A Natural born Hiker

So one of our many adventures during our Spring Break week was to take a hike around the beautiful Lake Martin.  It was roughly a 4  mile hike.  Maybe a little more, maybe a little less.  Anyway we all started off strong.  Meredith ran ahead and was the Leader of the pack with Uncle Alex and her Nanny.  Noah hiked a little with them and a little with his dad and occasionally hung back with me and his Mimi.  Approximately three quarters of the way through, Margot decided she wanted to be carried and Noah decided he did too.  Unfortunately Alex was way ahead with Meredith and Margot had secured the prominent position on top of Josh's shoulders.  Which led to Noah having to hike with me and his Mimi.  Now let me just say this hike was a rugged hike.  Mimi fell once...and we all laughed.  She used a walking stick for most of it.  You went up a lot of steep hills and down the same.  You walked along the edges of some pretty steep drops down to the lake.  You went over trees and log bridges.  It was very natural and rugged terrain.  Probably not the best hike for a 3 and 6 year old, but the views were breathtaking.  That being said we were thinking we were almost through and then we kept going....then we thought it has to be almost done....and nope.  So after doing this thing of psyching ourselves out...out of the blue....Noah chimes....


When I started this hike I was Awesome....and now.....now.....now I'm just BULLSHIT!  BULLSHIT, that's all I am.

And everyone who wanted to go on this hike is BULLSHIT too!

My mom and I were rolling, it almost became impossible to finish due to the hysterics... but after another mile or so we and Mr. Bullshit had completed the hike.

What he Says.....Private Parts - A Hysterical Conversation

The other day Noah rushed in....

"Momma my privates are bleeding!"

"What?!?!?"

"My PRIVATES are BLEEDING!!!!"

"Calm down and let me see."

My very modest child, pulls down his britches and shows me the bleeding...it's not his privates....it's the skin on his body above them....a tiny little scratch that is not indeed bleeding.

"Buddy, your privates are not bleeding, you just have a little scratch....you are okay."

Insert my overly dramatic two year old, who is not modest...in fact she wears her "shakabooty" all the time."

"My pwivates are bweeding too!  My pwivates are bweeding too, Momma!"

"Are not Margot!"

"Yes dey are Wo-wah...Wook mom....Yes dey are!"

"Let me see."

Hurries to pull down her britches too....afterall she loves her "shakabooty";  while my overly-sensitive, very concrete 5 year old complains she doesn't know what the hell she is talking about.

"Margot your privates ARE NOT BLEEDING....in fact YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE PRIVATES!"

"Noah, yes she does have privates."

"Yes Wo-wah I do have pwivates.....see and it's bweeding!"

"What that little butt right there....that's not privates."

"Yes, buddy that little butt right there is her privates....it's called a vagina.... and Margot it's not bleeding, we have several years for that."

"See Wowah!"

Freaking Shit - What he says...

My sweet Noah LOVES to talk.  Actually that may be the understatement of the year.  Talking is as necessary to Noah as breathing.  If his eyes are open he is chatting you up.  Most days I feel like I should send him to preschool with ear plugs for his teacher.  Quiet days are they days when he is absent I am told.

Yes, the boy loves to talk.  He ask a million questions a day, I used to know the answers to his questions, but lately I have to say "I don't know" or "We can look that up when we get home."  He also describes everything he sees or has experienced.  He loves to re-tell me all about his day at school and all about what he did that day and what he learned.  I love that part.  And when we play, his imagination soars and he leaves out nothing, I hear every detail about what he is imagining.  He is so descriptive it's like he is painting a picture with his words and when he describes it, I can see it perfectly.  He is inquisitive, descriptive, detailed and chatty. 

Most of my conversations with Noah are pretty entertaining.  He makes me laugh on a daily basis.  He also warms my heart on a daily basis as well.  Not a day goes by that he doesn't express sweetness towards me and his sisters.  And if you don't have a good reply for him, he will often provide you one to say.  He tends to do this alot, some might call him bossy.  He's thoughtful, caring, sensitive, a little bossy and very chatty.

Noah and I had a conversation last week about the birds and the bees that I had to actually stifle my laughs.  The conversation was a hoot, but one to be expected from my little guy.  I stifled my laughter though, because I didn't want him to think it was a funny topic, even though what he said was funny. He did not intend for it to be funny, he was quite serious.  But it was a hilarious one none the less, definitely one for the baby book.  So Noah remind me to tell you about that one, one day.  Especially since I don't know where you baby book is.  And sorry Internets, I won't share that one here, because I love my Noah and he does deserve some privacy, but I will share this gem, one about him using his favorite expression...."freaking shit."  This was an actual conversation that occured in the yukon last week while driving home from dinner.

