Friday, May 29, 2009


Maybe Edward Cullen is his idol.

"Vampries are all the rage mom, just ask the ladies!"

Thursday, May 28, 2009

The vampire and the witch

Today was their first real fight. It was bad, they both drew blood.

I was always afraid that my sweet Meredith would never be able to protect herself...from the vampire or other bullies. Her normal routine is to scream in agony as the little vampire sinks his teeth in. Then I come running in to save the day and correct the little vampire and he is made to apologize..... with a big grin on his face the whole time.

To try and stop this little vampire from attacking, I finally instructed Meredith to bite back. She was very excited with this instruction however when teeth came to skin, so to speak, she just could never bring herself to actually bite back. So the routine continues, saving the day....vampire apologizes and the big grin. Always the big grin.

Today was different. The vampire and the princess were both laying in my bed watching a movie. It had been a long day of swimming at Mimi's pool and everyone was tired and in a mood. So there they were laying calmly in my bed and so I took the opportunity to sneak off and quickly make dinner. I ran to the kitchen where I pulled out the ingredients. Before I actually got my hands full of ground meat, I ran to check on them one last time, and they were both still laying quietly. I knew at any moment their worlds might collide so I quickly headed back to the kitchen and dug my hands into the meat to roll the meatballs.

When I was halfway through I heard the scream. The loud, piercing scream from a little girl's mouth letting me know the vampire had just went in for the kill. I would normally run back to get the vampire's dead lock grip off, but today my hands were full of ground meat and so I decided to finish up the meatballs and let them work it out and correct him later.

Well the screaming continued and a few seconds later it was joined by another equally loud, piercing scream, but this time it was coming from the vampire. It was heartbreaking to hear. I rolled the last meatball, threw it in the pot, quickly washed my hands and then ran to my room.

The scene was bloody and full of tears. The vampire did go in for the kill right on her thigh and blood was drawn. However when the princess realized that help was not on the way she turned into the witch and scratched the vampire (with her nails she later reported) on his cheek and also drew blood. The fight looked deadly, however both walked away with minor injuries and there were no casualties.

I made both the witch and the vampire apologize. There were very tearful "sorrys" full of sobs.... but, today there were no grins..... not even from the vampire.

I thought this incident may have finally taught my little vampire his lesson, however not even two minutes later he again went in for the kill. This time I was there to stop him, I have no idea what I am going to do with my little vampire.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

My little boy

Dear Noah,

This month you are 18 months old. In baby terms, that is an accomplishment. These days you are all boy, no mountain is too tall, no danger is too dangerous. If it is possible you will do it and if not you will still try and find a way. I am fairly confident we will be in an ER sometime before you second birthday.

Almost two years ago, I found out that you were going to be a little boy. I have to say I was very excited. Although I told everyone who asked that I didn't care what gender you were, I did. I wanted a little boy. See I was raised with a sister. We knew all things girly. There were no footballs, trucks, mud, or dirt. We did Barbies, babies, school and house. We were girls.

You are very new to me and I am learning quickly. However, please grade me on a curve, because like I said you are my first boy. When you were born I have to admit, I was very scared of your little penis. Not because of the fact that you could squirt that little thing 4 feet in the air and at least 4 feet across the room, even at the tender age of two weeks.

No, I was intimidated by it for other reasons. I had no idea what to do with a little boy. I was very content with your sister because I could do babies, barbies, and all things pink. But now I was entering a very new era for me. I made a promise to you on your birthday in that quiet, dark hospital room as I was nursing you that I would learn all about t-ball, dinosaurs, trucks and sports.

I would be the best baseball, soccer, football mom around. I would learn to do ballet and baseball. Gymnastics and football.. I vowed to let you be a rough and tumble little boy and yet teach you to be respectful and gentle with little girls.

And at 18 months you have been the best teacher. I have learned to perfect my dinosaur growl, I know that I have to pass the 18 wheeler that is always parked in the lot by Target every time we go there. I know to acknowledge the big trucks on the road and practice the rumble they make with you. I know that every plane in the sky deserves some recognition. I have learned that no matter how much I correct you, you are still going to climb on everything you can. I have learned that when you fall you will get right back up and don't always want or need a big production. I know that you get mad or upset when your sister or another child take something away, but get over it just as quickly as you got upset.

