Around here somewhere

When Margot was first born things were hectic.  Doctor appointments, doctor appointments and more doctor appointments.  I felt like I was always running, trying to catch up.....not even dreaming of keeping up.  Almost 10 months later, things are still crazy.  I'm convinced this is it.  Life will not slow down.  There are no more mornings of sleeping in and hanging in our jammies all day.  Now there is school and car pools.  Ballet lessons and appointments.  I'm always running.  ALWAYS.

So more often than not, my house is a wreck.  There is always a load of laundry to be done, dishes to be washed, clothes to be folded and put away, dinner to be cooked and cleaned, toys to be put away, beds to be made, butts to be wiped and tiny hand prints to be wiped away.  I've tried to keep it clean, I've tried to keep it presentable.  I've tried and wished and hoped to channel my inner Type A self, but it just isn't happening.  Hell at this point I'd settle for just being able to find a place to sit on the couch and possibly find my car keys without having to curse repetitively to myself.

Before kids I was the type that did baseboards when company was coming over.  Now I settle for at least straightening up the areas the company will see.  So it utterly shocked me when I had someone coming to the house that I barely knew for the first time and did nothing.  Someone who I barely knew and normally would require having a spotless house to let walk through the door.  However it was a day Josh was on call, my son was miserable from a tonsillectomy and hadn't slept in day, I was working on zero sleep,  and my very last nerve was dangling from a thin string.  I was barely keeping it all together.

In fact I had totally forgotten the appointment and that someone was even supposed to come by.  So when I got a text that day that she was 5 minutes away, I quickly surveyed the house wreckage and deemed the mess impossible to be cleaned in 5 minutes.  I targeted one area of the disaster.  The kitchen.  In four minutes I unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, I cleaned off the counter tops and table and quickly wiped them down.  I gathered all the toys my two arms could hold and threw them into the toy room.  With a minute to spare I walked into the living room to survey the rest of the house.  I cried.  Why had I picked the kitchen???....................why the HELL did I not do a damn thing about the living room.  Where the hell was my brain????  So with 30 seconds to spare, I gathered up the toys in the living room and foyer and pitched them into the toy room, I grabbed blankets and pajamas that were strewn all over and threw them into the laundry room and then I saw her car pulling up.  There was still a mountain of laundry on the coffee table and loads of unfolded laundry on the couches.  I hauled all of the laundry onto one couch and grabbed the unsightly Cars sleeping bag that was heaped up in the middle of the floor and threw it on top of all the clothes to hide them.  Because that was all I had left in me and surely that shit would work...right?  I mean really would you even notice this.....

Would you think less of me?  Or that I was at least a little off?  Would you think....damn this woman has stooped to an all new low and has lost it?

Exactly!  I can't even see that large unsightly, red sleeping bag....sleeping bag?  What sleeping bag?  I mean as long as I think that, then it works right?  My visitor briefly let her eyes flutter in that direction, but she never mentioned it.  She also spent a total of 20 minutes here and never made it to my "clean" kitchen.  But she never mentioned the mess and for that I love her.

Yes, that is what I have stooped too.  Josh and I are picking up a few more sleeping bags for our next cocktail party.  Especially since the Caboose's new favorite activity is to create a mess like this in under 2 minutes.  Yes, 2 minutes, the approximate amount of time I have to take a shower these days.

My loves

Plain and simple.

Five

Dearest Meredith, 

Today you are five.  FIVE.  five?  I know... when did you get so big?  This has been a big birthday for you.  You could not wait for this day to come.  You birthday is one of the last amongst your little friends and it has been hard.  Just last month as we were getting ready for another birthday party, you put your hands on your hips and said "this is it, I'm done.  I'm not going to anymore birthday parties until I am 5!"  Thankfully we weren't invited to anymore, because I am pretty sure you would've stood by your word.

Your fifth birthday celebration was so memorable.  It started by us getting not one but two birthday cakes.  One to serve and one for you to blow candles out on.  Why?  Oh because you got mono two weeks before your 5th birthday.  The joys of big school and turning five.  But you were determined to feel better by your party.  You told me that all week.  "Don't worry mom I will feel better for my party."

In the past five years it is amazing how big you have gotten and how fast that has happened.  I know it is cliche' but it passed in the blink of an eye.  I still remember five years ago, being wheeled to my room in the hospital after coming out of recovery.  It was about 3am and the nurse was going over a few things.  I had been awake for 21 hours at this point, 17 of those hours in labor and had just undergoing a major abdominal surgery to meet you.  After her five minute spiel she looked at me and asked "Any questions?"  I remember looking back at her in my exhaustion and simply asking "Can you repeat all that to my husband when he gets here?" and then asking "Are you just going to leave this baby in here with me?"  Becoming your mom was surreal, like no other thing in the world.  I had no clue how awesome it would be, how amazing.  You changed me.