(and finally a picture where my little man is not talking and you can tell he is barely keeping his mouth shut!)

"Noah, bud, if you talk like this all the time next year at your big school, you might get a few red lights or yellow lights."

"What's a red light?  I like red lights?  Like traffic lights?"

"No Noah, red and yellow lights are not good, they are when you are in trouble!"  scolded Meredith

""What?!?  Red lights ARE traffic lights, I love red lights!"

"No buddy, red and yellow lights mean no treasure box"

silent,thoughtful pause

"Red lights are freaking shit!"

"Well Josh I guess we should be more concerned about blue lights and phone calls home with that language!"

"Noah you can't say those things at school next  year." scolded Josh

"Nope Bud, you have to save those choice words for at home."

And in the words of Noah today was some freaking shit.  Both girls had surgery.  Both are doing great.  Thanks for the thoughts and prayers, but I'm so glad that freaking shit is over.  Hmmm, wonder where my Noah picked up that language.

What he says....Prayers

Noah:  Momma today at music I said my prayers.

You did buddy?

Yep, I closed my eyes and bowed my head and said dem.

What did you pray for man?

I prayed dat God would send cinnamon rolls down from heaven.  silent pause  But he didn't.

What he says....My Noah

In regards to my white yukon....as reported by a teacher at school.

Noah, what does your car look like?

"My car.....it wooks wike a big, white unicorn!"

...........................................................................................

In regards to turning fast

"Mom just hurry and turn fast.....Dad hold on to your big head!"

.......................................................................................................................

In regards to the toaster

"No giddy.  you have to get your own....Mom giddy needs a pop tart!"

"Hold on giddy.....Momma has to cook it in da oven......not da oven.....da.......da pop tart oven!"

............................................................................................................................................

In regards to being corrected

"Mamma I just want to ask you one wittle ques-dun......"

"What?"

"Mamma I love you!"

A little bit of Noah - what he says

You brought someone with you today?

Yeah

Well who is this?

Its my wittle sister.

What's her name?

Noah.

No silly boy she wants to know what your sister's name is not yours.

Oh her name is butter-bean.

Yeah, buddy that's her nickname, but tell her what her real name is.

It's Mar-giddy.

Well I tried, but Meredith is still ta-ta and Margot will forever be Butter-bean or Mar-giddy.

What he says....so Noah

MOMMA....I go ow-side.

No baby not right now.

Puh-weaz Momma I go ow-side.

No, noah we are not going outside...we are leaving to go to school in a minute.

I go ow-side and I no in and ow.....okay I PWOMISE!

******

MOMMA! because everytime he says this he screams it

Momma...can you turn on da wight in da payroom....cause I a wittle person dat can't weach!"

*****

When you guys come inside I'm going to throw both of you dirty birds in the tub.

No Momma....don't frow us....put us in gent-LY!

******

Momma....I wove you....you da best momma!

what he says....dreams

Every morning we like to talk about dreams.  Most mornings Meredith reports on her scary dreams and Noah sits pretty quietly.  Last night Meredith and her little friend Grace had a sleepover at Mimi's.  Then bright and early this morning I dropped Noah off at Mimi's to go sit with my friend while my goddaughter got tubes.

When the girls awoke at Mimi's they were telling Mimi about their dreams.  Then Noah piped up.

"Wast night I dweam I fall out my geen bed and bwoke my head.  Den Dokka Hammett fix it!"

Now there is a mighty fine dream!

Only Noah -- what he says

Deep Thoughts

"momma I a boy and ta-ta a girl and you a girl....no you not a girl...you a momma...and tata not a girl....she's a mere-dif.....and I'm a boy and a no-wah"

****

With his Poppa in the driveway riding his jeep

"Hey Noah where you heading"

while pointing to his head "Is wight here poppa"

****

Talking about giving away his pacifier (uh-oh) with his sister

"Noah if you give your uh-oh away like ta-ta did we can go to disney world....you wanna give your uh-oh away?"

"NO Ta-ta I no yike Disney World!"

****

Ice cream sundaes after swimming lessons - my fav

"Hey guys you wanna go get an ice cream"

"YAY YAY ME WANNA ICE CEAM"

"Okay let momma run in and change and we will go"

after getting back in the car

"Okay let's go get a sundae"

"NO MOMMA ice ceam today....not to-ma-ROW....NOT SUNDAY....TOOO-DAY!"

