Monday, April 7, 2008

Attack of the church people!

So I must confess, Josh and I are not regular church goers. We try, well not really....we would like to do better.....unfortunately our attempts thus far have not yielded regular church going behavior. So, on Sunday mornings we get all dressed up and drive off in the loser cruiser and wave to our neighbors and pretend to go to church. Yeah right! We do not do that either, but we often joke that we should. Everyone in this town wants to know where and when you go to church. Like there is a secret church society that wants to know and checks up on you.

Wow I am really sounding like the anti-church blogger, I truly am not. I like church, it makes me feel good about myself when I do attend, but with two kids under the age of two, it is not always easy to get there. And chances are once we are there whatever spiritual message is being delivered is missed, due to the fact that I am a little distracted by a toddler or trying to calm a fussy baby. Between the colors, books, toys, pacifiers and cheerios, yeah you pretty much had me at hello sort to speak...everything else I missed.

So yes we could do better and we will or we will day. But my point is, if you do not get dressed up to go to church then you can still get dressed, not up, but dressed and do the lunch thing right? Wrong. Do not try to skip church and do the lunch thing, people come out in droves all dressed up to rub it in your make-up-less face that you did not in fact go to church and they did.

Case in point...

"honey you want to watch the kids while I go to the grocery or all go?" 9am

"We can all go it will be fun" 9:02am

"okay that means 4 people have to get up and dressed and out the house" 9:03am

"well do you want me to stay home?" 9:04am

"no we can all go, that is fine" 9:05am

Fast forward two somewhat hours, 2 showers, 1 bowl of oatmeal, 2 nursing sessions, 1 nap later ( so not kidding!) and we are out the door and in the loser cruiser all buckled up.

"So where do you want to go grocery A or grocery B?"11:29am

"Um it is 11:30 and I'm hungry and the kids are used to eating at noon, so where do you want to eat?"11:30am

So that is how we ended up at a lovely sandwich shop at 11:40am on a beautiful Sunday morning. We were sitting down, me with no make-up, flip flops, my designer jeans, an old black maternity shirt that can pass for a regular shirt and wet hair in a ponytail. Noah was still in his pajamas and Meredith was dressed by Josh....need I say more. Yeah Josh dressed himself sometimes I just let him. So we are sitting down eating in a relatively empty restaurant and then it hit.

They came in by the masses, they all wore heels and dresses and sunhats. The little girls were in smocked dresses with big matching bows. The little boys had on gingham outfits with knee socks and shiny white shoes. The dads had on slacks and some had on ties. They looked like they were right out of a church magazine. We looked like we did...thrown together and eating lunch.

The restaurant went from empty to packed in 10 exageration. I started to get sweaty, I mean Noah was wearing spit up and Meredith was wearing pizza sauce. It was all over her face and clothes.....then we had a brownie....we were looking nice as we left.

I only ran into 3 families I knew. Oh well I can't say I looked very different than most days, well minus the wet hair....that was just my church hair.


Jess said...

Sounds like our Sundays. We are usually in some sort of raggedy lawn working clothes either trying to get groceries or going to Lowe's amidst a sea of high heels and other such frippery (good word! :). Don't worry I'm sure your entire neighborhood doesn't talk about you heathens!

Olivia said...

Yeah, I have church guilt/anxiety too. We are having David christened at the end of the month and I think I can count on 2 hands the number of times we have been to church since Marion was christened. Oh well, we watch church tv sometimes---does that count?