What she says....priceless

How was school today bug?

"It was good, but Mrs. Parvin wasn't there because her son was sick."

Oh that's too bad, who was your teacher since she wasn't there.

"Well it was Mrs. Lisa and Mrs. Katie.......and Mrs. Bustitute."

Mrs Bustitute?

"Yeah Mrs. Bustitute!"

Mrs. Bus-ti-tute.....do you mean Mrs. Substitute?

"Oh yeah, that's it!"

What she says....in the hospital room

Upon seeing her sister for the first time, she screamed....

"Where's her legs...she don't got legs...SHE HAS A TAIL!"

After laughing hysterically, we explained that she did indeed have legs, she was just in a gown and wrapped up in a blanket.  She calmed down when I showed her two cute, little chubby legs.

*******

Upon seeing her momma for the first time since having the baby....

"Mom do you got ANUDDER BABY IN YOUR BELLY?"

"No, I just had the baby"

"Well den who is in your belly?"

"nobody"

"Well it sure looks like anudder baby!"

And that my friends is what you call honesty.

what she says....hooking up

Yesterday Meredith unintentionally said the most hysterical thing.  It sent Josh and I into a fit of giggles and poor baby, bless her heart, had no idea why.  Josh immediately corrected her, because she is getting to the age where her peers may also laugh at her mis-use of words.  I know this is best, but a big part of me is going to miss all those made up words.  Like ambulancer or fosa(sofa). 

So yesterday my baby girl had a bad case of the hiccups.  I had heard them off and on all day, her dad just getting in didn't hear them to know what she meant right away.

After a big hiiii-cuuup she said...
"Man I got these hook ups real bad!"

Josh stared at her wide eyed having no clue what she was talking about and a little afraid since his 4 year old was talking about hooking up, until we heard hiiii-cuuuup.  Then we giggled silently as she walked out, because she hates it when you laugh at her!

The innocence of a child - what she says

Yesterday we headed down to Nola to visit my grandpa.  It had been a couple of months and I was anxious to see him.  The weather wasn't great, but we made the trip anyway.  After a great visit we decided to play tourist in my hometown.  We took the tikes to the Children's Museum, then to get some beignets, walk along the river and then to ride the streetcar....Noah's favorite.  While on our walk to get beignets, Meredith asked if Tiana would be there.  It caught me off guard at first, but then I caught on and told her maybe or perhaps she was out spending the day with Prince Naveen.  Josh piped up and added she was probably in the kitchen cooking the delicious beignets.  After eating pure yumminess, we headed to the streetcar and then for our long drive home. 

That night when Meredith was in bed saying her prayers she asked this...

"Dear Jesus, thank you for a wonderful day, I want to pray for all my family and all the people on earf.  And God I have a question....Where was Princess Tiana today....I didn't see her?"

Brother's & Sisters...the love...what she says

I really want to regale you with all our spring break tales from Chattanooga Internets...I also took 300+ pictures and was actually going to get them off my camera to share with you.....seriously I was.  However I got home to a broken dryer and loads of dirty laundry and then was hit by a massive stomach bug that had me hugging my toilet continuously for 2 days. I shipped the tikes off to my moms, so they wouldn't get this and so that my dear husband would only have 1 sick baby to deal with.  I am not the best patient when he is around....I need loads of attention.  Today I am feeling better, much better, not back to normal, but better....I can't wait to see my tikes today!

Anyway I promise Chattanooga will not be forgotten and I will share our adventure with you soon!  But first I had to share this.  Yesterday morning after being up all night throwing up, I was exhuasted, sick as a dog and still vomiting.  Josh repeatedly offered to cancel his clinic and stay home, but I knew there were people who needed him yesterday too, people who cancelled work and made arrangements to drive long ways to see him, so I shipped him off to work with the promise I would call my mom for help.  At 8am I called my mom and she said she would be over shortly.  At 7:30 my biggest tike crawled into bed with me. 