What he says....my new favorite saying

On Monday the kids and I headed back to the ENT to see Dr. H.  We love Dr. H as I mentioned below.  He is "a funny guy" as Meredith would put it.  Anyway when it came to Noah's turn to get in the big chair to have his ears checked out, he jumped right in and sat as still as can be, which is saying a lot for my Noah man who constantly has ants in his pants.  When he was done he told Noah "You can hop down, but you and momma have to come back in, in two weeks to let me see those ears again, okey dokey?"

And Noah looked right up at him with his biggest grin and said "OKIE OKIE!"

To which Dr. H said "Sounds good okey dokey!"

And Noah giggled and again said "OKIE OKIE!"

It's now his new favorite saying and I have to admit, mine too!

What he says....being blue

For mother's day this year we headed over to a friend's house, where we joined lots of other friends for a crawfish boil.  It was a great and relaxing time.  After dinner the kids all decided to take a break and eat some popsicles.  They were red, white and them blue.  Noah sat very still on the top step eating his popsicle.  He got all the way to the end and then noticed that his hand had turned blue from the dripping popsicle.  He was frantic.  If you know Noah, you know he hates his hands dirty....

"MOMMA!"  in his most worrisome whine

"Momma....my hand is bue!" now crying

"Oh baby it's okay"

"No momma, is NOT OKAY....IS BUE!"

And without all the adults had a quick chuckle and I went to console my sweet, blue, baby boy.

what he says....so darn cute!

Today we were outside playing....

Momma, you best my friend!

I sure am doodle!

*****

The other day we were leaving McDonald's and the car next to us was leaking air from it's front tire and almost flat.

Momma what's dat noise?

That's the air coming out of that car's tire....someone's going to be really upset.

Why momma....it bwoke?

Yep baby...it's broke and it's going to be flat and someone is going to be upset.

Momma, where my tools....I fix it!

*****

At my ultrasound appointment yesterday..

Look momma....two babies!  as the tech put up two side by side photos of margot

No doodle, there is only one baby, you are the other baby

No momma....I NOAH!

What he says....he's just too cute!

My little Noah is growing up incredibly fast.  His vocabulary is amazing and there isn't anything he cannot say or express to you.  I wonder where my baby went, because sometimes I feel like he is still approaching his first birthday and not almost 2 1/2.  We are also at a stage where he naps every 3-4th day and when he does he doesn't go to bed until about 10pm.  So even though I know he will turn into a one eyed monster about 4:30pm I don't push the nap.  I just take him outside where he remains my sweet, lovable 2year old.  Thank goodness the weather is finally cooperating!

The other day a rare thing happened.  Both my tikes were grouchy so I put them both in their beds, fully expecting one to fall asleep, totally shocked when they both did.  Two hours later I heard this from the top of the stairs....

"Hello...hello....dood mornin'.....hello....is me......dood mornin'.....hello....is me NOWAH!"

I walked to the bottom of the steps and saw my little man sitting at the top with his tiny, bird legs hanging over the side, with his hands on top his thighs.  He looked so cute I wanted to just gobble him up.  He is my ham bone.  I then ran up to carry down my baby in which he smacked a huge kiss on my cheek, wrapped his little arms tightly around my neck and squeezed with all his 24lb might and said "I wuv you momma!"   Words cannot describe how much I love my little boy!

What he says...some of it is absorbed

Patience is a very big word in our house.  Since Meredith was born it is used daily. 

"God grant me the patience to get through this day."
"Because counting to 10 helps mommy find her patience."
"Meredith have some patience, I will bet there in a minute!"
"Noah, where is your patience?  One second and I will get it!"
"Have Patience.....PLEASE!"

I don't think a day goes by that I don't utter the word patience to someone in this house or to myself.  In fact I don't think a day goes by that Josh doesn't utter it as well.  We are big at instilling patience in our household.  Maybe because my husband has gallons of it and I have none and hope to instill a little into our kids.  I am learning to get some of my own,  having 2 tikes has definitely helped me out.

A little background about what comes next.... At Noah's mother's day out program there is a handicapped door entrance.  It has a red button a few feet in front of it and when you press it, both door magically open.  Lots of parents stand outside the door with very patient children waiting for the doors to shut so the kids can have their turn pressing the magic button.  Not me and my kids, if the doors are already opened we just repress and walk in, I don't have time to wait for them to close and do it.  Most of the time we are rushing.  The rule is Noah presses it on the way in since he stays there and Meredith on the way out.  I established this rule after 3 weeks of them running and fighting over pressing it.  It works for them and me and my sanity.

