So not too long ago I promised to catch up on laundry....well that is easier said than done when you are weeks behind. The past few days I was cursing the fact that my children were outgrowing their clothing so fast....seriously....then I realized they weren't. Their drawers are scarce because EVERYTHING is dirty. I mean everything. Tonight we started and the tasks was rather daunting. We threw the clean laundry that piled up on the dining room table and started on the mountains of dirty laundry. Then we popped in the Raffi Christmas CD and gathered round the table to sing carols while we folded. Life is good. Even Meredith and Noah got in on the folding action. After three loads I was pooped, so I started the bed time routine and now I am taking a break. Baby steps right. I mean I am so overwhelmed by the sight of this house and the things that need taking care of that I can't focus, I just start to sweat and feel light headed. I have a solution in that I am trying to talk my lackadaisical self into becoming a Type A personality over night. I am fairly confident that if that were to happen, life would be easy or easier.
Well I am off to bed, surely I will need all the energy I can muster for tomorrows laundry tasks.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
The present
The other day I got Meredith's monthly tuition statement home from her preschool. In addition to the normal fee there was another $8 dollar fee for materials used to make the parents a Christmas gift. I was so excited, so I had to ask.
"Meredith are you making Mommy and Daddy a Christmas present?"
Her eyes got so bright with excitement and she replied using her arms as she talked...
"YES! Yes mommy....I'm making a prise for you and daddy....and...and it's so big and so.... (insert jargon).... and its gonna be wrapped and so you can't see it .....and.....and.....shhh! its a prise......and....and its a picture frame!"
So I am not sure that I totally ruined it or that it is a picture frame, but I am thrilled to receive it and thrilled that she was so excited about it and totally bummed that I just pulled the words right out of her mouth. I guess she has a big mouth like her momma! I'll let you all know if it is indeed a picture frame.
"Meredith are you making Mommy and Daddy a Christmas present?"
Her eyes got so bright with excitement and she replied using her arms as she talked...
"YES! Yes mommy....I'm making a prise for you and daddy....and...and it's so big and so.... (insert jargon).... and its gonna be wrapped and so you can't see it .....and.....and.....shhh! its a prise......and....and its a picture frame!"
So I am not sure that I totally ruined it or that it is a picture frame, but I am thrilled to receive it and thrilled that she was so excited about it and totally bummed that I just pulled the words right out of her mouth. I guess she has a big mouth like her momma! I'll let you all know if it is indeed a picture frame.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Vampires, Santa, Shots Oh My!
This week has been busy. I have been so sick with this cold thing that has plagued my family and the city. Everyone I know has it, had it or will probably get it. I got a shot of antibiotics yesterday and honey it is still sore today. My husband also called me in some as well. I am finally able to feel a little human again. Thank gawd!
Then I have been absorbed in the Twilight series. Hands down, best books I have ever read. I loved them. I normally am so not the vampire type. In fact I hate all that magical, immortal type of stuff. I never read Harry Potter and I have only seen a handful of the movies for Josh, because he got way into them. But Twilight is my Harry Potter.
After hearing about how fabulous they were and how hard to put down from everyone like one of my best friends, to my hairdresser, to a man at the grocery store, I still didn't try them out until I saw the movie. Which I really went to see to get out of the house on the girl's night. But I was so in love with the story and Edward that I rushed right out and bought the book.
After reading the first one, I was so absorbed in the book, I immediately bought the series in hardback because I want to keep them. I literally couldn't put them down, which is great that I was so sick because it really gave me a good excuse to just lay in bed and read. I'm not sure who fixed lunch everyday Noah or Meredith, but they survived. Seriously I did so fix lunch, and change Noah's diapers and occasionally throw a bottle his way and I was definitely guilty of popping in a movie, giving Noah a magazine to shred and laying on the couch with my book and also supervising that no one got hurt or went too hungry.