I know that you will never be as dramatic as I was growing up, but that you will still have your moments. I know that one day your room will smell like dirty socks. I know there will come a time in your life when you leave home and go to college and will only come back when you need your laundry done. I also know you probably won't call home from college all that much.

I know there will come a time in your life when you love another girl or woman as much as you love me and one day she will become your whole life. I hope that when that time comes, I was a good mother to you and taught you how to take care of her and respect her.

You, Noah, are my little boy and always will be, thanks so much for the lessons so far.

I love you,

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The Beach....and not the beach!

Yes, we are home! I would say it is good to be home, but if we are being honest, it sucks. Not because coming home is not good after 7 nights away, but because when I was in Destin, I woke up to this every morning.....
And this is just a small, and I mean small, sampling of what I came home too....
And in case you couldn't see the layers upon layers of dust in that photo look at this one.....
Yes, that dust covered every square inch of my first floor and probably most of the second floor too. That my friends is why I haven't posted pictures like this one......

or this one from the beach.....

No instead we have been cleaning up dust and shit since Saturday, today I can finally see the light at the very far end of the very long tunnel. That and I called Servpro to come and finish the stuff I just can't do anymore, because really do you know how to clean out air conditioner vents.....yeah me either. Yes, it all has to be cleaned, because the people working on my kitchen floors have NEVER heard of visquine and when they ripped up over 500+ square feet of ceramic tile with a jackhammer, they never covered up anything or any opening to the rest of my house......but this is a rant for another day.

So yes internets I am home, happy about it? Not really, but home and starting to get life back to normal, that and plan my next beach trip!

Oh yeah and here's a teaser.....I promise to put up the before and afters, but since the 2 week job is now carrying into it's 4th week and may never end....I'm not sure when that will be. Enjoy! I promise more destin news and pics to come shortly....if I can find my sanity in a suitcase somewhere.

Oh and you better tell me what you think....I've been living in hell for weeks....please for goodness sake tell me what you think about it so far.....oh and it isn't near completion.....SERIOUSLY!

Congrats to the new lawyer in the family!

After 3 years that seemed to fly by very quickly, well at least to me, my sister finished Law School! '

Congrats Leigh Ann, we are all so proud of you!!!

My parents could not have been more proud, there is me a genius and speech therapist and my sister a Lawyer! What can I say we are pretty good kids!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

From under the rubble...

I just wanted to say, Happy Anninversary to my husband. Four years ago today, on Friday the thirteeneth, we said "I do" in front of 200 of our closest family and friends. Today we are blessed with two beautiful children, what used to be a beautiful home, and now a lot of dust and mess. I couldn't be happier....Cheers to Josh and I!

Important Announcement

Due to the disaster zone being much worse than I ever anticipated, the tikes and I are relocating temporarily the rest of this week and then heading to the beach on Saturday for a week of no dust, dirt or brick. Josh will be here to supervise.

That being said.....Regrets Only Stationery, will be closed effective today until June 1st!

Thanks so much for understanding. And if I am not blogging, it is because I am crying in a corner or ringing someone's neck. (and no it isn't my husband's)

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

What she says......thinking

"Momma I wanna snack"

"What do you want?"

"I wanna snack pwease."

So I open the box of Brownies and petit fours and turtles....well what's left of them.

"Pick one!"

"No, pick three?"

"No, I said pick one"

"Pick two?"

"Meredith, pick one or I will put them away"

After a few seconds and a lot of deliberations, she chooses one of the two remaining chocolate petit fours.

"I wan dis one"

"Good choice"

I then go about wiping down the dust from the counters for the 875th time this week. After enough time to consume a chocolate petit four....

"Oh no.....I dwopped it!!! Bwownie ate it!!!! OH NO!!!!" no tears though, it was kind of a weird, very calm reaction from my daughter who supposedly dropped her cake and watched the dog eat it. Normally that is followed by tears and uncontrollable sobs.

"Did you drop it?"

"Yeah I get a-nudder one?" reaching for the last chocolate petit four

"Sure get another one"

This time I watch as she eats all the chocolaty goodness and makes a bigger mess all over her hands and face. As she finishes the last bite....

