When you are a mother, sometimes you eat your words

One of the few things I have learned about motherhood is to never say never when it comes to your children. If you do....you WILL inevitably eat your words. I don't make statements like... "my children will never....", "I will never do ..... for my children", or any other sentence with the words children and never anymore. Yes I have eaten my words....probably more than once, but last night I ate them big time!

When I was pregnant with Meredith we didn't think we were going to find out the sex so I did a really generic nursery (yellows and greens). I know not very creative or chic like this one, but cute. I also did that nursery on a budget, a resident's budget if you will. My mom bought the crib, the changing table was $25 from a baby store that was on clearance and the dresser was a built in so all Josh and I did was buy the bedding, the rug and the chair. I know, we did spend some money, but no where near what I did with Noah's nursery and Meredith's big girl room.

When my baby turned 17 months she moved into her big girl bed. She has always loved it, never gotten out of it, still doesn't get out of it and I would say transitioned beautifully from day one. So when we bought her "big girl" furniture I went all out and went all out for her bedding too. I had custom bedding, drapes, a shower curtain and window seat made. I spent a small fortune....now I realize this was not the wisest thing to do. However I chose a pattern that wasn't too babyish and could grow with her. That way I wouldn't have to change it again until she was like 10. I am laughing at myself as I type this.

Yes I even did the bathroom to match....a glutton for punishment.

When we discussed the possibility of moving I told Meredith if we moved she could have a pink room. Did I mention my child loves pink? Well she didn't quite get that we aren't moving and so the room stays purple idea. All she heard was PINK ROOM GET! So I told her for her birthday I would make her room pink and make it a princess room. This really made her happy. She has been talking about it for weeks. "Mommy I'm getting a pink princess room?"

Like all 3 year olds she has been brainwashed by Disney and now lives, breathes and eats all things pink, princesses and sparkly. It really is overkill. I extremely dislike Disney. UGH. So when I said Meredith could have a pink princess room I was thinking of this....of course the walls would be pink instead of green, but you get the idea.....

Because no way was my child getting a cartoonish type of bed spread with Disney princesses. I hate those. Don't get me wrong they work fine if you like them, but me.... I have a strange aversion to them and that is where eating my words came in. When I was picking out the fabric for her big girl bedding and she was too little to have an opinion I said...."My child will NEVER have a Disney princess bed spread." Yep, that is what I pretty much said, and for Noah you can insert....batman....spiderman....cars...etc. I don't mind the cute things with cars/trucks on them or fairies/crowns, but the cartoonish ones with the actual characters just make me want to break out in hives.

So yesterday I took my two tikes to Target to get a $16 dry erase calendar. I decided to browse the kids bedding to see if they sold canopies to put in the princess room I dreamed of. We started off by the bathroom stuff and ran into the princess shower curtain, towels, rugs, toothbrush holder and all the other over priced crap. My daughter went nuts.

"OH MY GOSH MOMMA.....LOOK AT DA PRINCESSES! It's for my room?!?!?"

And with that she started shoving it in the basket. So I obliged. I hadn't originally planned on redoing her custom bathroom, but what the hell. I had sold a lot of stationery this month and it was for her birthday.

Then we headed to the bedding aisle to see about the canopy and she saw this.....

Holy mother of God, she had just hit the princess jackpot. I have never seen a 2 year old so happy. Her whole little body lit up and started shaking with excitement and that was it. She was on a princess high that even I couldn't bring down when I refused to let her put it in the basket. She grabbed the twin comforter and cradled it to her body while shrieking in delight and started heading to the check out line. I priced it $32.99. Much cheaper than the pottery barn one I had my heart set on, but this was the one she loved. I thought about letting her getting for .02 seconds and then I told her no. I grabbed the matching sheet set off the shelf and told her she could get that instead. She didn't get discouraged or upset, she simply told me....."No momma, I get dis one for my pink room and my pink bed. I get dis one. I LOVE dis one."

I knew I was now competing with the damn princesses. Damn Aurora in all her pink glory....go ahead and brainwash my kid into thinking she needs all this pink stuff.....her room is a beautiful shade of purple....Why hasn't Disney made a purple princess yet?

So I told her..."Meredith we aren't getting that, it is ugly. Momma picked out a different princess one for you. We will get the sheets and paint your room pink and get the stuff for your bathroom, but we are putting that back." Her heart literally broke right there on the aisle in Target. And I thought to myself, let the girl get what she wants this is her room not yours. And so I did. I ate my words. My daughter has a princess bed. And I am okay with it. Although I am still in love with this one from pottery barn.

When we got home from school today her room was all finished. The first thing she did was run up the stairs to see it. She was in awe. It was the most beautiful things she had truly ever laid eyes on in her mind. She looked at me and said...."See momma, it's not ugly....it's beautiful!"

I have learned not to call anything she loves ugly ever again. And now her room and bathroom look like this. In two weeks, I will paint he damn room pink and I will lay in bed every night wanting to order that damn pottery barn bedding, but I won't. This is her dream room, not mine.