Thankfully I finished the last book last night. I say thankfully because I was pretty sure Josh was going to put me out if not. Since reading became my second priority after taking care of the kids as my first, the laundry, cooking and general housekeeping were dead last on my priority list. Right above showering and brushing my teeth. Sorry honey, no more sandwiches or take out....I'll start cooking again I promise. Thank goodness I had that cold to fall back on as an excuse.
So now I will begin all the things I have been neglecting, like Christmas cards, blogging, housework, etc, etc. I know why can't Stephanie Meyer write another book real quick. I couldn't wait to finish and see what happened and now after 2000+ pages I wish they were more. Thank goodness my husband is taking me on a date to see the movie...again. He hasn't seen it and I think he will enjoy it, I will definitely enjoy seeing Edward Cullen again and wishing he would bite my neck. Awe every woman's dream.
Onto other news besides my latest obsession.....yes even blogging took a back seat. Today my little Noah man also got a mean does of shots, say some prayers that my bean pole will feel better soon and gain a little weight. Little man is in the 75% for height and 5% for weight....not a great combination, but I know if he would stay still for one millisecond to eat or drink some milk he may just fatten up again. Oh does he take after his momma.....hovering at the 20.5lb mark. That is exactly what I did for several months. I can still hear the anxiety in my mother's voice when she talks about how I wouldn't eat and wouldn't gain weight and so on and so forth.
And then there is Santa. Tonight Santa is paying a visit to our house. He is also bringing gifts to my two munchkins. I can't wait to see if they light up with joy or scream in terror! Tomorrow night my husband will play Santa for 6 other families. It is a fundraiser for my garden club and a really awesome one at that. I know my husband loves this even though it may not sound so fun. He gets lots of warm cookies for him and his elf driving him around. I'll take some pics of my two little tikes with Santa and then some of my Santa. I also promise to post some birthday pics soon....I still can't believe my baby is one!
Then I have been absorbed in the Twilight series. Hands down, best books I have ever read. I loved them. I normally am so not the vampire type. In fact I hate all that magical, immortal type of stuff. I never read Harry Potter and I have only seen a handful of the movies for Josh, because he got way into them. But Twilight is my Harry Potter.
After hearing about how fabulous they were and how hard to put down from everyone like one of my best friends, to my hairdresser, to a man at the grocery store, I still didn't try them out until I saw the movie. Which I really went to see to get out of the house on the girl's night. But I was so in love with the story and Edward that I rushed right out and bought the book.
After reading the first one, I was so absorbed in the book, I immediately bought the series in hardback because I want to keep them. I literally couldn't put them down, which is great that I was so sick because it really gave me a good excuse to just lay in bed and read. I'm not sure who fixed lunch everyday Noah or Meredith, but they survived. Seriously I did so fix lunch, and change Noah's diapers and occasionally throw a bottle his way and I was definitely guilty of popping in a movie, giving Noah a magazine to shred and laying on the couch with my book and also supervising that no one got hurt or went too hungry.
Thankfully I finished the last book last night. I say thankfully because I was pretty sure Josh was going to put me out if not. Since reading became my second priority after taking care of the kids as my first, the laundry, cooking and general housekeeping were dead last on my priority list. Right above showering and brushing my teeth. Sorry honey, no more sandwiches or take out....I'll start cooking again I promise. Thank goodness I had that cold to fall back on as an excuse.
So now I will begin all the things I have been neglecting, like Christmas cards, blogging, housework, etc, etc. I know why can't Stephanie Meyer write another book real quick. I couldn't wait to finish and see what happened and now after 2000+ pages I wish they were more. Thank goodness my husband is taking me on a date to see the movie...again. He hasn't seen it and I think he will enjoy it, I will definitely enjoy seeing Edward Cullen again and wishing he would bite my neck. Awe every woman's dream.