"Momma you sick"

"uh-hu"

"Why?"

"I don't know bug"

"You frowing up?"

"Yeah"

"Okay I'll take care of you"

With that we soon heard the smallest tike calling for me from his bed.  My mom wasn't here yet and I had absolutely no energy to get out of bed and go upstairs and get him.  None.  I know the little booger can open his own door to his room and make it down the stairs by himself like a pro, but in the mornings he likes me to go up there and cuddle with him and then carry him down.  Today though that just wasn't happening.  

"Hey bug, do you think you can go upstairs and get Noah to help momma?"

"Why?  because you sick"

"Yeah"

"Okay"

as she is marching up the stairs
"NOAH....NOAH, here comes tata!"

she walks into his room

"Good morning wittle man!  It's tata...wanna go see momma?"

"Momma....uh-hu"

"Come on"

"Bankie...and uh-ohs" 

"Tata's got em, come on."

They get to the top of the steps where he apparently sits with his blankie waiting for me....I hear him call out for me a few times and I wish like hell I had any energy to go scoop him up.

"Come on Noah, follow tata....frow me your bankie"

"No, not like that frow it hard"

she walks up the steps and throws her own

"See Noah like dis....frow it hard all the way down....then walk downstairs and get it ....see like tata"

she walks down to show him

"Come on Noah frow your bankie....no harder....sigh of frustration"

she is now going back upstairs

"NOAH WHY AM I WALKING UP HERE AGAIN!"

"Here tata will frow you bankie....now lets go!"

As I listened to her taking care of him, for me,  it occurred to me how great of a big sister she already is and how she will only get better as she grows up!  I love my big girl!

A few seconds later they both came running in my room, him beaming for his momma and her beaming from a job well done!  Siblings are great!

What they say....random

Momma, when baby Margot cries, I'm gonna say...."It's okay Margot don't cry, it's only a monster!"

****

Noah come put on your shoes.

Why?

So we can go get Ta-ta

NO!

Why?

Cause....cause said so!

****

Noah let's play choo-choo....say okay!

Ohh-kay

Noah you be dis one....say okay!

Ohh-kay

Okay noah now you drive dis way,  Noah now say Stop train

Say top tain!

No, noah don't say "say stop train", just say "stop train!"

Say top tain!

No NOAH!  Say "Stop Train!"

Say top train!

Nevermind Noah just play

Neh-mind baby jus pay!

****

Mom when I grow up I wanna be Beyonce,  I'm gonna sing single ladies too!

Oh bug I  hope one day you are a Beyonce.

Why?

Because then you can take care of mommy!

When you are little? 

Yep when I'm a little old mimi!

****

Momma, momma nuggle.....nuggle!

I lay with my littlest tike

Can you give momma a hug?

No

Why?

Cause said so

I reach over to give him one anyone

mush, Mush, MUSH ME MOMMA! while pushing me away

Noah I'm not smushing you!

Silly baby! giggling all over himself

what she says....a love story

Seven years ago this very month, Mommy and Daddy met.  Daddy was a doctor and Mommy was a speech therapist at Charity hospital in New Orleans.  Daddy helped the sick people feel better and Mommy helped them learn to eat and swallow and talk again after they were sick.  That's where we met.  Then we fell in love, got married, had baby Meredith, then baby Noah and now we are about to have baby Margot or Camping.

Mommy can you tell me dat story again?

Sure.....repeat the above verbatim as verbatim as I could remember.

Mommy I love dat story.  Can you tell me it again?

Okay one more time.....Seven year ago this very month, Mommy and Daddy...

Wait...Mommy TURN IT LOUDER!

Huh?

I can't hear TURN DA STORY UP LOUDER. (We have bilateral ear infections...poor baby.)

Okay...SEVEN YEARS AGO THIS VERY MONTH, MOMMY AND DADDY....REPEAT THE REST OF THE STORY VERBATIM

Mommy I love dat story. 