The night before you birthday party as we tucked you in, you looked at your dad and I and said "Well tomorrow a lot of things are going to change now that I'm five....Oh mom I just can't wait I'm going to start fixing my own food and my own drinks...and I'm going to be tall enough to go outside and get my own cokes out of the refrigerator."  It tickled me to death to see how excited you were for this day. 

Every year for your birthday, your dad and I go all out to throw the best celebration we can, to celebrate your five years here on earth.  To celebrate another year of you.  To celebrate getting the wonderful privilege to be your parents.  To celebrate you.  We love you so much.  We love who you are and who you strive to be.  We love you.  Happy Birthday to my five year old.

Love,

your momma

And so it begins...

Tonight my sweet friend Allison brought me a birthday dinner.  She made homemade lasagna, salad, bread and a bottle of pinot grigio.  And as much as I would love to say I put that dinner in the fridge for tomorrow and went out on the town to celebrate, sadly I did not.  With one child home with mono.....yes I said it....MONO....and a DIFFERENT child home covered in large red welts over most of her body due to an allergic reaction to penicillin, we are home bound.

So Allison's dinner was exactly what we needed and it went fabulously with the birthday cake my husband picked up for me.  Meredith and Noah gobbled down some lasagna, that and spaghetti are some of their favorites. Josh and I also enjoyed some with a glass of wine. Margot sat in her chair watching everyone eat as Josh opened up her very expensive organic baby food.....*note the child with allergies.  It took one spoon to the mouth for her to start yelling in protest.  She then knocked the spoon full of organic baby food away and all over the floor, repeatedly.  Josh was feeding her.  Me I wouldn't have let that happen....at least not repeatedly.  After several more failed attempts and an almost overturned bowl of baby food.  Josh cut up some lasagna and placed it on her tray.

She inhaled it.  Then did the sign for more.  So we gave her more and she inhaled that as well.  We asked her to look up and say cheese and her look is exactly what I would be thinking....I'm trying to eat here people.

Margot ate an entire meal of lasagna tonight and no baby food.  Meredith and Noah had stopped eating baby food by 9 months old.  Margot is right on target.  Well a little early.  Again she likes to be first.

Thanks so much Allison for a great birthday meal.  I really appreciate it and love the gesture.  I think I may start giving my friends a night off from cooking for their birthday too! 

Being the first

Margot was not the first born, in fact she will be our last.  The caboose.  However, she will not let a title like "the caboose" get her down.  No sir-ree, in fact she is determined to be the first at several things.  She was the first of my babies to sit up at 5 1/2 months.  And now she is the first to get up and crawl on all fours at 8 months.  She's been on all fours for a while and inching forward little by little, but last Monday is what I am calling her  official crawling day.  It was the day she crawled all day and proudly showed she could get wherever she wanted.  Although she did do quite a bit of crawling on Saturday And Sunday as well.

But Monday is our day.  In fact when Josh got home Monday evening, she crawled right over to him and landed at his feet with her arms up.  It was very sweet.  He was amazed and finally believed my proclamation of her crawling abilities. 

I'm betting she is also going to be my first to walk, since she is already starting to pull up.  She just has to do it by her first birthday.

A little bit of Noah - what he says

You brought someone with you today?

Yeah

Well who is this?

Its my wittle sister.

What's her name?

Noah.

No silly boy she wants to know what your sister's name is not yours.

Oh her name is butter-bean.

Yeah, buddy that's her nickname, but tell her what her real name is.

It's Mar-giddy.

Well I tried, but Meredith is still ta-ta and Margot will forever be Butter-bean or Mar-giddy.

Spring Break - Lessons Learned

The sand is not my friend.

My kids love the sand.

The laundry doesn't take a week off too.

School takes up a lot of time.

Preschoolers do not get the term "sleeping in."

Neither do toddlers or babies.

Eating a picnic lunch at the beach is not nearly as fun as it sounds.

Other peoples children are a great source of entertainment for your children, almost like a babysitter.  However you will not feel anymore relaxed that day, then if you had to entertain them all day by yourself.

Being a mom is exhausting.

I never realized as a child that someone actually packed all the stuff we needed, kept drinks cold, fixed dinner, grocery shopped or all the other things that made my spring break vacations a vacation.

