Monday, December 14, 2009

What was I thinking...

Last night as I laid in bed very nauseated after having thrown up my dinner, bathed two kiddos and got them in bed I started thinking about what the hell I was thinking when I decided to get pregnant again????

I mean yes, I do what a third little tike, but pregnancy just wasn't on my agenda.  It's amazing how short a mother's memories are.  The morning sickness, which was really bad with my other two tikes, with Meredith being the worst, is so much worse this time.  Why didn't I think of that when Josh and I were trying for this baby????

Or the weight I will gain. I'm not one of those ladies that only gains the 24-30 recommended lbs.  No I gain well over 40 with both of mine.  And then with Meredith I had so much fluid intake during her delivery do to complications I came home weighing more than when I went in.  I remember crying...."but she was 6lbs 9oz, I should of at least lost that much!!!!"  But no things don't work like that.  I didn't remember that either until that little stick had two lines.

I think I got to celebrate my pregnancy for one week before the gloom and doom started. I mean I have thrown up every day for the past 5 or 6 weeks.....I know be jealous, very jealous.

But the reason I was thinking I wanted to get pregnant came to me as I ran up stairs to comfort my 3 1/2 year old who was having a nightmare and who I tucked all snugly into my bed.  Then as soon as she was down had to run back up to grab my handsome little man who was also crying because his sister's nightmare woke him up. As I watched my two little tikes sleeping peacefully snuggled in my bed, I was thinking that it really doesn't matter what you go through in those 9 months leading up to the point of meeting your newest miracle.   The only thing that matters is the end results which is worth it all.  Even that dreaded c-section.  

So little caboose, I can't promise not to bitch and moan the next 7 months or even question my sanity or reason behind getting preggers, but I will tell you this.....deep down I know exactly why I did it, because you are worth it.  And on that morning in July I won't remember one bit of this.....morning sickness or anything.  Can't wait to meet you my little caboose!


Amy said...

Throwing up for 6 weeks is just agony! It's just ridiculous!

I never threw up once or was even nauseated throughout my pregnancy, so I'm extrememly fearful that #2 is going to crush me. (I'm speaking in the future here...Our own home is a requirement before I become preggers. Pregnant and living with my in laws is just not an option.)

Hope you feel better soon honey! That's just awful you're having to deal with this!

jennlagdavis said...

Mandi -- I agree 100% - that little miracle is well worth it. On the table waiting to meet #2 I swore to never again put my body thru another C-section, but ya know what - I lied. I would do it again and can't wait til we decide the time is right for our 3rd. :)