It's part of the job

So there is a situation of sorts going on here in our town that has made my insides churn and literally made me sick. It has brought so much emotion forth in me and made me want to put my tikes in bubbles and never let them see the light of day so they will never be hurt. I realize that this solution is not realistic nor is it what I really want. I want them to grow up free of dangers, illnesses, predators and anything scary. That is also not realistic, so I am going to just do the best job I can and pray for the best outcome.

I think my number one job as a parent is to love my children, to be there for them, to be honest with them and to keep an open line of communication at all times. No matter what choices they make or the roads they take, I will always love them and be there for them, that is my number one responsiblity. I also have to instill moral values in them, good values, values I was taught and raised with. I need to teach them to value life, all life. Their own, their neighbors, their families. I want to teach them right and wrong. That sometimes doing the right thing is the hard thing and the wrong thing is much easier, but that the right thing is the one that counts and they will be rewarded for one day. I want to teach them to dream, but at some point you have to start trying to achieve those dreams. Dreams are great, but they wont' pay the bills or buy you a new car. A person who only dreams and never goes after it, is just as bad as someone who settles and never dreams.

I want to teach them that every action has a consequence or a reaction. That these consequences and reactions are not always good, but necessary. I want to teach them that they will not always make the good choice or decision, but the most important thing is to learn from this bad choice and move forward with a lesson learned. I want them to know the world is a dangerous place, full of dangerous people. That the dangerous people don't always seem dangerous. I want them to listen to that little voice in their head, it is often correct.

I want to teach them to respect themselves first and foremost because if they don't do that, no one else will respect them either. I want them to respect their elders and their peers, even when they may not deserve their respect. I want them to be happy, to smile, to enjoy the little things in life. I want them to live life to the fullest and not waste one minute of this precious time here.

I want to cuddle them and protect them, but since one day they will be on their own and independent I want to give them the tools and knowledge to protect themselves. Even at the tender ages of 1 and 2, I'm going to start doing that. It is never to early to do that and you should to.

Yesterday....Today....Tomorrow

Last night my mom took both of my tikes home with her. I have to say I missed them dearly. I worried about my Noah, he feels like complete crap, I know....I feel the same way. I worried he wouldn't sleep and would miss me. I worried that I was being a terrible mother for not caring for him when he was ill. However I was ill as well. Very ill, in fact I can't remember feeling this bad before. My congestion is so bad even with all those meds, that at times I truly feel like my head may explode. Can you imagine how my poor Noah must feel? I know....heart braking.


However they went home with Mimi and I knew that Mimi would hold him all night if needed and snuggle him and take care of him like her own. Yes, that I was not worried about. So he and Meredith went and they had dinner and spent the night. I laid in bed feeling like death all night. I tossed and turned and thought about how miserable I felt and how I couldn't breathe and how I envied everyone I knew who was feeling well. I did, sorry.


This morning I woke up after about 6 hours of consecutive sleep. Maybe it was 5, but it was the most sleep I have had consecutively in over a week. So I woke up and it was weird.....I didn't have to get two kids up, I didn't have to make breakfast or feed anyone. I only had my own nose to wipe. The only thing I really have to do right now is put this computer down, get up take a shower, brush my teeth and perhaps get dressed. And really I don't even have to do that. Well I do have to before 10am when the kids get home if I want to do it uninterrupted.


And as I sit here here typing this I honestly can't remember what it was like to only have to take care of myself in the mornings. I haven't even been a mother for a full 3 years yet, but at the same time I can't remember what my life was like before they arrived. I feel like I have known and loved these tikes my whole life.


This morning I realized that life changes. Quickly. Tomorrow will never be like today. And even though we may look back on days with fondness, I hope we can look to tomorrow with hope. I believe that the President will lead this nation with his children in mind, with my children in mind, with your children in mind. I hope that he makes this world better for them, that is all I want President Obama. Let's make it happen.

Sexism at its worst!

Today at Target, Meredith got her first dose of discrimination against women. It was not a huge deal and one she probably will not remember, but she felt so passionate about it this morning....her heart was just crushed. We were cruising through the baby section picking up diapers for Noah, getting some more shampoo and baby bath, and just checking things out....when we stumbled across big girl and boy underpants.

Now we are not exactly potty training hard core, but we are trying. One in diapers is enough for me. So we stumble across some big girl panties and big boy undies in the same little section. They have tons of characters.....Curious George, Hello Kitty, Disney Princesses, Elmo, Abby Cadabby and many more. Meredith is amazed.

"Meredith do you want some big girl panties?"

"uh-huh mommy!"

"Are you going to use the big girl potty if we get some panties?"

"uh-huh!" I know this is a lie - we have princess panties at home and they don't work, but hell I'll get more and try!

"What kind do you want?"