Me too baby, it was a New Orleans love story. 

Can I be a New Orleans love story too?

Sure!

Okay Noah can be da doctor and help people and I will be da speech tere-ra-tist like you.

The speech therapist?

Yeah, da speech teratist and teach people how to talk and walk and eat.

Sounds good.  Mommy can I be da doctor too? 

Of course!

And da speech teratist.  

If you want, you can be anything. 

Okay. 

Mommy why you weren't da doctor?

Because it was easier to stay home with you one day being the speech therapist.

Okay I'll be da speech teratist and stay home with you when you are little.

Sounds good buggy!

I love how they think at this age....so logical.

What she says.....a rendition of our nighttime prayers

Dear Jesus,

I know you get to pick if it's a boy or a girl, PLEASE remember I ALREADY have a brudder.

Fank you,
Meredith

****

Dear Jesus,

I know I am eider getting a Margot baby or a Camping baby....I would love a Margot baby.  I already got a brudder!

Love you,
Meredith

****

Dear Jesus,

I do want a healfy baby....I also want a girl baby.  But I know it might be a boy.  Please remember I already have a brudder.

Love,
Meredith


****

Any guesses on what sex she wants the new baby to be.  And yes, if it is a girl Margot is a strong consideration for a girl name.  In fact it is almost 99% going to be that.  I also have her middle name picked out.  As for a boy I am 100% sure we will not be naming him Camping, nor will we name him Bargo which is her second choice!

what she says....In which she becomes her mother

Let me start this off by saying in college, I made what some people (uh-hm my mother) would call a very poor decision.  Let's be honest, I made several poor decisions in college, but this one really stands out to some people (uh-hm again my mother.)  At 19 I got a tattoo.  Yes, a real one, one that hurt like all get out going on.  It's small well smallish, it could almost be covered by a quarter, but not quite, and oh it's on my derriere.  Yep, got a permanent Phi Mu stamp right above my derriere on the right side.  What can I say, damn sorority girls.

For five years I concealed it very well in front of my mother, always picking bathing suits that hid it or jeans that didn't go that low when I was in front of her, until that one fateful day at a camp on Lake Pontchartrain.  That day I didn't do to good a job, to be honest I'd had it so long and had kind of forgotten about it.  Oh well, now she is taking it to the grave, right mom?

So that brings me to today.  Today Meredith brought a gift to her little friend in dancing whose princess party we missed Friday afternoon due to the swine flu.  Yes, she was devastated.  The little girl had brought Meredith some of her princess party favors.  The favor included a glittery princess wand, princess socks and 3, yes 3 princess tattoos!  My 3 1/2 year old was in love!  She got in the car declaring "Oh I just love it, love it, love it!"

"Mom can we put on my tattoo now?"

"Huh?"

"My new tattoos from my friend"

"What you know about tattoos girlfriend?"

giggling

"Momma, can we put it on now?"

"No bug, we can put them on at home because we need water to put them on."

"Momma you got a tattoo"

"Yep, I do"

"Momma your tattoo is on your heiny cakes" that's our fancy word for booty

"Yes it sure is!"

About 30 minutes later we arrive home.

"Momma, can we put on my tattoos now?"

"Yeah bring it here, where do you want it, right here(pointing to her upper arm) or right here (pointing to her lower arm)?"

"No Momma!  I want it on my heiny cakes just like you!"

At that point I started imagining her pulling her panties down to show her little friend where she put her new princess tattoo and then telling everyone about her momma's.

"But if we put it there you won't be able to see it, see momma can't see hers."

"Okay, put it here" pointing to a very acceptable arm location with a sad face

Thankfully hers will wash off, maybe at 15 she will still believe mine does too!

What she says.....Three year old drama

This truly happened....

"Meredith if you keep it up we will not read books tonight......I mean it, we will just say prayers and sing the goodnight song.....no books.....stop throwing a fit or WE WILL NOT READ BOOKS!"