Onto other news besides my latest obsession.....yes even blogging took a back seat. Today my little Noah man also got a mean does of shots, say some prayers that my bean pole will feel better soon and gain a little weight. Little man is in the 75% for height and 5% for weight....not a great combination, but I know if he would stay still for one millisecond to eat or drink some milk he may just fatten up again. Oh does he take after his momma.....hovering at the 20.5lb mark. That is exactly what I did for several months. I can still hear the anxiety in my mother's voice when she talks about how I wouldn't eat and wouldn't gain weight and so on and so forth.
And then there is Santa. Tonight Santa is paying a visit to our house. He is also bringing gifts to my two munchkins. I can't wait to see if they light up with joy or scream in terror! Tomorrow night my husband will play Santa for 6 other families. It is a fundraiser for my garden club and a really awesome one at that. I know my husband loves this even though it may not sound so fun. He gets lots of warm cookies for him and his elf driving him around. I'll take some pics of my two little tikes with Santa and then some of my Santa. I also promise to post some birthday pics soon....I still can't believe my baby is one!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
It started out good
Today when I picked Meredith up from school we had the same usual chit chat in the car. The "how was school today?", the "I missed you so much", the "Did you have fun at school today?", the "what did you do at school today?" and so on. She followed up with the "I missed you so much mommy", the "Sam be dare, Riley be dare, Andrew be dare, Games be dare", the "Sam hit Riley today and made her cwy", the "I no have goldfish for snack today....I HAD STRAAAW-BERRIES." It was the routine school conversation for us. I love it.
I then brightened her day with the announcement that we were picking up Wendy's for lunch. Let's face it I have a cold from hell and making lunch, feeding lunch and then cleaning up after lunch was not on my agenda today. So she was really excited about lunch. Noah was equally excited when he got a french fry in the car as well. After we picked up Wendy's and were home bound, my little scholar started with this...
"Mom do you know why Jesus is here?"
I have to admit I didn't know where to go with this. Was it a rhetorical question or did she want an answer. I figured they were learning about the birth of Jesus in school right now and obviously she learned about this today. So I followed up with....
"Why is baby Jesus here?"
To which her answer was very quick...
"Because his mommy and daddy said....'No No Noah!"
I was completely perplexed by the answer, until I looked in the rear view and saw that Noah was reaching for another one of her fries. I'll try again to get her answer later, when no fries are around.
I then brightened her day with the announcement that we were picking up Wendy's for lunch. Let's face it I have a cold from hell and making lunch, feeding lunch and then cleaning up after lunch was not on my agenda today. So she was really excited about lunch. Noah was equally excited when he got a french fry in the car as well. After we picked up Wendy's and were home bound, my little scholar started with this...
"Mom do you know why Jesus is here?"
I have to admit I didn't know where to go with this. Was it a rhetorical question or did she want an answer. I figured they were learning about the birth of Jesus in school right now and obviously she learned about this today. So I followed up with....
"Why is baby Jesus here?"
To which her answer was very quick...
"Because his mommy and daddy said....'No No Noah!"
I was completely perplexed by the answer, until I looked in the rear view and saw that Noah was reaching for another one of her fries. I'll try again to get her answer later, when no fries are around.
Monday, December 1, 2008
What she says....being the boss
The scene - Olive Garden
The scenario - Noah taking a poop
"LET THE POOPY OUT! LET THE POOPY OUT! LET THE POOPY OUT!" sung over and over again in a chant at the top of her lungs
***
The scene - our home
The scenario - Meredith and Noah helping their dad decorate the Christmas tree
"No, No Noah Emulet.....dat is dain-ja! dain-ja!.....no touch.....no sir!"
***
The scene - the dinner table
The scenario - Josh and Noah just got up from the table, I am still sitting with Meredith while she finishes her cookie for desert.
"Mommy, we da big gurls? yep the big gurls not finished...great job big gurls!"
***
The scene - the loser cruiser
The scenario - driving home on our way from school and she is answering my question about who was at school today
"Lily be dare, Riley be dare, Abigail be dare....Aaron no be dare.....Andrew no be dare.....Ummm Games be dare..."