The beach is a fabulous place to be.

Call during Spring Break sucks.

The gulf is cold in March.  Very cold. 

Kids do not have an internal thermometer like adults.

I will never again go to the beach without my husband until everyone can carry their own shit, wipe their own ass, and feed themselves.

Kids have no concept on how much work it is for you to take them, they had an ABSOLUTE blast and so did I, once I was upacked.  Thank you so much Leslie!

Going somewhere with the older two is getting much easier.  Going somewhere with just Margot is easy.  Going somewhere with all three is like carting the circus around with you.

You are hard pressed to find a waitress wanting to take the table with 3 adults and 7 kids.

Sipping a strawberry abita in the afternoon with a friend while your children run wild is a spring break must.

I'm convinced if my house was smaller it would be less to clean and would always be neater.  That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

Babies learning to crawl will do it at the beach and crawl off the blanket to load a fistful of sand into their mouth.

After they gag and choke on it and you fish it all out and clean them all up, they will inevitably do it AGAIN and AGAIN.

Babies can nap anywhere.

Josh does a whole lot more than I give him credit for.

Quantity does not equal quality.

Attempting Panera at noon with three kids by yourself is impossible. 

Three kids needing to poop in a public restroom at the same time is going to happen on spring break. 

Drive thrus were made for me. 

Traveling between meals is even better.

Unpacking is not easier than packing you can just take as long as you would like to do it, that is the advantage.

What lessons did you learn this spring break?

Beach Babe

Have you ever seen anything more peaceful?

Brownie Jane goes to school.

Meredith's school had a pet show last week.  My girl was so excited and we signed Brownie up immediately to participate.  Brownie was thrilled.  Preschool with lots of other animals....what dog wouldn't be thrilled.  I made sure Josh took the afternoon off that day to help me with Brownie.  I wasn't braving three tikes and an 80lb dog at a pet show alone...no way.  Have you met my dog?   She is quite the beast.

  Here is Brownie and Josh in her designated area.  Brownie along with the other Big Dogs were assigned a nice spacious, spot in the back.  Geared up and ready to meet some 4 year olds.  Look at her precious name tag.

All the parents arrived a little early with their furry and slimy friends waiting for the preschoolers.  I have to say the animals were very well behaved for having so many different kinds there.  There were big and little dogs, cats and kittens, rabbits, lots of turtles, a fish and a mouse hamster.  Although I agree with Meredith if it is looks like a mouse, than by golly it sure isn't a hamster.

When the preschoolers came out, Meredith found her way right over to Brownie to show all of her friends.  She loves that big, old,  brown, stinky dog.  She is a good dog.

She truly was so proud of her dog.  All her little friends thought Brownie was great too!

Brownie also really enjoyed the pet show.  She loved all the attention given to her by the kids.

The kids ran from animal to animal for basically and hour, it was great.

After Meredith showed off her dog she then ventured out with me to see the other animals.  One of the classes had a pet turtle that they brought to show.

There were also lots of little turtles.  And they were a big hit, literally.  I think they all went home with concussions from being dropped 4 ft to the ground repeatedly.  The poor dad manning that station couldn't keep up with the turtles or the preschoolers.  They went from hand to hand.

The mouse hamster hid in his cage, he was afraid of the wild animals preschoolers.  He saw what the turtles next to him were going through.

Noah loved being in preschool that day too.  He decided he really loved the mouse hamster.  Sorry Noah that's just one boundary I am keeping firm.

It really was a great afternoon, Brownie is already looking forward to her next two visits to preschool. 

A break....spring break to be exact.

Tomorrow I am taking this crew to the beach....minus the husband.  Wish me luck and sanity and an extra pair of hands.  It's gonna be a fun, wild ride.  I can't wait.  The yukon is loaded down and we pull out bright and early.  See you in a few days Josh and internets!

Good news.....no....GREAT news!

You may have previously read that Margot had an MRI scheduled and an appointment with a neurosurgeon.  I know I never specified exactly why that was.  I admit I was a little vague.  Partly because I am the type of person that believes if I don't mention it out loud, or type it for the world to see, it isn't real.  And I did not want it to be real. 

Margot was born with a sacral dimple, it was noted on her birth-day and then followed up on every well baby visit since.  At her 6 month check-up her pediatrician thought it was time we took a closer look at it and referred us on to a neurosurgeon who ordered an MRI before we saw him.  We weren't expecting anything since Margot was moving her legs and had good muscle tone, but we needed to have this test done and see a neurosurgeon to look over scans so that he could rule out spina bifida and spina bifida occulta.  And just reading the possibilities and could be's were scary enough....enough to worry this momma to death.

