure Josh saw it too. He did! Noah then sat downed and crawled and hasn't done it again. Yes the boy who refuses to stand on his own, much less try to take a step on his own......stood up, let go of the ottoman and took six perfect steps to the coffee table while holding a bag of baby wipes. I told you it was one for the record books.

So things were really looking up at that point. I then made Meredith some toast and fruit and then Noah demanded more fruit as well, so I set him up with some. I got them both some water and was thinking....it's been a hell of a day thank goodness it is over. And that is when the powers that be told me not to be all smug and turned our world upside down again.

Noah pooped and was abnormally cranky due to being overtired, my finger started bleeding and Meredith turned her cup over spilling water all over herself which is the equivalent of the world ending in her little princess mind. And the pager......the freaking pager went off. A patient was crashing which meant no matter how bad shit was at home, Josh had to go and take care of someone else. That's what it means to be married to a doctor. You take the very good with the very bad. And off he went and there I sat ready to cry and wishing I could just crawl into bed with my sliced up finger and aggravating tooth. But that is the amazing thing about how much a mom can withstand, no matter how physically, emotionally or mentally exhausted she is, she always has a little reserve to help her continue to push through.

Right now, at 8:37pm, Noah is tuckered out in his bed, Meredith is bathed and cuddled up beside me watching Peter Pan and I am thanking my lucky stars I made it through the day and that I people near me who love me and my tikes so much that they are always willing to do whatever they can to help. Thank you mom and Josh. I don't know what I would do without either of you.