"Oh so Gaines was there too?"
"No, no momma, just one games be dare!"
***
The scene - Meredith's bedroom
The scenario - meredith is just waking up
"Mommy I need my puter!"
"Why do you need your computer you just woke up....let's go get breakfast."
"no mommy, I need my puter....I need to check my e-mail"
The scenario - Noah taking a poop
"LET THE POOPY OUT! LET THE POOPY OUT! LET THE POOPY OUT!" sung over and over again in a chant at the top of her lungs
***
The scene - our home
The scenario - Meredith and Noah helping their dad decorate the Christmas tree
"No, No Noah Emulet.....dat is dain-ja! dain-ja!.....no touch.....no sir!"
***
The scene - the dinner table
The scenario - Josh and Noah just got up from the table, I am still sitting with Meredith while she finishes her cookie for desert.
"Mommy, we da big gurls? yep the big gurls not finished...great job big gurls!"
***
The scene - the loser cruiser
The scenario - driving home on our way from school and she is answering my question about who was at school today
"Lily be dare, Riley be dare, Abigail be dare....Aaron no be dare.....Andrew no be dare.....Ummm Games be dare..."
"Oh so Gaines was there too?"
"No, no momma, just one games be dare!"
***
The scene - Meredith's bedroom
The scenario - meredith is just waking up
"Mommy I need my puter!"
"Why do you need your computer you just woke up....let's go get breakfast."
"no mommy, I need my puter....I need to check my e-mail"
Saturday, November 29, 2008
A much needed break
On Thursday after our Thanksgiving lunch with family all of the ladies in my family packed our stuff into the car and headed to the beach. We met up with several other women in the family and caravaned to Destin, Florida. We stayed for two nights in a condo and had a blast. We shopped and ate and laughed and reminisced. It was so much fun. This was the first trip I took without my children, it was long overdue. I will not lie I missed Meredith's smile and constant gibber jabber, I missed Noah's cuddles and silly grin. I missed the tons of hugs and kisses and love yous that they were at home giving their dad, but I really enjoyed my girls weekend.
When I got home I was greeted with a huge hug from Meredith and she didn't want me to put her down for about 20 minutes. When Noah awoke I got him out of his crib and he hugged me so tight and just held onto me with a firm grasp not wanting me to let him go. It felt awesome to be missed.
I also missed my husband so much and he also greeted me with a big hug and kiss along with folded laundry, a clean house, a clean kitchen, dinner on the stove, no dishes in the sink, and two kids who had been well taken care of.
I know why I love this man and married this man and then he does stuff like this and makes me fall in love with him all over again. Thanks Josh for taking care of the kids and the house and giving me a weekend away...I love you.
When I got home I was greeted with a huge hug from Meredith and she didn't want me to put her down for about 20 minutes. When Noah awoke I got him out of his crib and he hugged me so tight and just held onto me with a firm grasp not wanting me to let him go. It felt awesome to be missed.
I also missed my husband so much and he also greeted me with a big hug and kiss along with folded laundry, a clean house, a clean kitchen, dinner on the stove, no dishes in the sink, and two kids who had been well taken care of.
I know why I love this man and married this man and then he does stuff like this and makes me fall in love with him all over again. Thanks Josh for taking care of the kids and the house and giving me a weekend away...I love you.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Happy Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Today I am so thankful for my family. I could not have been blessed with a more wonderful husband or two more fabulous tikes! Yes, I have a lot to be thankful for.
Enjoy your turkey day and when I return from my girl's weekend, I will be back to blogging. My first weekend with no children, I know I should be thankful my husband has pushed me to go on this trip and volunteered to do the solo parenting, but I'm nervous to leave them and afraid of how much I will miss them.
So I will see you all Saturday!
Enjoy your turkey day and when I return from my girl's weekend, I will be back to blogging. My first weekend with no children, I know I should be thankful my husband has pushed me to go on this trip and volunteered to do the solo parenting, but I'm nervous to leave them and afraid of how much I will miss them.