On Monday Margot had an MRI of her lower spine.  She required anesthesia to do this since she had to remain still for approximately 35 minutes.  She did great, but it was tough to see my baby so groggy and cranky afterwards.  We then had to wait until Thursday to get the results from the neurosurgeon.  The wait was unbearable, probably some of the worst days of my life.  It's amazing the places your mind can take you while you wait.  I needed to know Monday afternoon whether or not something was going on.  Each day my worries grew a new head and got a lot bigger.  By Thursday morning, when I was sitting in the neurosurgeon's office waiting for him to come in with the results I was ready to vomit all over.   It was the longest three days of my life.

 I am happy to say, her results came back perfect.  Her spine is perfect and normal.  It ends right where it is supposed to and her sacral dimple is just that a dimple.  A very deep dimple that we can't see the end of, but it is a dimple and absolutely nothing more.  We are completely grateful and have been celebrating the good news since.  And we thank all of you who have prayed for our sweet baby girl.  There are no words to express how thankful and happy we are and how much we appreciate it.

To celebrate we had cookies and milk Friday night, Margot even got an Oreo. 

Hmmm, what is this?

Dad are you sure this is for me?  Isn't it normally just for the bigs?

Hmmm, it's not so bad.

It taste a little sweet, mom....just like me.

Let me get another little taste.

Noah you do know what you are talking about.....I love it too!

This is some good stuff....I'm going to enter a sugar induced high at any moment!

Mom I may be addicted like my brother....this is really good shit.

Can I have oreos every night?

Milestones

Today my baby girl clapped for the first time.  She sat on the bed with me and the older two tikes and as we belted out three different renditions of "Pat-a-cake"  she clapped.   And we all clapped and cheered and a little part of me was very sad inside, because it is all happening too quickly....not that it was happening....just happening too quickly.  So I'm soaking it in and relishing in every. single. second.

She's clapping and waving......and I'm going to find three very heavy bricks, for three very little heads.

An the universe throws me another curve ball

Today I took the youngest two tikes to see good ole' Dr. H.  Our ENT.  Noah had an appointment for a re-check.  The last time we saw Dr. H it was more of an emergent situation.  Noah was screaming in pain and I called begging for them to fit us in immediately....which they did considering we were under a tornado watch or warning at the time....whichever one it is that they actually see a tornado.  We were the only people there that day....no wonder they fit me in.

Anyway today was our "2 week check-up" to make sure the antibiotics that Dr. H gave Noah worked.  Well since the Universe thinks I am awesome with dealing with sickness, guess what....his ears are still infected.  Yep, Dr. H said Noah will once again need surgery to put tubes back in.  And then he so casually mentioned that while he was under we might as well take his adenoids and tonsils.  I knew that part was coming.  Then he asked where in the world my children got such large adenoids and tonsils?

This is where it all went to hell in a hand basket.  I said..."well I've never had an ear infection, but I do have abnormally large tonsils.  I've had lots of doctors trying to take those suckers out for years, but I wouldn't let them."  Big Mistake.  HUGE.  Dr. H then told me to open wide and say Ahh.  He peeked in with his super cool light and tongue depressor and said "Holy smoke they are huge....we have got to get them out of there." 

He asked if my throat was bothering me now....which it is.  He then asked what kind of medicine I was on....to which I said none.  He then said that they were infected now with lots of puss and stuff on them.  And that whether I liked it or not he was getting those tonsils out of there.  He then proceeded to sit me in his fancy chair and suction the disgusting stuff off my tonsils.....too much information.  That's why I put all the cute pictures. 

So after he was done with me. I asked him to peek into Margot's ears....you know for shits and giggles. She had just gotten the all clear on her ears last week from Dr. B, our pediatrician.  So we held Margot down so Dr. H could take a peek and again he said "Holy smoke has she got fluid in those ears....yep I have to do something about those ears too." 

I told him just last week they were fine, and he disagreed based on the amount of fluid in them and the consistency of it. He asked how long this had been going on and when I told him since November, he was a little blown away that we hadn't made it there with Margot's own appointment by now.

So the next thing I know, Dr. H's sweet nurse is putting all three of us on his surgery schedule.  And while I committed to a date for the two youngest tikes, I would not commit to a date for me.  No three for one special for me.  Come on, we have all heard of the scary tonsil removal in an adult story.  No way am I doing that.  I'll keep my tonsils and my funk with me and that is exactly what I told Dr. H.  He took me very serious to my word because before I could get everyone loaded up and in the car he had called Josh to break the news to him and made him promise to see my tonsillectomy through.