Well lately I realized I am a big ball of threats that are not carried out......the fit continued.

"That's it, no books tonight. Let's go march up the steps....no books"

"BUT I WANT BOOKS.....WAH!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Nope, sorry, I told you, you were going to lose books....that's it."

She stops crying, we brush her teeth, she climbs in her bed, I climb in too, she is actually smiling, we sing the good night song, I say her prayers with her, I give her a big kiss and go to leave the room. The wailing starts.

Josh explains..."Meredith, Mommy is not reading you a book, here are your books, you can read them if you want, but you lost that privilege tonight. Do you know why?"

"WAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO READ.....DAT'S NOT FAIR!"

All of this because I filled a pink sippy cup for her to bring to bed and she wanted the princess one. When I refused to switch and dirty an additional cup she lost it, she never recovered, despite the fact of losing her "mommy reading books to me" privilege. Life is never dull.

What she says - Prayers

Last night we were saying our nightly prayers, which I always follow up with by asking everyone what they want to pray with. Meredith has now started that ritual by being the one to ask. She starts with Noah and he always prays for Ta-ta. Then she ask both Josh and then myself. After she is done I ask her...she normally prays for her friends, family, animals, her monkeys and whatever I pray for. Last night was a different story though....

"Meredith what do you want to pray for?"

"Um a little boyfriend, just my size for me to dance with."

That's my girl!

What she says....favorite quote from the summer

"Dude....step away from dacouch!"

"What?"

"Mom...Dude....step AWAY from da couch"

What she says....priceless

Tonight Meredith was playing "doodlebops." There is no specific game, it's just where each member of the family gets to be a different doodlebop. Tonight Josh was Rooney, Noah was Mo and Meredith and I were both DeeDee.

All of a sudden Meredith ran up the stairs to get something and on her way down she tumbled and went down head first. I saw it in slow motion and I knew she wasn't hurt badly. She hit the floor and was stunned in silence, this is one of the few if only time she has fallen down the stairs. After a few miliseconds Josh and I reacted so she did too, she started sobbing.

"Meredith are you okay....did you hurt yourself....Meredith, baby are you okay?"


sobbing, sobbing sobbing "I'm not Meredith.......I'm DEEDEE!" in the most pitiful sobbing voice ever.

What she says.....lesson learned

One morning this past week, I was getting dressed and as usual the tikes were in the playroom. I heard talking and squealing and "vroom, vroom'ing." Then all of a sudden I heard complete silence, which was completely unusual. It took a few minutes to figure out that all I heard was silence and then put two and two together.....silence meant trouble.

I walked to the playroom and peaked my head in and low and behold there was green paint everywhere. The floors, the tikes, the toys, the dresser, the bookcases. And in the middle, there they sat.....studiously painting everything with paint brushes and utter concentration on their faces......in complete silence.

"Uh-hm"

Two very big brown eyes and two happy blue eyes, stared up at me with a look of terror and joy, respectively. I didn't say a word.

"I'm sorry Momma"

"Do we paint without permission?"

"No"

"Then why are you and Noah painting right now?"

"I dunno"

"Who got the paint"

silence and the lip came out

"Mama mama mamamama"

"Did Noah get the paint out of the top draw"

A fearful head nod no. I picked up the paint and paint brushes leaving the room and tried not to lose my cool. As I walked out, Meredith was apologizing and Noah started screaming, he was not happy that his art lesson was over. I tried not to let the daily grind get to me. On top of getting ready and having to get two tikes ready to head out the door, now I had to clean up a gigantic mess in the toy room. You would be surprised what two tiny tikes could cover in five minutes with a large container of forest green paint. But just as the steam started to come through my ears and the frustrated growls were about to creep out, I heard this while washing the brushes and getting wet rags.

"No-wee don't cwy, it's okay......don't cwy no-wee we will play with someting else......okay noah we can play someting else......ssshhh.......here noah, here play wit dis."


"WAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAA"

"Shhh it's okay Noah, here play wit dis, play wit sitter"

And at that moment the steam evaporated and the growls turned into a smile. While I was not happy about the green mess and green tikes to clean, it really wasn't the worst thing in the world, actually not too bad at all. Not bad enough to ruin everyones day at 8am. Life is way too short for that. Instead I walked in and said it was okay and cleaned up the mess with two very eager helpers. Don't get me wrong I have moved all the paint from the top drawer in the toy room, see I learned a very valuable lesson.

what she says...the beach

"I don't wanna go eat, I wanna play in da snow some more!"

What she says......thinking

"Momma I wanna snack"

"What do you want?"

"I wanna snack pwease."

So I open the box of Brownies and petit fours and turtles....well what's left of them.

"Pick one!"

"No, pick three?"

"No, I said pick one"

"Pick two?"

"Meredith, pick one or I will put them away"

After a few seconds and a lot of deliberations, she chooses one of the two remaining chocolate petit fours.

"I wan dis one"

"Good choice"

I then go about wiping down the dust from the counters for the 875th time this week. After enough time to consume a chocolate petit four....

"Oh no.....I dwopped it!!! Bwownie ate it!!!! OH NO!!!!" no tears though, it was kind of a weird, very calm reaction from my daughter who supposedly dropped her cake and watched the dog eat it. Normally that is followed by tears and uncontrollable sobs.

"Did you drop it?"

"Yeah I get a-nudder one?" reaching for the last chocolate petit four

"Sure get another one"

This time I watch as she eats all the chocolaty goodness and makes a bigger mess all over her hands and face. As she finishes the last bite....

"Oh no Momma, I think I dropped it again."

"You think you dropped it?"

"Yes, I think I dropped it and Bwownie ate it"

"Oh yeah" looking at her with those eyes....we have had a lot of discussions about Pinocchio and fibs lately

"Well......I think I ate it, yeah I think so momma"

"Yeah me too" And a big mischeavious grin crosses her face.

What she says....At least she's honest

Meredith and her little friend Adalyn in a private conversations....

Adalyn - "My house is always clean."

Meredith - "Well my house is NEVER clean"

what she says....on a date

Today I took Meredith to the pediatrician to make sure her ears were clear.....they were, thank goodness. After we headed out in the great deluge to eat at pizza hut, before another appointment. It's been a very long time since just me and my girl went to lunch alone. We were able to sit at the high bar table that we normally can't since a high chair won't reach. Meredith was thrilled. I also let her pick her own pizza like a big girl and she placed her own drink order, she was in heaven. As we were sitting eating our pizza I looked at her and said...

"Bug you and I are on a date"

"No mom, dis is not a date place, dis is a hungry place"

"Well yeah it's a restaurant, but we are on a date here"

"No momma it is not a date place, it is a HUNGRY place....you eat here"

Got it!

What she says.....breathing

Big Yawn on the way home from playing at her friend Grace's house

"Bug you must be so tired, that was a big yawn"

"No momma, I not tired, I just breathing"

"Oh....gotcha"

An ongoing battle - what she says

"Meredith, did you see what Marion was wearing today?"

She ignores me, while looking straight at me like I'm nuts....seriously

"Meredith, did you see what Marion had on today at the zoo?"

"A dress!"

"She did, didn't she look beautiful"

"uh-huh"

"Marion had on the most beautiful dress"

"And I had on the most beautiful shirt momma!"

At least I try! I really thought I had a few more years before she began protesting against dresses, I mean her beloved princess Aurora wears them. But nope not her, she will only put them on for church (because she thinks she has no choice) and if I bribe her (and most of the time that doesn't work either). Unfortunately for me all the other little girls in her class wear shorts and pants to school, so telling her she that she has to wear a dress to school doesn't really work. All those smocked dresses just hanging in the closet.....sigh!