So I will see you all Saturday!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Taking turns
Yes, the last two days have been all about taking turns. It has been a long time coming and long over due, but we did it. And no taking turns has nothing to do with the kids. Josh and I took turns the past two days spending the whole day with friends without one another and without kids doing things we enjoy. I went shopping....I know....get a hobby. Josh went tailgating and to Monday night football to see dem Saints!
I think we may do this more often, maybe even together....look at us getting wild and crazy!
I think we may do this more often, maybe even together....look at us getting wild and crazy!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Note to self
Dear Self,
Please make sure the baby monitor is turned off before you go into your children's rooms and vent to your husband about your in laws who are in earshot of the receiver. Or don't and perhaps they won't visit anymore.
xo,
your self
Please make sure the baby monitor is turned off before you go into your children's rooms and vent to your husband about your in laws who are in earshot of the receiver. Or don't and perhaps they won't visit anymore.
xo,
your self
Friday, November 21, 2008
What she says.....over-worked and under-paid
"Momma what you doing?"
"I am getting the Kentwood bottles to put outside so we can get some water"
"Oh.........Momma I help you" trying to pick one of the 5 gallon jugs up
"Momma, I can't do it....its heavy"
"Bug Mommy will get it"
"No momma....I do it....I do it"
"Okay, carry it to front door"
"Hi Ho, Hi Ho its off to work I go.....HI Ho, Hi Ho, Hi Ho......off to work I go" and she sang this the entire walk from the garage to the front porch while toting the empty jug
"Bug where did you learn that song?" trying to recall if she ever saw that movie, which she didn't
"See momma I do it.....I CAN do it!"
"Bug who taught you the Hi Ho song?"
"I no know momma....I did it!"
"I am getting the Kentwood bottles to put outside so we can get some water"
"Oh.........Momma I help you" trying to pick one of the 5 gallon jugs up
"Momma, I can't do it....its heavy"
"Bug Mommy will get it"
"No momma....I do it....I do it"
"Okay, carry it to front door"
"Hi Ho, Hi Ho its off to work I go.....HI Ho, Hi Ho, Hi Ho......off to work I go" and she sang this the entire walk from the garage to the front porch while toting the empty jug
"Bug where did you learn that song?" trying to recall if she ever saw that movie, which she didn't
"See momma I do it.....I CAN do it!"
"Bug who taught you the Hi Ho song?"
"I no know momma....I did it!"
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Noah's present
Josh and I ordered Noah a rocking chair from this shop on Etsy, for his birthday. I cannot say enough good things about this etsy shop and the quality of the chair. If you look closely you can see his name on the chair. I love it and if you are thinking of getting your little one a rocking chair too, consider getting one here. The chair is a great quality chair and the shop has wonderful customer service. Plus I believe in supporting small businesses!.jpg)
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Thanksgiving Feast at school
Here is the home-made Indian costume.....thanks Julia for all your help! Meredith would have gone as a bag lady without your help!
My cowboy and my Indian! See the cowboy shirt...real clever I know..JPG)
This Indian is sick of taking pictures and wants to go to school to the party! Suck it up Meredith, this is my first school party too and I want pictures. Also notice the cute little Indian purse I made.....move over Martha!
I talked her into one more before we went in.
A classroom full of Indians.....waiting for the party. Yes, there are a ton of pictures bare with me, it was very exciting and I couldn't contain myself!
So tired from a full day of playing....and soooo hungry.
All the little Indians enjoying a Thanksgiving feast. They were all so quiet because they skipped their snack time so they were starving!

The cutest little Indian girl....of course I am biased.
All the little Indians enjoying a Thanksgiving feast. They were all so quiet because they skipped their snack time so they were starving!
The cutest little Indian girl....of course I am biased.
Aren't they so cute!
Telling her dad to step away....don't embarrass me dad!
Chowing down.