Anyway today I was caught off guard with what happened...

"come on guys let's go, remember Noah presses the button on the way in Meredith!"

"Noah, hurry, hurry, go press the button!"

we were a good 30 feet away, 3 little kids were coming up quickly behind us, Noah looked over his shoulder at Meredith and said...

"Have pay-shens TATA!"

And that folks is what I call DAMN good parenting!

What they say....random

Momma, when baby Margot cries, I'm gonna say...."It's okay Margot don't cry, it's only a monster!"

****

Noah come put on your shoes.

Why?

So we can go get Ta-ta

NO!

Why?

Cause....cause said so!

****

Noah let's play choo-choo....say okay!

Ohh-kay

Noah you be dis one....say okay!

Ohh-kay

Okay noah now you drive dis way,  Noah now say Stop train

Say top tain!

No, noah don't say "say stop train", just say "stop train!"

Say top tain!

No NOAH!  Say "Stop Train!"

Say top train!

Nevermind Noah just play

Neh-mind baby jus pay!

****

Mom when I grow up I wanna be Beyonce,  I'm gonna sing single ladies too!

Oh bug I  hope one day you are a Beyonce.

Why?

Because then you can take care of mommy!

When you are little? 

Yep when I'm a little old mimi!

****

Momma, momma nuggle.....nuggle!

I lay with my littlest tike

Can you give momma a hug?

No

Why?

Cause said so

I reach over to give him one anyone

mush, Mush, MUSH ME MOMMA! while pushing me away

Noah I'm not smushing you!

Silly baby! giggling all over himself

What he says....to cute!

"Momma, Momma....Under, under....hear it?"

"I hear that thunder"

"Momma, under doe BOOM BOOM!"

21 months old

Yesterday my baby turned 21 months old. Just 3 months shy of 2 years. And today he pooped in the potty.

"Poo Poo pop-pey"

"Do you want to poo poo in the potty man?"

"uh-huh"

"let's go"

And we did, and he did, and Meredith and I cheered and clapped and scared the shit out of him. Literally. Seriously he thought we were insane and he almost cried, then he realized we were freaking ecstatic and he was too. Clapping and saying yay and saying "bid boy!" 21 months old.....21 months. I guess we are possibly ready to start potty training....maybe.

What he says.....the gym

So Noah has been in a gymnastics class for about 3 months now. He loves it, any excuse to run, jump, crawl through tunnels and climb.

The scene: 40 minutes into his 50 minute class

He gets up toddles across the gym passing up the cheerleaders who normally hold his attention for 10 second intervals, past the older boys running to the door. Opens it, turns around and waves to his class of toddlers and yells....

"BYE!" with his cutest Mississippi twang

Then he walks out the gym and to the front door to leave. When the boy is done, he is done.

What she says....during the nap

Repeat the following verbatim in your loudest wailing voice over and over for twenty minutes....

"WAAAA......MY MOMMA TOOK MY PACI.......I DID NOT LET HER.....WAAAAA......I WANT IT BACK..........BRING ME MY PACI BACK RIGHT NOW"

Meredith went to bed two nights ago without her paci with no problem, then yesterday she skipped a nap so there was no issue with the lack of a paci. I want to state for the record that she started Day 1 of operation take away the pacifier on her own.

Last night again to bed without a paci and no crying. Today at nap time she asked for it. I said no. She started with the sobs and tears. I walked out the room. She started yelling the closest thing to profanities she knew. It wasn't heart breaking, it was just plain old anger. She took all of my aggression towards the contractors out on me when I took the paci away. I felt much better after her episode. It was violent I tell you. Twenty minutes later she was out. No paci. Score one for the momma.

Tonight again to bed without a paci. Score two for momma.

what she says - a baby sister

Tonight I was babysitting a friend's two pouty princesses. Meredith is love with the baby princess and wants one of her very own. As she was helping me give Marion her bottle here is what she said....

"Momma I wanna go to da store and get one of deese babies tomorrow....okay?"

"Um, baby it doesn't quite work like that."

"No momma I want one of deese.....a girl baby.....just like marion"

"Would you rather a girl or disney world?"

a few moments to ponder this question

"A baby....a girl baby....okay....tomorrow!"

**By the way there is NO baby sister on the way, but we may see about one day. Disney world may happen soon though.