"Oh no Momma, I think I dropped it again."

"You think you dropped it?"

"Yes, I think I dropped it and Bwownie ate it"

"Oh yeah" looking at her with those eyes....we have had a lot of discussions about Pinocchio and fibs lately

"Well......I think I ate it, yeah I think so momma"

"Yeah me too" And a big mischeavious grin crosses her face.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Open house

Hi welcome to my hell house, come on in. Sorry there is no where to sit and please forgive the mess. And remember wipe you feet before you walk on anything not covered by visquine....
Ignore those tools and empty box of cracker jacks, I just can't make people pick up after themselves, even the ones I am paying. we don't do snuff here.....not sure why that is lying around.

Oh you love my fire place, isn't it fabulous?

Yes, let's go get that glass of lemonade this way to the kitchen.

See the fireplace is looking a little better?

For those of you thinking WoW.....go ahead just look at that.....actual mud inside. I have officially lost it.

.......and more mud......

......and even more mud, oh and don't worry that brick does not look that dark, if it did I would seriously cry.

It looks more like this, but my photography skills are about as good as my housekeeping.

This is a thin layer that covers my entire house, those are my Brazilian cherry woods underneath it. The snuff guys didn't do a great job of covering the floors. I wonder what they are good at?

That is a mixture of dust, muck, mud and cement, in my kitchen and on my wood floors, do you see why I have lost it?

The only thing helping me keep my sanity over the weekend was this is how it looked on Friday, which means not too much longer.

Oh and the fireplace was finished Friday..........thank gawd!

The rest will be completed today, I don't know exactly what completed means though. I'm not sure if completed means they will finish the brick and leave the scaffolding, mud, muck and snuff for me to clean up, or if they might do that before they leave. Either way I'm not holding my breath did you see how good they were at covering up my floors. Exactly.
So yes, today the brick wall and fireplace is finsished, but.......tomorrow at 7am, the floor guys will be here. To remove all of my kitchen appliances and washer and dryer for at least 2 weeks. Then they will begin to rip out of the 500+ square feet of tile. Fun times, fun times, anyone want to join me for a drink? Or two, or ten? Wait don't leave......come back soon!!!!
Seriously I'm going to make you wait until the house is back together before I post anymore pictures, it really helps my sanity and anxiety if I don't have to look at the mess, even on the world wide web. Again thanks for stopping by! Next time wipe you feet so you don't make those white tracks everywhere. Damn house guest showing up before the job is finished!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day 2009

Today is mother's day. I am blessed, with two beautiful children, a fabulous husband and my own wonderful mother. What else could I need on this mother's day that God hasn't already given me.
Nothing......well except for my house not to look like this when I wake up in the morning.
But even though my house did look just like that, I was woken up by the two cutest faces in the world....screaming "SAH-PWISE! Happy Mudder's Day!" And then I was given this beautiful handmade bouquet of flowers! My husband is amazing he did this with the kids. He thought of the idea, he bought the materials and then he made it with them. Well actually he and Julia's husband, Jeremy, got together and made these while we had our girl's night. They also enlisted the help of the babysitters, Carrie and their babysitter Emily. I heard it was a wild time. I couldn't have been more thrilled with this gift, I will cherish it always. The kids were very proud of their work and I was very proud of their dad's.

So today we headed to Mimi's house to spend the day in the sun and cool off in the pool. We were very sad Mimi and Poppa weren't there to swim with us, but their pool sure was fun!

Noah loves the water and is a little fish!

Meredith was happy to spend the day with her new neighbor and best friend Grace. The girls had a lot of fun.

This mother's day was very low key and very relaxing. Thank you Josh, I love you so much!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

The play by's what happened

So since most of you asked for the play by play, I should totally be posting pictures of the huge disastrous mess. Yes, it is that bad. Much worse than I EVER expected. But I have to be honest when I tell you that I was totally looking at this renovation process through rose colored glasses before it started, my friend. What a fool I was, but damn they were mighty good rose colored glasses. Yes, those glasses allowed me to foresee myself sipping lemonade out of a crystal clear glass, in my cool house, while watching the men lay really clean brick in a few hours time span - minus the mud, dust and muck.