I love this picture, I love how it shows how happy she is at her school. I love her school and what it has done for her.
Notice my little Indian cleaned her entire plate and yes, she asked for more. There were chicken nuggets, Cheetos, fruit and a cookie she is finishing. She asked for more fruit and nuggets, she really didn't want the cookie....I have to say I am proud.
Notice the clean plate and the little stuffed Indian.
Meredith and Mrs. Jenny with her little friend Ella!
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The Birthday Part 2
The night of your birthday I made you your favorite dinner and we had Mimi and Poppa over to celebrate. We started by opening presents, because cake was after dinner and I was pretty sure after cake, you would go straight to a bath and I was right.
Wow, presents too! I love birthdays! You are sitting in your rocking chair that Daddy and I got for you. You love it, in the morning you crawl right over to it and climb in. You also push it against the coffee table to use it as a latter to crawl onto the coffee table. My little boy!
Awe Sweet sister, biting your head off! Overall she handled your birthday better than I thought she would.
Ummm my new truck from Mimi or my rocker from Mom and Dad...tough decisions!

I love my new truck!
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Happy Birthday to you! We would not have a repeat episode of this morning, you were determined to taste some before we sang!
Really freaked out by the fire.
Wow, presents too! I love birthdays! You are sitting in your rocking chair that Daddy and I got for you. You love it, in the morning you crawl right over to it and climb in. You also push it against the coffee table to use it as a latter to crawl onto the coffee table. My little boy!
Ummm my new truck from Mimi or my rocker from Mom and Dad...tough decisions!I love my new truck!
Happy Birthday to you! We would not have a repeat episode of this morning, you were determined to taste some before we sang!
More freaked out by the candle itself.
Cake....finally cake....we are starting to get the drift....cake first then singing.

You literally dove right in! Good thing you had your fork!
Making sure you get every last drop of sugar off before you grabbed more cake!
You were getting serious, the fork had to go....double fisting!
Now this is more like it....happy birthday Noah!
Happy Birthday Noah man....your party is Saturday....know what that means....MORE CAKE!
The Birthday
I am truly a fan of the birthday week, hell I even believe in the birthday month, but I won't push it. Anyway I think the whole week should be special and it is. So Noah, enjoy your birthday week. Yesterday morning on his actualy birthday we had his Mommy and Me party. We all went to celebrate including Meredith, Mimi and Daddy.
Here is how I brought my children to Mommy and Me, nice and clean!
A rare moment, Meredith helping Noah with a bottle. Awe!
Singing Happy Birthday, Noah you really didn't enjoy the song too much, you just wanted the darn cake. Really wanted it...
Much happier now that Daddy is here and your belly is full of cake. I have to say Sorry to my lovely husband again. He stayed up late baking the cupcakes for the party today and I didn't even wait for him to sing. My two year old was being a real pill because she didn't want to wait to eat cake she WANTED IT RIGHT NOW DAMMIT! And well Noah had missed his morning nap and snack and things were headed south and quick. Sorry sweetheart, but thanks for taking the time to come...I really appreciate it and I am sure Noah will one day too!
Daddy's little man
Here is how I brought my children to Mommy and Me, nice and clean!
A rare moment, Meredith helping Noah with a bottle. Awe!
Singing Happy Birthday, Noah you really didn't enjoy the song too much, you just wanted the darn cake. Really wanted it...You are so heartbroken that you just can't eat it.....Why are you people singing....just let me eat my cake!!!!
This is why you love Mimi best, she just let you eat cake and get her all dirty. Look how exhausted you are from all that screaming!
Now you are much happier!
Even your buddy Burke was there to celebrate....Isn't my godchild very cute!
This is all the others babies in mommy and me. Or you and Burkes women....you two were the only boys that day!
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Now you are much happier!This is all the others babies in mommy and me. Or you and Burkes women....you two were the only boys that day!