And that my friends is how it goes here.  Never a dull moment.  Never a doctor visit that says...things are going great.  See you next year.  Or even see you in three months, nope it is more of a "see you for surgery in a few weeks", or "we need to get this kidney stone out right away", or "you really need to get that MRI now", or "she will then follow up with a neurosurgeon on Thursday", or "we need to repeat her blood work in a month", or "your blood work came back abnormal for xyz and we need to draw some more". 

Yes, that is what we have been going through here on top of stomach bugs, viruses and ear infections.  And it is no freaking fun.  AT ALL.  Yes, Margot has a diagnosis of Congenital Hypothyroidism.  We have no other diagnosis for her at the this time.  She is growing well and meeting all her age appropriate milestones, but we do have a surgery scheduled now and we also have an MRI on the books for her, with a follow up appointment with a neurosurgeon.  We could use your thoughts and prayers.

Noah has a diagnosis of shitty ears and abnormally large tonsils.  I hear his surgery won't be pretty either.  Although it will be prettier than mine.  I'm guessing my mother of the year award will be in the mail for making him go first and me being too chicken to do it.  So when you are praying for my sweet baby girl, please pray for my baby boy as well.  And hell go ahead and throw a little prayer in that Meredith's tubes stay put or we will be doing a three for one special that day.

And that my friends is a small sampling of what my life has been like for the last 7 months.  Okay let's be honest.  The last 15 months.  Margot has kept us on our toes.  But she is perfectly healthy and perfectly, perfect.  And for that I am so very thankful.

I hope you enjoyed my pictures from my impromptu photo shoot with Margot and Noah.  I am by no means a photographer.  I have the fancy camera, but I just point and shoot and I know that is sad.  But at least I am taking it out again and taking pictures.  My motivation to do that lately has been overshadowed by my exhaustion.  But Margot is growing so fast these days andI know I need to document it.  You can also see how easy it is too take pictures of two children when one is named Noah.  You ought to see the outtakes of trying to photograph three.  Well hell the only way for you to do that is for me to show you, so tomorrow I will.

And one last photo of Margot in deep thought.....I wonder how long she is going to point that thing in my face and yell Margot....Margot....clearly if Noah doesn't need to listen, then neither do I. 

Sometimes our similarties even scare myself....

People tell me all the time how much Meredith is such a mini-me.  I know her attitude is all me....there is absolutely no denying that.  I just never realized her much her mannerism are just like mine too.

Like mother....

Like daughter.....

Scary isn't it?

Sick of it...

I am sitting here typing this with my Kleenex box by my side, my nose running, my throat sore, my head aching and my eyes burning and I am longing for the days of summer, when no one is sick. 

Today is my 6th day with this cold.  The cold that came after the most awful stomach virus that has ever hit our family...pre and post tikes.  I am OVER it.  We have had RSV, fevers, the flu symptoms without the presence of the flu, bronchitis with breathing treatments, ear infections, more fevers, constant runny noses, the most awful stomach virus and kidney stones.  Dear Universe.....I have dealt with more than my fair share.....so take your sicknesses and shove it. 

My tikes are driving me crazy.  And I am not myself.  I'm exhausted, I'm irritable, I'm rundown and worn out.  I'm OVER IT!  Completely over it.  I long for the day that hearing my sweet children's voices at a high pitched squeal doesn't remind me of nails being scratched across a chalkboard.   I'm sick of being on edge and wanting to just retreat to my room with the door locked.  This is not me.  I thought about postpartum issues, but I am sure it is more cold and flu season issues.  I just want to feel well and while I am at it.....I am sick of my kids being sick.  Margot's nose has been a faucet that has been turned on since Halloween, and I am not exaggerating.  Poor baby has been so sick she probably has no idea what it is like to feel well and not have a fountain permanently attached to her face.

But despite all these illness that have plagued our family, we have managed to keep it real here. 

We have road monster trucks.

And we have gone bowling...

We got a jump start (thanks to garden club) and planted our spring garden.

 We have soaked up the beautiful weather outside.

We have gone fishing.

No we don't let illnesses keep us down.  I have tried convincing my husband to just blow up the house and build a new one.  I'm convinced that is the only way to get all the germs out.  Then once our house is rebuilt for insulation I'm going to just a cellophane type thing to keep it germ free.  Think that will work?  So Internets what has plagued your house this cold and flu season?