Yes, just me and my lemonade and my rose colored glasses. Well my friends I am here to tell you that is not the case. My house is covered in a thick layer of white, filmy dust. I have swept and wiped and yet if you rub your hand over any surface in this entire house, you can still feel the ickiness that oozes off the counters and floors. Everything is covered. The men and the people who live here make cute little white tracks all over my rich Brazilian cherry wood floors.

The tracks go from the disaster zone to the kitchen and then some go around through the dining room to the bathroom, and the playroom and my bedroom. And some go up the stairs where it ends at the carpet, and really I am sure they carry on, but those are the special invisible tracks that are forever embedded in my carpet.

Oh the renovation I was so excited about has turned into my own personal hell. Why do people do this to themselves? IT is easier to move people. IT IS easier to clean your home and show it day in and day out, then to live in this hellish nightmare.

So yes, I should be posting pictures of the new fireplace, or the area I insisted they brick against my contractors better judgement and then the pictures after I asked them to remove the brick from that very same place. Or the wall that is slightly sloping or the wall after I made them fix the slight slope. Or the archway that is beyond gorgeous. Or the hole in the sheetrock where the electrical used to be, that I am hoping they will magically patch. Or the electrical cord that is running along my ceiling for the new light I am having installed that I am hoping will be hidden by the brick. Or the various places my walls are covered in mud and crud. Or the places that holes are now where baseboards used to be and will need to patched. Or my new firebox made of brick or my new harth that is gorgeous and brick.

Yes, I should post all those pictures, but I am not for a few reasons.

1. I left my camera at my mom's with the pictures on it

2. instead of taking the time to get it and post pictures I went out to dinner and had drinks and then saw a movie with the girls to try and restore some of my sanity

3. I'm just too tired from laying in my bed at night an fretting over what the finished product will look like and whether or not at night it will rain and wet the brick and delay the completion of the job one more day.

4. I just can't look at the mess one more second today, even through pictures.

So I promise the pictures will come soon, before next month, but not today. Today I just need the mess to go away and question why I ever started this shit to begin with!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

We have brick!

Yesterday the brick went up, about a third of the way up at least. And my new fireplace was built. My entire living area is covered in visquine and cardboard type floor. There is dust, dirt and crud everywhere. I cannot wait until June. I am not banking on them making their 2 week deadline, so I am just holding out for next month when hopefully all is complete.

So tell me internets, do you want to wait for the dramatic before and afters, or do you want a play by play? I can't decide, should I post a little everyday or just wait until I am sane again and my house is in one piece with gorgeous reclaimed, old Chicago brick everywhere?

Monday, May 4, 2009

Most common complaint about being a stay at home mom

I often hear from other moms that the most common complaint about our job is boredom. Being home with one or two toddlers, no adult interaction, the same books, puzzles, toys, the same routine day in and day out. While most of that is true, I can't say that I am bored. No losing my mind is definitely more like it, take today for example.

My house is in the beginning of a renovation. It is now torn up to the point of not being livable, and no where near being complete. I have some workers here, who do a lot of standing around and waiting on the another guy, a lot of banging and some who just hang visquine everywhere.

I have a 17 month old who wants to get his tools and go help, hell he would love to bang on some stuff, but his mom is always saying "No, No Noah!" He just can't help himself and stay out the room. I am actually allowing the banging and he is dying to partake.

I have a great friend who is moving today and I offered to keep her 3 year old and bring her to gymnastics, lunch, dance and dinner, since she graciously kept my two all day and did the same thing when I went to my grandmother's funeral.

I also have my own three year old who is thrilled that her friend is here for the day, let's just say if I could bottle their energy and excitement and sell it I would be a rich woman.

After our trip to gymnastics and the eatery with a germ infested play structure McDonald's, I came home with high hopes that the children hyped up on caramel dipping sauce would nap. That was a no go. The girls laid down watching Little Mermaid while I took Bubs up for his nap. I laid him down and started on laundry.