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Much happier now that Daddy is here and your belly is full of cake. I have to say Sorry to my lovely husband again. He stayed up late baking the cupcakes for the party today and I didn't even wait for him to sing. My two year old was being a real pill because she didn't want to wait to eat cake she WANTED IT RIGHT NOW DAMMIT! And well Noah had missed his morning nap and snack and things were headed south and quick. Sorry sweetheart, but thanks for taking the time to come...I really appreciate it and I am sure Noah will one day too!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
To my little one on his birthday
Dear Noah,
Today you are a year old, it’s hard to believe I know. Last night as I was thinking about your birthday I thought about all the things I worried about before you arrived. Like if I would love you as much as I love your big sister? If I could be a good mom to both of you? How would I find time to feed and dress and carve out time individually for you both? Today looking back on those thoughts I realize how very serious they were and how silly they are.
I love you just as much as I love your sister, but in a completely different way. I love you because you are you. A friend once told me not to worry, that there doesn’t have to be enough room in my heart to love you both, because when you were born I would grow a whole new heart and love you just as much, with my entire heart. She was right, I grew a second heart on November 19, 2007.
I’ve also learned to become a completely different mother with you. While Meredith may have been my first and the one I tried the hardest to get things right with. You were the one I feel like I got it right with. And no not everything I have done with you is right, but at the same time I don’t fear that it is so wrong either. I am a more relaxed mom with you and I think you are a better child for it. You have taught me to use my instincts more and learn from you and take cues from you and not books. You have showed me how to be a mom and how to be a mom of 2 tikes under 2. You were my inspiration for this blog.
A year ago today, I was in a recovery room begging your dad not make me have the dreaded c-section. Yes, you were a section baby, we can thank your sister for that one. I was begging and pleading for him to talk to the doctor about a VBAC or at least just let me go home. His answer was calm and rational and reassuring, we ( you and I) would be fine. And we were.
I remember when they pulled you out, you didn’t scream immediately and I worried, gosh did I worry. In the 3.2 seconds it took you to scream, my world stopped and it all came to a crashing halt. I needed you to scream and you did and then the world was right. I was so happy you were here, so happy you were safe, so thankful and so very blessed. Not very long after you were born, they whisked you away to the nursery with your dad. I was so jealous that your dad got to leave with you and be with you and to show you off, after all I was the one that carried you around for 9 months, I wanted to be the one to go with you. I didn’t want you very far away from me at all.
It seemed like forever before I got to hold you. Back in the recovery room I was very agitated it took them so long to bring you to me. I told your dad to go and get you and I didn’t care what they said, just bring you to me. Please understand I was pretty heavily medicated and what seemed like hours were actually only minutes. I missed you. The nurse finally brought you around and I got to hold you for the first time. You were so sweet and I was instantly in love, head over heels. In that instant I knew that the c-section and the worry that went with it was all worth it.
You were a piece of work though, when you were born you were just as active outside the womb as you were inside and that activity has never stopped. At night when I was pregnant I would feel you kick all through the night and you would actually wake me up out of deep sleeps. The first several weeks of your life you were the same way, I wasn‘t sure I would make it. On the night you were born, you were in your hospital bassinet asleep and your dad and I tried to get some sleep to and in the next instant you were screaming you little head off. Your dad held you the whole night pacing the room. When I asked him why he didn’t at least sit down and rock you he said he was afraid he would fall asleep and drop you if he sat down. You had us wrapped around your finger from day one and still do.
Your activity has not decreased at all, but you are sleeping through the night so I guess we‘ll keep you. You are always in motion and always smiling. You have such a great disposition I hope it stays with you forever.
Noah it seems like just yesterday you joined our family, but at the same time it feels like you have been a part of it forever. Happy birthday little man, I love you so much.
Love,
Mom
Today you are a year old, it’s hard to believe I know. Last night as I was thinking about your birthday I thought about all the things I worried about before you arrived. Like if I would love you as much as I love your big sister? If I could be a good mom to both of you? How would I find time to feed and dress and carve out time individually for you both? Today looking back on those thoughts I realize how very serious they were and how silly they are.
