Have I ever told you that I am person with high anxiety. I worry about things all the time. I worry about dumb things, things that may not happen, things that will work themselves out in time and things that are way beyond my control. I have always been this way....a worrier.
Sometimes I feel so blessed, I truly have a great life. There is a roof over my head, my kids go to bed with full bellys and I am married to the most wonderful man. My life is too good, when will the bad luck hit? This is the kind of thing I worry about.
My husband loves his job and it provides better than a great life for us. My kids are happy and healthy and I got to spend every minute with them. My days this summer have been spent hanging out by Mimi's pool surrounded by friends and family and doing lunch and playdates with friends. What is not to love about this life?
But at night when I lay my head down I am ever thankful for it and then I worry that in one instant it could all slip away. My karma is bound to run out. I know this degree of worry is not normal. I also know it comes and goes. A family here in the town I live is going through a really dark time. A father and husband is losing his life to cancer and it is so sad. I know this situation is the cause for my latest anxiety, but it scares me. I don't want to take this life for granted, but I don't want to lose it either.
If you pray please say some prayers for this family.
Meet Me...Mandi
I am a wife, a mother, a daughter and a sister! I became a wife in May of 2005, a mother in April of 2006, the mother of 2 tikes under 2 in November of 2007 and the mother of the caboose in July of 2010. I have survived hurricane katrina, three pregnancies and c-sections, a major kitchen renovation, the start of real school, a move and I am trying to survive motherhood and three tikes. Come on in and stay for a while. I promise to be honest and to the point. There is no sugar coating motherhood and life around here.
My husband
He is the love of my life, my husband, my partner, my best friend. He patience is endless, he is a great dad and goes above and beyond as a husband and man. He helps with the laundry, he will cook dinner if needed, he cleans the kitchen at night and bathes the tikes. I could not find anyone better if I tried. He is my love.
Meet Meredith
My six year old. Who reads more than she speaks and has a thirst for knowledge. She's as kind hearted as they come and had more diva in her little toe than I do my entire body.
Meet Noah
My five year old, who speaks more than he breathes. Quiet is not in his vocabulary. He's so inquisitive and hands on. Is the most kind hearted little boy you will ever meet.
Meet Margot
The two year old, who gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "terrible twos". She is fiercely independent and walks to the beat of her own drum that she beats on quite frequently. Is obsessed with dancing and Dumbo.
Meet Brownie Jane
Our lovable 80+ lb chocolate lab. She can eat popsicle sticks whole, has had more surgeries than we have money for. Drinks out of the toilet and thinks the king size bed is hers.
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6 comments:
I am MS. Anxiety too!!!! Robert worries about nothing but I am always worrying about something. And when I don't have anything big to worry about, then I will look for something to worry about! I really think this is a woman thing. I feel so much for the Weather's family and Stephanie his wife. I have prayed for her a ton. Go to www.caringbridges.org and type in jasonweathers (all one word) for the code...it is amazing what strength she has in a time like this. She did a journal entry yesterday I think, I wish I was as strong as she is. It really was incredible to read.
I worry a ton too. About dying, loosing Wade or my children. I think it is hard not to worry when there is so much heartache out there.
I will pray for that family.
Every since I've known you you have worried about the silliest things. I'll never forget the one time you thought you had cancer. Every ache and pain is "what is that?" "I think I'm dieing" "THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END SOON!!!"
Honey you have a wonderful life b/c God made it that way. You deserve the life and great friends and family you have. Don't dwell on the "karma" thing and enjoy every minute you have been given. God knows what he's doing and knows whats to come. Let Him worry about that...NOT YOU!!!!!
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
P.S. STOP READING THOSE STUPID BOOKS YOU READ ABOUT PREDICTING THE FUTURE!!!!!!!!
Thanks girls for you comments.
Jaimie you are right, I need to find more faith to trust more. I am actually going to go to a bible study with laura (commented first) in the fall and really looking forward to it.
Don't worry. I am insane. When we cross bridges I actually locate my seatbelt cutter and start making plans about how to get the kids out if we go into the Lake. Yes, I ordered a seatbelt cutter and window smasher. Just imagine when I am bymyself. Who do I unbuckle first and how am I going to swim with two kids? Now that's anxiety.
Mandi, seriously are we sisters? If I happened to watch a TV show where the person has the man eating flesh disease, guess what? I saw spots appearing on my leg and I have it to! The shameful part is, I know I have this disorder, but yet I can still make myself believe something awful is going to happen, or that I have something, I don't. I've gotten a tad bit better, but I can still make myself believe things that are crazy. If I plant the seed.. it will grow. I think, I need some sort of support group!
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