After 45 minutes he was still standing, the workers were still banging and the girls were still giggling. I attributed the noise to his lack of napping and the girls well who isn't happy when their friend is over. I then looked very closely into his video monitor and noticed he was playing in his crib sans diaper. I rushed up to put a new one on before he made a huge mess.

Yes, I was too late. There was, for lack of a better word, shit everywhere. His hair, his pillow, the sheets, his blankets, his crib. Everywhere. When I walked in he pointed to a large clump in the middle of his bed and said "uh-oh." Yes, little man --- uh-oh is right or oh shit - whichever is age appropriate, just feel free to use it.

I scooped him out, ran a bath, cleaned him, bathed him, and dressed him. I then began to tackle the bed when I heard two loud piercing screams coming from my room. I had left the girls in my room with Ariel and told them if anyone walked in to scream and come get mommy. So I grab Noah and rushed downstairs almost killing myself to get there. I run to my room and open the door and their sit two little girls with big grins on their faces.

I explain that they only scream in an emergency and if someone comes in mommy's room while I am upstairs. They nod in understanding and back up I go to finish the stripping of the bed. I get it done and lay Noah back down where he is still saying "dadadadadada."

I am off to fetch some snacks for the girls and perhaps sit on my butt for a minute while they eat them. Who said staying home with your kids was boring? If you think so feel free to bring your tikes over and help me.

Two Cool Cats

Sunday, May 3, 2009

I don't know what happened... but I like it!

For the past several months, my tikes are at the age where they can both play. Notice I didn't say play together, because Noah's playing is not sophisticated enough for Meredith's taste. However Noah is at an age where he can play by himself or more so wants to play with his big sister. This normally resorts to lots of fighting, mainly due to the fact that Meredith doesn't want Noah touching what she is playing with, Noah is not playing like Meredith wants him to play, or Noah gets frustrated and starts biting or pinching....which causes screaming and tantrums on both ends.

However something happened this weekend....the tikes actually played together. Maybe it is because Noah is bigger or talking more. Or Meredith realized most of the time he is a really good play mate. Or maybe they realized their dad was working all weekend and their momma needed a break. I'm not sure what it was, but damn do I like it.

Yesterday they played with stack able cups forever, then they played with the ponies, the took turns pushing each other in the stroller and this morning they played for 3 hours together without one fight! They hid in the closet and read books, they played with the train table and babies, they played with trucks and cars and they played and played and played.

I hope this trend continues forever.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Bigger is better, right?

So for Christmas, I got my husband a grill. Or to be honest I was swamped with two kiddos and told my husband I had planned on getting him a new grill, since his other (3 year old) gas grill was broke. He in turn went to the store and got himself a new gas grill, from me for Christmas. Are you following?

We were going to put the grill together in January, but then we thought about moving, so the new grill sat in a box until last weekend.

Since the house was off the market we were free to live in it again and decided we wanted to eat some ribs off the grill. So Josh spent most of the morning putting it together so he could cook on it. We then marinated the meat and went to fire up the grill. No flame. The damn thing was either broke or not hooked up right. Josh went ahead and called my dad over who looked at it with Josh and it was apparent that it was connected correctly. So they literally threw it in the back of the truck and took it back to the store 6 months later and returned it.

After that Josh saw the error of his ways with a gas grill and decided to go after a Big Green Egg.

My dad has been having one for awhile and has always tried to sell my propane loving husband on them. However Josh was never convinced. But after having to very expensive gas grills break for no apparent reason - he decided charcoal and the egg were the way to go.

So one afternoon Josh took the kids to the local green egg store and bought a new egg. I asked which one he got, the large egg which can cook enough food for a large family or the extra-large egg which can cook enough for an entire neighborhood.

It looks like next week we will be feeding our entire neighborhood, come on by if you are in the area.

This was delivered to my garage. I tried to convince the 3 men it took to get it out of the truck and into my garage to get it to my back porch. Since I had no cash and the only way to get the 250+lb egg to the back porch was through my house on my very $$ wood floors, they opted not too. Oh well, now Josh needs to find someone to help him transport his egg..... wonder if our new neighbors want to come for dinner?
The egg and the table, yes we got a table too. It should be covered in 14karat gold in my opinion for what they charge.
The damn thing is massive!

Who is coming for dinner?