I love you just as much as I love your sister, but in a completely different way. I love you because you are you. A friend once told me not to worry, that there doesn’t have to be enough room in my heart to love you both, because when you were born I would grow a whole new heart and love you just as much, with my entire heart. She was right, I grew a second heart on November 19, 2007.
I’ve also learned to become a completely different mother with you. While Meredith may have been my first and the one I tried the hardest to get things right with. You were the one I feel like I got it right with. And no not everything I have done with you is right, but at the same time I don’t fear that it is so wrong either. I am a more relaxed mom with you and I think you are a better child for it. You have taught me to use my instincts more and learn from you and take cues from you and not books. You have showed me how to be a mom and how to be a mom of 2 tikes under 2. You were my inspiration for this blog.
A year ago today, I was in a recovery room begging your dad not make me have the dreaded c-section. Yes, you were a section baby, we can thank your sister for that one. I was begging and pleading for him to talk to the doctor about a VBAC or at least just let me go home. His answer was calm and rational and reassuring, we ( you and I) would be fine. And we were.
I remember when they pulled you out, you didn’t scream immediately and I worried, gosh did I worry. In the 3.2 seconds it took you to scream, my world stopped and it all came to a crashing halt. I needed you to scream and you did and then the world was right. I was so happy you were here, so happy you were safe, so thankful and so very blessed. Not very long after you were born, they whisked you away to the nursery with your dad. I was so jealous that your dad got to leave with you and be with you and to show you off, after all I was the one that carried you around for 9 months, I wanted to be the one to go with you. I didn’t want you very far away from me at all.
It seemed like forever before I got to hold you. Back in the recovery room I was very agitated it took them so long to bring you to me. I told your dad to go and get you and I didn’t care what they said, just bring you to me. Please understand I was pretty heavily medicated and what seemed like hours were actually only minutes. I missed you. The nurse finally brought you around and I got to hold you for the first time. You were so sweet and I was instantly in love, head over heels. In that instant I knew that the c-section and the worry that went with it was all worth it.
You were a piece of work though, when you were born you were just as active outside the womb as you were inside and that activity has never stopped. At night when I was pregnant I would feel you kick all through the night and you would actually wake me up out of deep sleeps. The first several weeks of your life you were the same way, I wasn‘t sure I would make it. On the night you were born, you were in your hospital bassinet asleep and your dad and I tried to get some sleep to and in the next instant you were screaming you little head off. Your dad held you the whole night pacing the room. When I asked him why he didn’t at least sit down and rock you he said he was afraid he would fall asleep and drop you if he sat down. You had us wrapped around your finger from day one and still do.
Your activity has not decreased at all, but you are sleeping through the night so I guess we‘ll keep you. You are always in motion and always smiling. You have such a great disposition I hope it stays with you forever.
Noah it seems like just yesterday you joined our family, but at the same time it feels like you have been a part of it forever. Happy birthday little man, I love you so much.
Love,
Mom
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
In denial
I am in full denial that tomorrow my baby, my newborn, the one I was just pregnant with will be one! Yes he will have been here a full year tomorrow and I am in denial. Where has the time gone? I can still remember what it felt like to be pregnant with him, has it really been a year? Was I asleep for most of the last year? Oh yeah, I was just in that new mommy fog. However my fog was pretty heavy because I had not one, but two babies when I brought him home. Yes as much as I thought, my first baby was a big girl, she was just a baby. Two babies, no wonder this year has flown, how did I manage, how did I get by, how am I still getting by? While things have gotten easier and I can manage to get a shower before noon, I will say being the mom of two is not always a walk in the park. However it is easier now. And it is the most awesome thing in the world. Noah you are my biggest crush, my absolute sweetheart, my momma's boy. You have taught me how to grow a whole new heart and love someone with all of it. I love you little man!
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Walking down memory lane....
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