Selling a house, some things I am so not proud of

I'm feeling very honest today, must be all the sunshine I soaked up at the beach today. I'm betting it went right through my hair follicles and bleached my brain, because this post is all about things I have done while my house is on the market that I am embarrassed to admit.

You can all imagine and some of you know that selling a house with two tikes is NOT easy. Not even remotely easy. I have had and average of 3 showings a week, some with a weekends notice and some with an hours notice and everywhere in between. And each and every time I have done my damnedest to make sure the house is spotless. Well except for that time I was doubling over with kidney stone pain and my mom did it for me.

I won't lie when I say that Josh and I are total slobs. We are. We have had a housekeeper since before we were married and have always lived life rather messily. I hate to clean and have an awful habit of not picking up after myself and leaving it to be pick up later. So does Josh. Then add two tiny tikes to the mix who can't pick up after themselves and ladies and gentlemen you have chaos. That is basically how we functioned. When I do clean, I do a fantastic job, you would almost think I was a freak. I mean it is bad, getting out a toothbrush to the clean the grout, but since I only did that about 4 times a year.....really I'm just a slob who gets a little OCD when cleaning.

Our house used to be only clean on Thursday afternoons and only for a little while......until 6 weeks ago. Now it is always "almost ready" for unexpected company and most days freaking meticulous. When I tell you my ass barely hits the couch or computer chair anymore I am not lying. I am also in bed earlier due to exhaustion. I can't sleep, but come 8 or 9pm and I can't function either.

But I have taken a few shortcuts along the way, follow me to the list of shame.....

• Although my laundry hampers are never full and never overflowing I have shoved a bunch of clean, folded clothing into a armoire when I was picking up quickly for a showing.
• I have sprayed Lysol all over the up stairs to cover a wreaking diaper that stunk up the entire 2nd floor 10 minutes before a showing.
• I have put bedding and dirty clothes that didn't have room in the hamper into the trunk of Josh's car to get it out the way. I learned now that laundry is a priority and I do 2-3 loads a day....seriously
• I have made Meredith sleep with us so that I didn't have to make her bed before an early morning showing.
• I have quickly cleaned the floors with diaper wipes instead of mopping
• I have shoved dirty dishes into a just finished cycle of the dishwasher with clean dishes because of lazziness lack of time
• I have shoved a couple of dirty pans into the oven so that I didn't have to wash them quickly.
• I have taught Meredith and Noah how to sweep and hold the dust pan, respectively
• I have buckled my kids into their car seats in the van and let them watch a movie while I picked up inside.
• We have eaten breakfast and lunch out more than I am willing to admit, so that I didn't have to clean the kitchen again before a showing
• I have dozens of dirty cups and bottles in my car that I grabbed to take with me as I was heading out the door and couldn't fit them in the dishwasher didn't have time to wash them
• I have called my husband more than once to come home on his lunch hour to help me
• I have also called and mercifully begged my mother to come and help me
• I have closed the toy room door and told my kids the toy room was closed that day, to spare the effort of having to pick up toys one last time before heading out
• I have shipped Brownie off to live with my sister so that is one less thing I have to deal with
• I have hid all the dog supplies....what dog?

I think that is it, there I said it. For all that know me and keep asking how do you do it....there are some of my secrets. Perhaps I could write a book or get my own HGTV show...."How to stage a house so potential buyers don't think your a total slob." Catchy isn't it?