She takes a good minute looking them all over, even pointing to a few so I can hand them to her to get a closer look. Finally she shouts.....

"Suuuuuwwwweck! Suuuuuwwwweck!"

I notice at the very top on the left hand side is two packs of boy's undies with Shrek on them. There are no girl's Shrek panties.

"Baby, there aren't any girl's Shrek panties!"

"Peee-ze mommy Suuuuwwwweck!" pointing to the top left corner with a huge grin

"Sweetie those Shreck undies are for boys - they don't have any girl's with shrek on it"

"Suuuuwwwweck for boys!"

"Yeah baby those are for boys."

"Suuuuwwweck for Miz-it!" followed by crocodile tears.

"I know sweetie, you want some Shrek panties and they don't have any for girls -- It Is Not Fair!" I said this loudly as I gently rubbed her back and cuddled her close while giving the male target employee on the same ailse as us a dirty look. I know he does not make the undies and panties, but my baby was crushed it was the only thing I could do that made me feel better.

We headed home with some Curious George and My Little Pony panties. They were poor substitutes for Shrek.

dinner parties with tikes.....yeah, not so good

So we hosted our first "dinner party" since Noah arrived Saturday. We invited over two couples and their kids to play on the big ass play structure and have some steak. 6 adults and 5 kids, we were not even out-numbered and the night when sour, not sure why. The food - delicious, the big ass play structure - fun, my newborn - awesome, my toddler - not so much. It was a rough night, but honestly for some time hanging out with friends so totally worth it.

We bought and prepared tons of food and appetizers, Josh marinated some damn good steaks, unfortunately he forgot to make sure the propane tanks were full on the grill. Read on to see how fun the night gets........

So our friends arrive and immediately Meredith latches on to her mommy and daddy, this was expected.....she is rather shy and slow to warm up. She never did warm up though, she threw one huge fit that started at 3:30pm and lasted until everyone left at 7:30pm. Why? She did not want to share her new "shide". It was "Mizit's shide", did we not know that???? So she would go up into the treehouse and just whine and cry for her "mommy". She was not hurt, hungry, sick or anything else, she is almost two and unfortunately the attitude is all there. After an hour of her whining, it became one of the most irratating sounds I have heard in a long time. I am so not being mean and I love her to death, but really she had friends who actually wanted to play with her in the treehouses and on the slides.....what the hell is wrong???? Noah meanwhile, is peacefully hanging out in his swing with Burke.

Fast forward to about an hour later, the new potatoes are done, the delicious soup Neely brought over is ready, the fresh vegetables that we cooked on the grill are finished....we go to put on the steaks so we can finally eat......oh this nursing momma is some kind of hungry and guess what no flame. Josh can not get it to restart.

"Hmmmm, did you check the propane tank?"

"No, I just assumed it was full." You know what they say about the word assume.....assume makes an ASS out of U and ME.

So he grabs the spare tank in the garage, guess what....empty. Seriously, the rest of the food is all hot and now there are 8 very rare steaks sitting on the grill. Fun times, Fun times! The problem was quickly resolved when Chris ran to the store to fill the tank and get more beer, both of which were needed at this point.

Finally the steaks are done, the food ready, meredith was still whining and the Adalyn and Connor were still playing and having a ball....probably wondering why in the hell she was still crying. After numerous attempts to appease her and many talks about sharing, I did what any frustrated mother would do and deposited her in her bed. The screaming sound really did not sound that bad all the way downstairs.

So here we are, 6 adults ready to eat the delicious, hot food. We are all sitting and who starts crying because he pooped, Noah. Then he just wanted to be held, who could blame the baby who had been sitting in his swing for way too long.

About half way through dinner, Adalyn's little feelings got hurt and she cried, to which Connor politely asked "why's her crying for?" Josh, Jeff and Chris gently explained, that is what women do and don't try to understand it. Katey, Neely and I just laughed. After Adalyn cried, Noah cried, then Burke and then Connor, I think the boys were just feeling a little left out of the crying spell. Not sure what was in that mac and cheese the kids all ate.

About 7:00pm dinner was done, the newborns bellies were full of milk and the toddlers and Connor were all happily eating chips. At that point we sat back and talked about what a fun disaster it was. We are planning another get together real soon.

our lesson for the day.....sharing

This morning I was in the kitchen making some chicken salad for lunch, when Meredith marched in with Elmo. She put Elmo on a bar stool and told him to "sit". She then climbed up on the other bar stool by herself. She looked at me and said...

"Mama, nana pee-ze!"

So I got her a banana and asked if she wanted me to peel it for her.

"uh-huh! pee-ze" (I have learned that with a toddler you always have to ask.)

I gave her the banana and then she looked at me and said..........

"mama, Melmo nana."

So I asked her if Elmo wanted a banana too.

"uh-huh"

I then told her she would have to share her banana with Elmo.

She kindly looked at Elmo and said.....

"no nana, Melmo!"

And that was that! I think she is picking up on the sharing thing.